What I've been up to lately.

I've been thinking about the future.  Now, contrary to what those of you who love and adore me may think, I won't live forever.  So I'm doing what anybody in my position would do:  I'm giving my money to talented people who may actually do something. 

In this case, I've made pledges to three different kickstarter projects.  Kickstarter makes me nervous because I'm worried I'll give money to a scam artist, but for now I think I made some good choices.  The above clip is a promo to three different documentaries.  The man has already made a documentary about text adventure games and an old Internet bulletin board system, and I got a coin for contributing the former.  (Haven't seen the latter.)  I've pledged enough to the current project that I'll receive a credit in all three proposed documentaries.  How about that?  I may get an entry in the Internet Movie Database.*

* -  Nah.  I'll just have my name listed among a sea of others at the end of each documentary.  Still cool, though.

Another project I contribute a little cash too is a Video Game Museum to be opened in Las Vegas.  One of the rewards for pledging is a ticket to go once it's open.  I really hope to go next year.  We'll see.

The last is a short movie called Troll Bridge.  It's about a really old Conan the Barbarian type fighting against rock creatures.  Really crossing my fingers on this one.

I won't pretend that I'm some kind of philanthropist since I get something back if the projects go through and I get refunded if the projects don't.  Still, I like what I've seen so far, and hopefully there will be more good projects in the future.

The Tork is going to Vegas!

So pack his bags and tell the waitresses I'm looking for a wife!


(Next year.)

Wonder Woman!

is not going to last long on air. Just guessing.

What happened to the 'little' part?

I was looking through some trailers and noticed an entry for "Red Riding Hood." Sure were a lot of scenes where her boyfriend was pushing her against the wall or laying her on the ground. What? Yeah, Red's got a boyfriend in the movie. I thought the fairytale was about a little girl but this movie has been Twilight'd. No really, it was directed by the guy who did at least one of the movies. Weren't there already werewolves in the Twilight books? Do we really need to further ruin them?


In other news, there's a fourth Scream movie. The franchise is still pretending that it has rules. NO! The movies have never given a damn about the so-called rules. Knock that off. It's just a series of lazy, cynical movies that pretend that it's subverting tropes instead of embracing them. The Scream movies are like the last dozen seasons of The Simpsons. See, we point out our laziness, so that makes it OK! The Simpsons got away with it because it's suppose to be funny, but Scream just wants to have an excuse. If you're scared, then they'll claim that it's part of the plan, but if you're not, they'll pretend that you didn't get the joke. "You're just not smart enough" is the kind of excuse that dumb people give for their failures.


The Smurfs movie still looks like a terrible live-action/cgi hybrid.


Pirates of the Caribbean 4 dumps the two costars, which is good because they were out-of-place in the sequels, and brings back Captain Barbossa. As ridiculous as it was to bring his character back in the third movie, he was the ONLY good thing about that film. He can bug his eyes out halfway through his lines all day as far as I'm concerned. I still don't think Jack should be the main character, but maybe this movie will be closer the the original.

Testing...

Crow: This is how Crow talks.

Tom Servo: And this is how Servo talks.

Gypsy: And this is how Gypsy talks.



Oh, just working on the Friday thing.

This Weekend!

A brand new Tork's Blog idea! Be there, or something.

Couple movies

I'd like to poin out a couple movies. One is already available. One will come out in a year or so.


The first one is named Possumus Woman. It's made by Ben Heckendorn, who is known of taking old video game consoles and making them into portables. I watched the first fourth of his Adventurous movie which was fun, but I never got back to finish it. Hopefully I'll get around to watching this and some of his other movies, which are all really low budget stuff. All these movies are free but you have to have broadband to download them.


The other movie is The Lost Skeleton Returns Again. It's a sequel to The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, which was a fun parody of fifties sci-fi movies. Animala is in that movie, which is worth the price alone. Apparently the scientist of the first film loses faith in science, so he grows depressed. If you saw the first film, you know how he used science in every sentence, so this should be great. Unfortunately, the crew who made this movie have yet to release there second film, Trail of the Screaming Forehead, so I don't expect this to come out for a while. Oh well. It's just like how Hobgoblins 2 is still in post-production too, except that's the only way I would ever mention these two movies in the same paragraph.

Did I mention that Animala is a great character?

Coming Soon: Panic Edition

SHATNER TO DIRECT ALERT! SHATNER TO DIRECT ALERT! YAAAAAAAARGH!


The premise is that grief can be funny. Or something.

(I'm looking for a gif of a red alarm but I can't find one, dangit.)

Look Out, Old Bots Are Back!

MST3k is back! Sorta.

The official MST3k website is now going back to its old url, MST3kinfo.com. MST3k.com is now owned by Best Brain Inc., who are going to produce animated episodes of the 'Bots. BBI President Jim Mallon will be a writer as well as the returning voice for Gypsy, who I'm guessing isn't the head of ConGypCo anymore. Returning MST3k writer Paul Chaplin will also write for this series, and is going to be Crow #3. No word on who will be the next Servo, but the article on the front page of mst3kinfo.com hints at new performers.

Presumably the show will just be about some misadventures of our favorite wise -cracking puppets/robots. What I find really interesting is that the old show is now being referred to as "the legacy show" and we may see some vault material from BBI as well. I always wanted BBI to release a tape of all the promos they did. Right now we are being promised behind-the-scenes footage.

I know I've been lax on updating this blog, but I'm going to review each episode they make. Can't wait till November 5th!

Chomics!

Chomic is a term created by my friend, Pharaoh Mobius. It was a word he and a friend created to describe online comics. I first heard him use this phrase in late 2001 when he decided to make an online sprite-based comic based on an RPG that several of us* were participating. That's a story for another day, though. I only have about 15 minutes before I'm going to get breakfast.

Not so long story short, I've asked him for his old "Tales from the Duh" sprite sheets and I'm going to make a few comics to be posted here. I'm not going to bother setting up an account at a comic place because I tend to get bored easily. (Remember when I was going to program an Atari game? Or make a portable out of a console? Both projects put on hold indefinitely.)

I came up with a few ideas on Monday. It's not going to be a continuation of the old comic because I couldn't do the story justice. I want to make about seven to ten comics with about 3-4 panels each before I post anything. I just want to see what kind of punchlines and scenarios I can come up with. And even if my humor fails, my bad attempt at background items should at least make it worth it. If I have any kind of success, maybe I can make it a weekend thing. I've been really lazy updating this blog on weekends.

Surely I can at least cut and paste and throw in some lazy dialogue and an obvious punchline, right?







* - And by us, I mean the people who I've linked to. Check out those links to your right.

Coming Soon: Gipper Edition

Usually I would ignore this kind of movie. From the entry at the internet movie database, it's clear that this movie has some political messages. It seems that David Arquette wrote a Republican-bashing slasher between periods of smoking some funny looking cigarettes.

However, it does have a Ronald Reagan look-alike hacking up hippies, so I'm sure it'll be one of the most popular movies of the year.

Coming Soon: Puppets Edition

I'm so psyched about this horrible movie! This is going to be the Snakes on a Plane of 2007! I can't wait!

Check out some photos here. I really hope that they make a rifftrax for this one.

I believe it comes out on Halloween of this year. Take that, Saw 4!

Coming Soon... (Dummies' Edition)

From the makers of all those profitable torture movies.



They're dummies. They'll probably put someone in a torture trap at some poin.

You scream. You die. And you better have ham!

March 2007.