I don't want to ...

unfairly group people together, but wrestling fans are freaken morons.

Shouting "WHAT!?" after each draft pick?  Why weren't those idiots beaten to death?!

ARR GEE THREE! ARR GEE THREE!

Colts have confirmed that they're going with Luck, so it's time to sell those Redskins RG3 jerseys!


I just wanted an excuse to post this all-time classic youtube video. "OOOOOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOO!"

At least Gus Frerotte can't spoil this.

Last time the Skins drafted a Heismann winner, he won a Super Bowl!*   Now we're going to get RG3, and it only cost us three firsts and a second rounder.

Man, I can't wait until the Skins get back to a Super Bowl NFC Championship Game Playoffs firing the Shanahans.



* -  For the Packers.

Peyton, just retire.

You got your ring.  You don't need to kill yourself just to try to match your lucky younger brother.

The Saddest Ring

Do you remember the early plot point in Ace Ventura about the AFC/NFC Championship rings?  (The Super Bowl loser gets a runner-up ring.)

I've never seen them before until today.  Look at this thing:

:o(

Then again, I do like this one:

Thurman Thomas probably lost this.

By the way, kiss Rex Grossman's ring:

Speaking of Rex Grossman, kiss Peyton Manning's other ring:

Greatest Pick-six Of All Time

The rings can be found here.

Brandon Jacobs

Ooooh, big man going after the little model woman.  Who was clearly A) emotional, B) defensive, C) being heckled by jerks.

I think he's already apologized but this is such a non-story.  Just like Super Bowl 46!

Sports media sucks.  All media sucks.*  Wake me up when the adults are in charge of things.

(Oh, and we only have 8 more months until the NFL is back.)



* -   Except my blog, of course.

The Pro Bowl

If Cam Newton's OK with it, than so am I.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!

Ravens lose the AFC Championship Game!

About that guy whose last name rhymes with "eeee o"

Christianity will survive him (and his team, remember?) losing on Saturday.  It's just football. 

My biggest fear about the whole thing was that people were just building him up.  Well, he's a person.  People fail.  And the last thing Christians should do is bet their faith on the outcome of a sports game. 

This whole thing just morphed into identity politics.  "So-and-so shares my beliefs, and if so-and-so triumphs, that validates me!"  Well one thing I've learned about human nature is that people who become disillusion about their beliefs don't seek more moderate beliefs.  They will seek the opposition.  I flipped through ESPN and they showed some kid talking about how that guy inspired him.  I just cringed at the idea of the kid losing faith when he realized that that guy can't throw a football properly.

That guy is most likely a great role model, but he's a crummy quarterback.   We need less cults of personalities, and Christianity already has a Messiah.


Another problem with the whole thing is the pop-song effect. Yeah, not everybody likes that new song you like.  It may be fresh to you, but someone else could already be sick of it. 



On the other side of the issue:  "LOL, people who take their faith seriously!  What a bunch of mooks!" 

You know, we pick our enemies.  That's your enemy, huh? 

Dear NFL,

Please don't give us a Harbaugh Super Bowl.  Not interested in that.

Dear Saints,

Please beat the 49ers this week so we can have a shoot-out NFC Championship game, followed by a shoot-out Super Bowl with the Patriots.

If not, I hope we get a Texans/49ers Super Bowl.  .... BWAHAHAHA!!!!  Alex Smith in a Super Bowl?  HAW!

Well, crap then.

Dan Orlovsky* may have cost the Colts Andrew Luck.

Huh.

Well, I think we all know what this means.

Dan Orlovsky with Rex Grossman as a backup.  I'm already prepared for it.



* And the refs.

Tork Blog Athlete of the Day!

Congrats, Dan, on getting a win!  You're not an idiot.  You could play on my team any week!

(Except the Redskins when they've long eliminated themselves from the bottom five draft picks.)

You have one more win under your belt than John Beck.  And if you win another game, you'll tie the legendary Chris Weinke.

The Washington Redskins Football Team

Just get it over with and hire Rypien's daughter to QB your team.  

(By the way, how does this league even work?  I can only imagine the fans showing up to the games wearing trenchcoats.)

Kiss...Marty Schottenheimer's...Ring

Marty Schottenheimer finally won a championship game in a pro football league.  Oh sure, the UFL may not be the NFL, and it may have just cut its season from 6 games to 4, and it's in millions of dollars of debt...


The important thing is that the Virginia Destroyers are the UFL champs, and Marty has a ring.  (This league does give rings, right?)

Marty got a ring before Snyder or the Chargers.  Haw!

New Name

Fun fact:  Women ovulate whenever I hit the "publish post" button. 

Tork takes another small step into the 21st Century.

Today I bought a new television.  It's HDTV!  It's a 32"er. 

The Wii looks great on it, and that's just a SD console.  Can't wait to see what the Wii U (or 360 or PS3) looks like on it.  Right now I can only seem to get 480i channels on it but I'll figure that out how to get 720p before football season starts.

All my contributors are invited to see it!

No fair!

You can't bring the NFL back!  What about us Redskins fans?  You think we want to watch THAT?!?  And it looks like we'll have big competition with the Bengals for Andrew Luck.  Ugh.

On the plus side, the NFL coming back will always bug the right people, so I can't hate it.

Behave, American CFL fans.

Look at their slogan.  It's their league.  Not yours.

Canadian Football is back!

CFL preseason started this week.  It's about time.  I needed some football after hockey let me down again.  (Oh, and I guess there was basketball or something.)

I don't really have a CFL team.   I guess I'll pick a team in my time zone.  I'm thinking Ottawa Roughriders when that team comes into being.  I mean, it's the capital of the country, and it's new for people just jumping into the sport.  But for now, I guess I'll go for the Montreal Alouettes.  Dumb name, but the poor franchise was dumped by Baltimore after it stole the Browns.  Stupid arrogant Baltimore.

Of course, the CFL is really just a warm up for an American football league.  You know the one I'm talking about.  That's right!

Go Virginia Destroyers!