Personal Geographies.
I have never been able to root myself down to one place in it's entirety. I was adopted from a foreign country, lived and moved all over the city of Chicago, and moved to Milwaukee. Nothing seems to stick because I cannot wait to leave the place I am in now. I have traveled, and I enjoy the nouveau and freshness that comes from such a nomadic lifestyle. I like to be lost, to feel like for once it isn't boring. Everything is fresh. I crave that newness.
Milwaukee for me became a prime example of this feeling I rebel against so vehemently. I can get into any bar here, I can walk from one end to the other in a day, I have started a business and conquered my own corner of the entertainment industry here. Although these accomplishments seem great to some people, that feeling of establishment feels like death. It feels like I can no longer have any adventures. I am afraid of the routine. I have lived on every part of the city, Bayview, East Side and The UWM campus area. I can gladly say I know, for the most part, my way around. I couldn't tell you street names (those never come easily to me), but I could navigate my way around. I miss getting lost and just enjoying the feeling of being small.
I think the desire to feel small is why I could only ever live in a large city (Milwaukee to me being far too small). Cities that are big (like London or Chicago, both of which I have been to) are the places that someone is always out, about, the feel alive. they have this pulse that resonates through them and allows for the fun to never stop. I don't feel so alone. There is always a bar open, a restaurant, someone out on the street. there is an overwhelming feeling of potential. I think that's what a City means to me, potential. Cities bring that out in people. The allow for all types, shapes, walks of life to have a forum through which they can work, survive and thrive together. I cannot even explain about how many times I have made a friend on the train, or gone to the same bar 100 times and still have never seen a regular. When I go out in milwaukee, I can probably bet that everyone I have met at least once or they know me. It gets so draining. It becomes a chore to find fun, rather than an exciting prospect. The choices are so limited here. It just isn't filling my metropolitan worldly requirement.
I hope to one day go back to Chicago, and I plan to do so soon. I want to make it so that I have lived in every major neighborhood in the city proper. I have so far lived in Pilsen, Rodger's Park, Wrigley, Lincoln Park and Logan Square. These are areas that I can say I am confident in, and there are still so many I do not know well. I could also do Berlin, London, perhaps go as far as Tokyo, or Australia. I need that movement. I think that there is something to be said about people who crave adventure. We tend to be very quick witted, malleable, like little chameleon that can fit in anywhere. We are often more excited, more personable. We understand how to navigate just places, but life and relationships well. I find that this need to see and grow drives people to great things. So often I read about how just changing your space can change how you feel. that being pushed and driven to become something new really can make one find them selves. Getting lost is the only way to really find something. Authors like Chuck Palahniuk do a great job exploring those things. I also find books that describe dystopian societies also describe routine as the enemy of the people. Aldous Huxley does this well. I think I feel like those characters so often, fighting to get out of something. Being trapped. I make it my life mission to never be that way.
Exploration doesn't just have to be done through physical activities either. Exploration can be done through constantly educating yourself, moving across mind-scapes and finding places that challenge you mentally. Go live a little in fear. Challenge and question emotional security. Those are other ways to use the constant desire to rove in a positive way. I know I would like nothing more that to always be a little scared. I think that uncertainty is what keeps us alive and a little more human. Comfort is a curse I reject. I think I always will.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Part DEUX
continued....
When I reached Milwaukee, I was lost. I knew that The Rave/Eagles Club was a large, often trafficked concert hall, but the lack of dancers, and well known DJs visiting said establishments was close to nil. There was also no places for me to dance. I felt very lost. I began slowly meeting people by a tending the few and far between concerts that i could, going to clubs, herring local top 40s djs and slowly I began to find my people again. These people brought me into the party scene of the city, the behind closed doors, the up and coming music I had never really been privy to. The struggling artists who held down more than one job to support their love of the scene. Those people I began to cling to because they wanted so badly to contribute to the very scene I had been riding along for a living. I was hooked. I began to dance for raves. Small, events thrown by a few djs, a fledgling production company, illegal in some cases, and more fun than anything I had ever known. I was giving back more to the music that had given so much to me. I began organizing, helping to throw, doing the business end of everything in order to have my hand in this. I continue, to this day, and have well established myself as a dancer, designer of rave clothing and a friend to the most talented musicians in the industry. You see, the fact is, the big names ride pom the waves of their success, these people get no recognition, no real pay. I now can truly say I am watching stars rise. I am helping those who want so badly to just play a show so someone hears their talent. This is the sort of witness I am. I am giving whatever I can to now allow for someone else to experience that rush. To let someone pretend that for and evening they are Tiesto, even if they play only to their own friends in a dingy bar in a dingy town.
Because of my desire to bring this experience to others, I not only began making rave wear, I now own a small business doing it. I also have begun to run my own GoGo dancing company. I want to find the next best girl for the job. It is so important for me to be present. I don't need to record, write down, photograph or document these events. I have found that this world is about each personal momentary experience. There is no way to capture emotion in a bottle. Music is what feelings sound like. and every night we continue to pack our selves into these places because we are chancing that high. I will dance until my knees crumble, and then I will design until the style is old and I can proudly say that I knew Von Foil, Marcus J, Decode, Swamppkatt and other names that you will never see on a bill for The Congress Theatre. But I was there, and that is more than enough. I can only hope to bring more people in, but you can't take anything away from it but the images that play inside your head.
Witness, for EDM, is a split second. And then the memories remain. You can't explain your heart syncing up to a bass beat, sweat forming on your skin as they build up before the drop. You can't explain how you can hug a total stranger, hold them and sing along to "Raise Your Weapon" and leave a concert hall with a new best friend and not know their real name. Or maybe it's the time that you walked up to Theo from Designer Drugs (a NY dj duo) and told him, not asked, that you were going to hang out with them after the show. I did, we still call each other. I have his number in my phone, he's studying to be a doctor. Von Foil works for MPS, he is a child psychologist, he parties harder than anyone I have ever met, 7 nights a week. He is one of the most beloved and prolific djs I have ever met. And all he asks for a night to play is $200 dollars. These feeling and emotions are so precious to me. That is what bearing witness is, it is being present. It is being there. It is sharing a moment with a room full of people all dancing to the same tune, or talking to a world famous dj about his dreams of being a surgeon, and then making sure he calls to let you know he landed safe in Japan. It's the one day you spend finding the individuality in the desire to come together. For that I am proud.
When I reached Milwaukee, I was lost. I knew that The Rave/Eagles Club was a large, often trafficked concert hall, but the lack of dancers, and well known DJs visiting said establishments was close to nil. There was also no places for me to dance. I felt very lost. I began slowly meeting people by a tending the few and far between concerts that i could, going to clubs, herring local top 40s djs and slowly I began to find my people again. These people brought me into the party scene of the city, the behind closed doors, the up and coming music I had never really been privy to. The struggling artists who held down more than one job to support their love of the scene. Those people I began to cling to because they wanted so badly to contribute to the very scene I had been riding along for a living. I was hooked. I began to dance for raves. Small, events thrown by a few djs, a fledgling production company, illegal in some cases, and more fun than anything I had ever known. I was giving back more to the music that had given so much to me. I began organizing, helping to throw, doing the business end of everything in order to have my hand in this. I continue, to this day, and have well established myself as a dancer, designer of rave clothing and a friend to the most talented musicians in the industry. You see, the fact is, the big names ride pom the waves of their success, these people get no recognition, no real pay. I now can truly say I am watching stars rise. I am helping those who want so badly to just play a show so someone hears their talent. This is the sort of witness I am. I am giving whatever I can to now allow for someone else to experience that rush. To let someone pretend that for and evening they are Tiesto, even if they play only to their own friends in a dingy bar in a dingy town.
Because of my desire to bring this experience to others, I not only began making rave wear, I now own a small business doing it. I also have begun to run my own GoGo dancing company. I want to find the next best girl for the job. It is so important for me to be present. I don't need to record, write down, photograph or document these events. I have found that this world is about each personal momentary experience. There is no way to capture emotion in a bottle. Music is what feelings sound like. and every night we continue to pack our selves into these places because we are chancing that high. I will dance until my knees crumble, and then I will design until the style is old and I can proudly say that I knew Von Foil, Marcus J, Decode, Swamppkatt and other names that you will never see on a bill for The Congress Theatre. But I was there, and that is more than enough. I can only hope to bring more people in, but you can't take anything away from it but the images that play inside your head.
Witness, for EDM, is a split second. And then the memories remain. You can't explain your heart syncing up to a bass beat, sweat forming on your skin as they build up before the drop. You can't explain how you can hug a total stranger, hold them and sing along to "Raise Your Weapon" and leave a concert hall with a new best friend and not know their real name. Or maybe it's the time that you walked up to Theo from Designer Drugs (a NY dj duo) and told him, not asked, that you were going to hang out with them after the show. I did, we still call each other. I have his number in my phone, he's studying to be a doctor. Von Foil works for MPS, he is a child psychologist, he parties harder than anyone I have ever met, 7 nights a week. He is one of the most beloved and prolific djs I have ever met. And all he asks for a night to play is $200 dollars. These feeling and emotions are so precious to me. That is what bearing witness is, it is being present. It is being there. It is sharing a moment with a room full of people all dancing to the same tune, or talking to a world famous dj about his dreams of being a surgeon, and then making sure he calls to let you know he landed safe in Japan. It's the one day you spend finding the individuality in the desire to come together. For that I am proud.
Friday, December 28, 2012
My thoughts on the EDM community and my recent life dancing...Part 1
Through my experiences, I have been to, and seen, many musicians rise and fall with popularity. I have seen the washing in and out of different genres and have met some of the greatest names in the Electronic Dance Music scene. It became important to me to always stay a little ahead of the curve, to try and find a place that expression has always been honored. The one place for me where I cold meld my business oriented mind with my love to creativity and self awareness was through becoming a GoGo dancer in Chicago. While always fighting and clawing from gig to gig, I eventually picked up a job at Spybar, one of the best and most recognized bars int he entire city. having always loved EDM, I had attended concerts for years, always seeing the biggest and brightest shining stars on stage. When working the club industry, you begin to see another side of the industry. The work that goes into putting a show together, hiring talent, performers. I got to see what the smaller names were like, meet the people that strive and actually push the entire industry through. No matter how many concur halls you fill up as a producer or DJ, you, single-handedly, cannot drive the entire genera. the people, the fans, the small time people, they are the ones who push from the bottom, truly supporting the great weight of the industry.
Working at Spybar taught me that. I loved seeing acts like Bingo Players, Deadmau5, Skrillex, the names that are so highly recognized today. I saw many of them before the crashing weight of popularity or pop-recognition took hold. I saw many artists who were one-hit-wonders or who had long since passed their prime and yet still had a following. I decided that no matter what happened to me, i would never abandon this scene and I would cling to it with every fiber of my being. Dancing was my way of giving back to the music that emotionally brought me joy, that through the pilgrimages I often make to shows, concerts, festivals and massives I had found my place and a feeling of belonging that many turn to religion for. I found a place where everyone can embrace their inner child, wear their brightest colors or hide behind a mask. Where there is safety and security in the self, whatever you choose that to be. It's carnivale everyday in EDM, It's halloween and mardi gras. It is your birthday and new years eve. I love that, and by dancing, I performed for these people. I helped to give them the experience of a lifetime, night after night. When I moved to Wisconsin, I feared that I would lose this world I had found, I would lose this connection, and for a time, I did.
To be continued tomorrow.....
Working at Spybar taught me that. I loved seeing acts like Bingo Players, Deadmau5, Skrillex, the names that are so highly recognized today. I saw many of them before the crashing weight of popularity or pop-recognition took hold. I saw many artists who were one-hit-wonders or who had long since passed their prime and yet still had a following. I decided that no matter what happened to me, i would never abandon this scene and I would cling to it with every fiber of my being. Dancing was my way of giving back to the music that emotionally brought me joy, that through the pilgrimages I often make to shows, concerts, festivals and massives I had found my place and a feeling of belonging that many turn to religion for. I found a place where everyone can embrace their inner child, wear their brightest colors or hide behind a mask. Where there is safety and security in the self, whatever you choose that to be. It's carnivale everyday in EDM, It's halloween and mardi gras. It is your birthday and new years eve. I love that, and by dancing, I performed for these people. I helped to give them the experience of a lifetime, night after night. When I moved to Wisconsin, I feared that I would lose this world I had found, I would lose this connection, and for a time, I did.
To be continued tomorrow.....
An interview with GoGo dancers
I feel I should introduce myself with an old interview I did about the basics of GoGo dancing and what it is all about, I can't wait to get more in depth, but this is an awesome icebreaker, I hope to hear some feedback so I can delve further into the beauty and pain of being paid for your looks and the strength and power it requires....
Interview: While girls and guys were asking questions online to us about our hopes for the future and our company, a DJ read them and asked us some of his own questions. It really made me happy to answer them and explain myself, who I am, and what I believe for the future.
What do you plan to do to help go-go dancers gain a more respected image in the scene?
K: Doing things like REQUIRING contracts on ALL jobs. No one may work for free, ever. Not allowing substance use or abuse while working. Making it so that everything is regulated and watched over, Checking up on how girls act when we are not present, helping girls to book good gigs with promoters, djs, event coordinators and other people we know and trust. There will be a whole system in place for safety, security and reliability put into place. I want this to become an opportunity for performers to do just that, perform and get paid, recognized and appreciated for their real talents. Also to support each other and keep the cat-fighting and other catty actions out of the system...basically to BUILD a system here in Milwaukee and bring this out of the dark ages!
P: We are going to be working under signed contracts written for each event. We are not going to work for free (EVER). & Because we don't work for free we will have more awesome and better matching outfits! Also the girls wont be falling off stage trashed because you need to work sober! We are going to revolutionize the way people look at gogo dancers - even if we work underground raves and events like that, we will show up and do our job and be professional. There are too many girls who work for free or work for drugs and thats not a good image.
K: Paige, we share a brain. it's so lovely.
P: I know!
K: Also things like ONLY allowing girls who are of age to work 21+ events. No more back door bartering for gigs. Everything will be LEGAL and by the books!
What about girls who show up to events dressed like go-go's and aren't working?
P: If some random girls want to jump on stage - hopefully the people running the event will realize who the hired girls are and respect that by kicking them off stage. however this will not always be the case. WE are still getting paid no matter what because of the contract so if some silly girl wants to jump on stage and do it for free thats her loss. Personally I think that is offensive and disrespectful of girls to jump on stage when there is obviously hired girls working the gig. Just my opinion.
K: Every event attendee is allowed to dress as they please. That is beyond out control. Things like coming to MY company and having custom made one-of-a-kind rave wear makes a difference. Initiating in things like uniformity with outfits. Girls can wear whatever they want, and I truly support that. I am taking steps like buying PROFESSIONAL go go boots to distinguish myself for those on the floor and who belongs on stage. There is nothing we can do about others personal choices, but we can only make out selves stand out better.t is also HIGHLY dangerous when a girl does that. She can either hurt a professional dancer, or herself. If you have never danced on a 7 foot speaker its terrifying. There will be heightened security of the stage as much as possible. and that will be our job to enforce with the promoters until they understand these things. A fellow dancer and I came up with a phrase the other day to help unite Go Go Dancers, “Off the stage unless you’re paid”. It sounds harsh but actually means a better world for both professional performers and those who want to be. Let me explain: if you wish to join the ranks of performer’s like myself, hopping up on stage at any chance you get is a, dangerous, b, disrespectful and c, damaging. Dangerous because a fall from speakers or a stage (I have danced on 7 foot stacks before) can lead to serious injury. Or if you’re grabbing to get up can cause a performer to fall. it is disrespectful because you are taking the attention away from the dancer who is paid to be there, and more often than not, you need to impress that performer to get hired for a gig. Troops like mine would NEVER consider hiring a girl or guy who was pushing to get up on stage. You wanna show off your moves? talk to promoters, DJs, The dancer’s themselves. Make a video. A website. Start from the bottom like we did before you hop up on stage for free. Which leads me to my last point: It is DAMAGING. As a dancer I live, that’s right, live, pay bills eat and pay for school all on a dancer’s salary. It is not regular since I am not currently a resident dancer anymore and am not getting paid an hourly wage. What I make determines what I eat, how I spend, how well I sleep at night. When you are willing to get up on stage for free or some some ridiculously reduced rate (like getting paid in drugs or liquor) it undercuts the standard for treatment and payment in the industry, making my job harder, making me resentful, making me hate you, making it harder to consider Go Go dancing a legitimate business venture or job. So please, Ladies, Gentlemen, try to go through legitimate means to be able to be seen and dance. because a job well done with respect is worth so much more than the rush of cheers from a bunch of fucked up kids. This is my profession, I am a professional. Please be one to and one day I could hire you.
P: If these things sound good to you, we highly recommend people coming to the tryouts to make sure that you can help hustle in this change for the good of all performers.
This is an amazingly intelligent thread. Good job Kat and Paige. Makes me reflect how many times I get up on stage for free in order to network and further my self. Wish I could always get paid. I make a lot of sacrifices in order to do so, i can only hope one day they pay off (other than the intrinsic value). I totally agree that making sure you are contracted and paid raises the standard for the entire region, forcing promoters to actually have to work, raising the level of competition for musicians so things like pay2play and brostep are a thing of the past.
Interview: While girls and guys were asking questions online to us about our hopes for the future and our company, a DJ read them and asked us some of his own questions. It really made me happy to answer them and explain myself, who I am, and what I believe for the future.
What do you plan to do to help go-go dancers gain a more respected image in the scene?
K: Doing things like REQUIRING contracts on ALL jobs. No one may work for free, ever. Not allowing substance use or abuse while working. Making it so that everything is regulated and watched over, Checking up on how girls act when we are not present, helping girls to book good gigs with promoters, djs, event coordinators and other people we know and trust. There will be a whole system in place for safety, security and reliability put into place. I want this to become an opportunity for performers to do just that, perform and get paid, recognized and appreciated for their real talents. Also to support each other and keep the cat-fighting and other catty actions out of the system...basically to BUILD a system here in Milwaukee and bring this out of the dark ages!
P: We are going to be working under signed contracts written for each event. We are not going to work for free (EVER). & Because we don't work for free we will have more awesome and better matching outfits! Also the girls wont be falling off stage trashed because you need to work sober! We are going to revolutionize the way people look at gogo dancers - even if we work underground raves and events like that, we will show up and do our job and be professional. There are too many girls who work for free or work for drugs and thats not a good image.
K: Paige, we share a brain. it's so lovely.
P: I know!
K: Also things like ONLY allowing girls who are of age to work 21+ events. No more back door bartering for gigs. Everything will be LEGAL and by the books!
What about girls who show up to events dressed like go-go's and aren't working?
P: If some random girls want to jump on stage - hopefully the people running the event will realize who the hired girls are and respect that by kicking them off stage. however this will not always be the case. WE are still getting paid no matter what because of the contract so if some silly girl wants to jump on stage and do it for free thats her loss. Personally I think that is offensive and disrespectful of girls to jump on stage when there is obviously hired girls working the gig. Just my opinion.
K: Every event attendee is allowed to dress as they please. That is beyond out control. Things like coming to MY company and having custom made one-of-a-kind rave wear makes a difference. Initiating in things like uniformity with outfits. Girls can wear whatever they want, and I truly support that. I am taking steps like buying PROFESSIONAL go go boots to distinguish myself for those on the floor and who belongs on stage. There is nothing we can do about others personal choices, but we can only make out selves stand out better.t is also HIGHLY dangerous when a girl does that. She can either hurt a professional dancer, or herself. If you have never danced on a 7 foot speaker its terrifying. There will be heightened security of the stage as much as possible. and that will be our job to enforce with the promoters until they understand these things. A fellow dancer and I came up with a phrase the other day to help unite Go Go Dancers, “Off the stage unless you’re paid”. It sounds harsh but actually means a better world for both professional performers and those who want to be. Let me explain: if you wish to join the ranks of performer’s like myself, hopping up on stage at any chance you get is a, dangerous, b, disrespectful and c, damaging. Dangerous because a fall from speakers or a stage (I have danced on 7 foot stacks before) can lead to serious injury. Or if you’re grabbing to get up can cause a performer to fall. it is disrespectful because you are taking the attention away from the dancer who is paid to be there, and more often than not, you need to impress that performer to get hired for a gig. Troops like mine would NEVER consider hiring a girl or guy who was pushing to get up on stage. You wanna show off your moves? talk to promoters, DJs, The dancer’s themselves. Make a video. A website. Start from the bottom like we did before you hop up on stage for free. Which leads me to my last point: It is DAMAGING. As a dancer I live, that’s right, live, pay bills eat and pay for school all on a dancer’s salary. It is not regular since I am not currently a resident dancer anymore and am not getting paid an hourly wage. What I make determines what I eat, how I spend, how well I sleep at night. When you are willing to get up on stage for free or some some ridiculously reduced rate (like getting paid in drugs or liquor) it undercuts the standard for treatment and payment in the industry, making my job harder, making me resentful, making me hate you, making it harder to consider Go Go dancing a legitimate business venture or job. So please, Ladies, Gentlemen, try to go through legitimate means to be able to be seen and dance. because a job well done with respect is worth so much more than the rush of cheers from a bunch of fucked up kids. This is my profession, I am a professional. Please be one to and one day I could hire you.
P: If these things sound good to you, we highly recommend people coming to the tryouts to make sure that you can help hustle in this change for the good of all performers.
This is an amazingly intelligent thread. Good job Kat and Paige. Makes me reflect how many times I get up on stage for free in order to network and further my self. Wish I could always get paid. I make a lot of sacrifices in order to do so, i can only hope one day they pay off (other than the intrinsic value). I totally agree that making sure you are contracted and paid raises the standard for the entire region, forcing promoters to actually have to work, raising the level of competition for musicians so things like pay2play and brostep are a thing of the past.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
A rebirth!
I've had some time to think about it, and I finally have a fresh, new direction.
I'm going to get a new contributor. Please give her a big welcome when she gets here.
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