I found this amusing.

I also found it two months late, but that's pretty fast for me to discover something.

Super Bill

Man, if I can ever get the July Music Video thing started again I'll have to have an all-rap year.

A Scary Story

Ok, on Sunday I was cleaning my room when I found an envelope.  It was one from my credit union.  So, I opened thinking that it was yet another thing asking me to buy some insurance.  But instead, it was a new ATM card!  My previous credit union ATM card had expired three months ago and I wasn't even aware! 


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!


Luckily, I didn't have to activate it or anything.  It was good to go.   But let this be a warning to you! 

AFLAC the duck killed today.

when Gilbert Gottfried opened up his big mouth.


He is survived by Squecky the Groundhog. (Obscure.)

Larry the Cable Guy

is not someone I expected to see while watching NASA TV.

Ok, I admit it.

This blog and its views are completely funded by Pharaoh Mobius.

And all I have to say for my four years of deception is KA-CHING!




(I feel left out with all the talk about whoros and the whatever bros. Somebody give me a friggen handout!)

Smoking is cool.

I've noticed that they've started to print the amount of calories on soda cans. I can pretty much see where this is going.

You know, several years ago I tried to cut down on drinking soda and drank as much fruit juice as I could. I ended up with terrible acid reflux. Won't make that mistake again.

Gotta go drink more while I can. That first heart attack will be great.

Another Bad ESPN writer.

"I don't have a problem with patriotic people, I just which they wouldn't be that way in public."


God, if this guy has a wife, I can only imagine how much he tells her how fat she is. Because he loves her, you see.


I was in a chat last night where people were saying that America was more controlled by patriotism by Nazi Germany. This is the kind of dumb idea you can have because you define yourself as NOT-something.

What a bunch of babies.

And now, Tork's Scienctry Corner...

I usually focus on games and movies and stuff, but now I'm going to take time out to post this link about science. (Actually, it's more of a rant, and it's not safe for work.)


Whenever someone tells me about standing up for causes, I'm going to shove Jenny McCarthy in their faces. There is such a thing as harmful do-goodism.

How about them crazy Phelps?

Yeah, that whatever cult sure is dumb and stupid huh? And pretty evil the way they troll people just to instigate lawsuits.

While I have to congratulate everyone who's stood up to these jerks, can I also say that I'm a little tired of the self-righteousness I see when people discuss this group? Yeah, they're bad and their ideas are dumb. We all get that.


It's just that recognizing that the Westboro Baptist Cult doesn't mean you're righteous. It just means you have a pulse.

I hope nobody finds out

that I started the shooting between the Koreas.


(Sorry!)

I had a sandwich.

Couple days ago. It was good, too. I need to learn the art of cutting a sandwich diagonally.

Sadly, we were out of provolone. American cheese just doesn't work on a regular sandwich anymore.

Mickey is still resting.

He hasn't contributed to the blog in a while but he'll return after he's finish with his therapy to treat his sex addiction.


We at Tork's Blog will keep him in our prayers.

I was playing Tiger Woods 10 the other day.

The game mode was tournament and it was my personal avatar versus Tiger in a close one. I would have won, but he cheated.



(What do you mean I'm 3 months behind? I'm as up to date as the "Yo Dawg!" meme!)

Can I request a song?

Yeah, I'd like to hear that new song from Fish Picker.

Big fan of the show. First time, long time. Thanks!!!!

Mickey Crisis: Day 6

If you're wondering why I didn't cover the crisis over the weekend, then you don't follow the news.


Anyway, let me check my notes so we can catch up....Oh.




Vermont, the 14th State, is no more. Tune in tomorrow for more updates.

Mickey Crisis: Day 3

MAJOR NEWS!


Today we've heard rumors that North Dakota is planning to sell nukes to Mickey.

North Dakota is the most powerful and influential of The Axis of Poinless States.


May God have mercy on our souls.

Day 2 of the Mickey Crisis

Zombie Abe Lincoln just gave a press conference. He says he will not preserve the union this time.

Stay tuned for more reports...

Mickey seceeds.

Just heard the news. I say good riddance. Did any of you like that guy? I sure didn't. I say we're better off withoCAN I COME WITH YOU!?


Fine, I didn't want to come to your new country anyway. Jerk.

I'm on top of that.

One of the big trends in electronics is THREE D! No, really. It's the future! We're all going to have 3-dimensional televisions by the end of the year, and watch sports in one, two, three dimensions!

Sure, there are some naysayers out there who are holding back progress by saying stuff. Stuff like, "this is a dumb fad that's failed before. Again and again." But not me. Starting now, I'm converting this blog to 3D. I will work on this day and night just to meet the November sales of televisions. I promise this, even if this means I will be posting less.

In the meantime, please purchase your glasses. You'll need them.

Happy New Year's, Everybody

Thus concludes my obligatory recognition of popular holiday.

Try not to die of alcohol poisoning tonight!