Huh?

You know how when something gets revived, there's always someone who complains about how they ruined old thing with new thing?  That's going to be me if this movie gets made. 

Why a movie?  Why not try to make a 16 minute short and see if your guys have the chemistry the Stooges did?  You have to remember that they developed their act on vaudeville during the 20s, even skipping out on radio like most other comedians of the time.  And I have yet to see a single impersonator get Curly right.  They shave their heads, talk at a high pitch, and act like a child but they never quite get it.


At least Sony finally released all the shorts on those eight DVD sets.

No fair!

You can't bring the NFL back!  What about us Redskins fans?  You think we want to watch THAT?!?  And it looks like we'll have big competition with the Bengals for Andrew Luck.  Ugh.

On the plus side, the NFL coming back will always bug the right people, so I can't hate it.

This Week In Entertainment (7/28/11)

My Pick of the Week is some Pac-Man game for the 3DS.  I basically want it for Pac-Man Championship Edition, but its got some other games to go along with it.


In theaters this week is Cowboys vs. Aliens.  Maybe I have bad taste but I actually think I'll see this one.  Eh, it has Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig, and the trailer looked interesting.  I read somewhere that this movie was made after someone wrote a comic and shopped it around conventions. 

You know what I was just dying to see in 3D?  Not the Smurfs movie.  Why?  Why do they take the characters and put them in New York, or wherever?  Why what's-her-face?  Is she really who you want in a kids' movie?  I will say that I think Hank Azaria will steal the movie as Gargamel, and the Scottish Smurf seems like a funny idea. 

On one soiled Blu-Ray is The Blues Brothers.  Great movie.  The sequel wasn't bad but was really unnecessary. 

Also on Blu-Ray is a slideshow presentation about Leonardo DaVinci.  Remember to put this one out in the open so people think that you're so smart.

But Freddy's dead!

After all that speculation from two days ago, the final downloadable Mortal Kombat 2011 kharacter wasn't from a previous MK game, or was it from the DC license.  Nope, it comes from the Warner Bros license, since Warner Bros bought up the series after Midway went bankrupt.

Yep, Freddy.  Take that, Jason!

Jealous much?

Ten years ago, I couldn't even imagine this happening to me.  This is my proudest day of being an MST3k fan.

Oh, by the way.

I don't have a PS3 or Xbox 360, so I haven't even played the game.  I just like the follow the MK story.

We'll find out tomorrow who the final character will be.  I'm excited!

The Most Important Mystery Ever

I'm talking, of course, about who will be the fourth and final downloadable character in Mortal Kombat 2011. 

It could be lots of kombatants.  Despite the fact that the silhouette looks like a normal man, it could easily be Motaro, the only Mortal Kombat 3 kharacter not in the game. However, a centaur is a bit tough to program and motion capture.  I'm sure that's why they came up with a way to get rid of him in this reboot.  Fans weren't exactly happy with the minotaur version of him, either.

 Another option is to have one of the three bosses be playable.  That would be Goro, Kintaro, and Shao Kahn.  I'd pick Shao Kahn, simply because he's the final boss, the story is about stopping him, and Sheeva already serves as a playable four-armed warrior.

But those are probably the most obvious choices.  Let's delve deeper into the Mortal Kombat universe.  Beyond the plot of the first three games.



Quan Chi represents Mortal Kombat 4.  He is in the roboot due to the fact that he's A) Popular, B) earlier retconned as the guy responsible for Mortal Kombat 3's plot.  Now, a good guess for the mystery guy could be Shinnok, the big bad guy of the fourth game, but I'm betting they're holding off most MK4 kharacters until the sequel to this game.  Mortal Kombat 10 will presumably be about the Netherrealm invasion.

What about beyond Mortal Kombat 4?  What about Deadly Alliance, and Deception?  Well, I figured they were considered the point where the story was too complex, and the reboot was meant to get rid of them, but from what I've seen, they've only reconfirmed many plot elements from latter games.  Shao Kahn is still linked to the Dragon King.  Liu Kang was still trained by a gross fat guy.  There's still a chaotic realm.  I mean, I knew they had many characters in the back ground of a few stages, but I figured those were winking in-jokes.  (Remember that guy?  He sucks!  Hahaha, laugh at him fighting like a loser in the background!)  But a lot of story bits I've seen seems to think they kept more than they threw out.

Kenshi represents Deadly Alliance.  Which is weird because I can't remember his storyline, but I guess he was popular.  Then again, I guess it was slim pickings with that game's new characters.  My point is, that brings us to the sixth game, Deception.  Which new character from that game is in MK 2011?  None.  So why not throw in a token character from that game?  Probably none of them are any good.  I would have guessed Kira, on the basis of being a woman with red hair, but Skarlet was recently created.  Poor Kira, now she doesn't stand out anymore. 

That leaves us with two more options.  The first one is Havik.  I think he's the most popular new Deception character, plus he was mentioned in one of the endings.  But do we really want the Chaosrealm?  I guess it's OK in a bizarro-world way, but if we have the Chaosrealm, then we have to bring back the Orderrealm, and that place is lame!  The other option is, of course, SHUJINKO, the most popular Mortal Kombat kharacter OF ALL TIME!  Oh wait, he's still sitting in a Seidan jail cell.  Well, I guess the Order Realm has one good use. 

I'm honestly rooting for young Shujinko, just to laugh at the fans if he's chosen.  And he would only be chosen if the MK writers could convince themselves that, "No, he's really a good character.  The fans just have to give him another chance."

Another option would be a DC comic character.  It's not that likely after DC made the eighth game in the series rated T, but we could still end up with The Joker or Darkseid being decapitated or split in half.  Probably not going to happen, but if it did, it would be a DC villian. 

You know what I'm going to guess?  It's going to be Chameleon, because Mortal Kombat could never go wrong adding more ninjas.

Screw you, Vesta!

Yeah, I'm talking to you, 4 Vesta!  We know where all those meteorites are coming from.  Don't try to act innocent.

WHOA!

There's a wiki for Lego?  (Of course there is.)  



Man, I know what I can finally do during a vacation.

Adventures in Twitter

I found out a woman I have a crush on has a husband.  Now I'm hoping she says something morally awful so I can unfollow her without looking foolish.

How was your day?

This Week In Entertainment (7/19/11)

In theaters this week is the final movie of the Marvel six.  It's Captain America.  It takes place during World War 2 but it should set up the first Avenger movie.  Kudos to Marvel for what they succeeded in doing.  It's crazy making six movies (all with about $150 million budgets) to lead up to a couple more films.  This is an easy Pick of the Week.

On Blu-Ray is Amelie.  I've never seen this movie, but I've seen the cover many time in stores, so I assume it's about a cute French alien. 

We have two DVDs about the NBA champs, the 2011 Mavericks, and the NHL Stanley Cup winner, the 2011 Bruins. (Blu-ray)  I was rooting against the latter, but watching Canadians riot is pretty funny.

Tekken the movie is about... I don't know.  Never played the games. 

We end with The Poky Little Puppy.  Man, those Little Golden Books were my childhood. 

Holy crap! It's about time.

Three Little Spuds

Why didn't I think of this?  Now I know what's going on my birthday wish list!

Wait, why wasn't this on the news?

I don't care if it's from a video game.  To me, this really happened.




Too bad her political enemies know her weakness:  giant cages dropped from above.

Cinematic Titanic set to make more episodes.

Well it's about time.  I can't go to any of their live shows (although I might go to their upcoming D.C. show in October.)  So I've been waiting for them to release new shows since Tiki Island.  Live, not live, I'll buy either.

So today I wake up to find that they are going to film their next two episodes, "War of the Insects" and "Rattlers."  I don't know anything about these films, but knowing CT they were probably made in the seventies. 

As much as I miss the shadowrama, the live episodes have been higher quality, so I can't wait until November when they release the first of the two DVDs.

(Taking a quick look at their store, they have posters of their upcoming tours, and they offer cheaper copies of their earlier episodes, as long as you don't mind them a bit scratched up.)

This Week In Entertainment (7/12/11)

My Pick of the Week closes out the Harry Potter saga, at least until J.K does a reboot.  (Grittier!   More realistic!)  Here I include a picture of an Enemy Mine inspired poster.  Sure, why not?

Also out in theaters this week is Winnie the Pooh.  How many of the movies have they made since my childhood?  I remember they had a live action show on the Disney Channel and a cartoon on ABC Saturday mornings, as well as a few movies already made.  Winnie must be a huge money maker for Disney.

Phase 7 is ... I don't know, but it's given a quote by Bloody Disgusting, so here's your antidote to this week's kids movies.


On DVD we have Arthur.  Did they really remake a 30 year old movie?  (My entire experience with the Arthur series is scratching my head a few times at The Critic.)

Here's a collection of Buster Keaton shorts.  On Blu-Ray, too!   The latter are remastered and makes me wish I had Blu-Ray.  Maybe I'll get a player (and HD TV) by the end of the year.

"Spirit" of Bellydancing?  Don't you mean fleshiness?

Amazon also has a lot of series On Demand, or whatever their online streaming option is called.  Now you can watch Teen Wolf: The Series, in high definition!

I'm confused.

Bernie Mac made a movie about Derek Jeter before he died?   (Bernie, not Derek.  That would be odd.)

Oh hell.

Tork's Blog is taking the week off.  Go find entertainment and enlightenment elsewhere.