The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 3: Chapter 3

Welcome back!

Previously on the Bumblefudge Legacy, Onil moved out of Bumblefudge Manor and into Bumblefudge Cottage where he attempted to pitch some woo at his future bride to be, Joann. It mostly went ok, except she wouldn't stop crying.


Now it's the next day and Joann is back on Onil's doorstep waiting for him to invite her inside again. Hopefully today's wooing will involve fewer tears.


I have no idea what this pose is supposed to be. Maybe Onil thinks it makes him look rugged and dynamic. Joann, for her part, mostly refuses to come any farther inside than the white tile portion of the entryway.


Yesterday Onil's attempts to win Joann's love mostly involved telling stupid jokes. Today we'll let the two of them actually talk to each other and see how it goes.


Well! What a delightful thing to learn! See where talking gets you? And he learned that from a comment about a tombstone, no less.


Onil decides the talking is a bust and goes in for a hug. Joan gamely allows her face to be enveloped by his pillowy hair.


Whatever you're doing, stop it.


Onil is a grumpy Sim and grumpy Sims don't like to compliment people, but I make him tell Joann she's pretty, anyway.


First kiss achieved!


And now they are going steady!


The message center interrupts this seduction to bring us this important message. BOG and Andrea are out of debt! I knew they could do it!


This, however, is bad news. Onil's little brother Alastair is falling in with the wrong crowd!

And now back to the smoochyfaces, still in progress.


Whenever your Sim is interacting with any other Sim, this little info dealy shows up in the upper left hand corner to tell you how the other Sim feels about the whole thing. When you're trying to get some romance going, the two key words you want to show up there are "extremely irresistible." That's when you know the target Sim can be easily convinced to do something dumb, like sleep with or marry your Sim.


See? Look! She's only known Onil for a couple of days, yet she is powerless to resist!


And because laggy parties can bite me, I force the new couple to wed immediately.

Now let's find out a little bit more about Joann, shall we?


Her lifetime want, as shown by the gold star under her portrait, is to be the CEO of some big company. Her traits are couch potato (like Onil!), excitable, frugal, loves the outdoors, and snob. Not bad at all.

She has no skills at all, but she does have a job in business, which is nice since that's where her lifetime want lies. Of course, she's only in an entry level position, and I could have done that, but still. It's nice.



The next day, I send the newlyweds out to a nearby park. I want Joann to meet people and work on her charisma (a key skill to master on the business career track). Onil is a huge chess nerd, so I want him to play some chess matches and maybe get some logic while he's at it.


The first new Sim to show up is a little kid, but that's ok. Still helps the skill.


Onil did not tell me he needed to pee before he left the house. This might work in his favor, though. That's his chess opponent right behind him. Maybe she will find it intimidating and unnerving if he pees all over her during the match.


Onil! I said during the match! DURING!

You can see his opponent walking away in the distance, flipping Onil the bird as she goes. Not a great way to strike fear in the hearts of the Chess Tournament crowd.

I send Onil home to clean up.

What's that, Message Center? Did something happen?

Oh no! Dedric "Mountain" Broke-Beck tried to mug Onil's Uncle Hero! Luckily, Hero is so awesome that he totally beat the shit out of Mountain in a defeat so humiliating that Alastair saw the light and renounced petty thuggery forever.

I love this Story driver, I really do.



While this was going on, Joann chatted with this guy. I don't know his name. I thought he might be town Cassanova and that Onil's new marriage might be in trouble already, but it turns out this guy is not the Cassanova at all, just some guy with similarly dumb hair.

So... yeah.

A new feature with the Ambitions expansion is the ability to do laundry. Considering Onil's weak bladder, I figure getting a washer and dryer might not be a bad idea. This house is small, however, and there's not much room for extra heavy appliances.

Basements are crazy inexpensive to build now that there's a special tool for them, however, so here's the new basement laundry room, floating in a scary black void. I can't actually afford a washer or dryer yet, but it'll come soon.


And here's how it looks from ground level! I'll put some kind of enclosure or something around the stairs sometime, but in the meantime it'll just have to look dumb like this. That's how it goes.

And on that exciting note, I leave you.

Until next time, take care!

The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 3: Chapter 2

Welcome back,
Your dreams were your ticket out.

Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.

Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)

Yeah we tease you a lot cause we've got you on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

Awwww, yeah, I'm back with my Legacy, babies! Did you miss me? Tough.

So where have I been all this time? Eh. I don't know. Hanging around. Game got really slow. Maybe I need to put more memory in the computer or something, I don't know.

So why am I back now?

EA put out a new Sims 3 expansion pack that I couldn't resist! Ambitions! Sims with jobs! Way more interesting than Sims on vacation! I also heard some random person comment that they thought maybe their game loads faster with Ambitions, and that was enough for me. I bought it and here we are.

I've played it a little bit. Not enough to have experienced much of the new stuff, yet. Game is pretty slow.

So let's get started!


Here's our current heir, the lovely and beautiful Onil Bumblefudge, eating some waffles at three in the morning. Why is he up so late/early? No idea. It's been months since I played this thing. It occurs to me that you might not remember anybody either, so I'll wait until morning and give you a cast list.


Onil lives in Bumblefudge Manor with his mother, Andrea.


Also present is former heir and Onil's father, the impossible to photograph BOG Bumblefudge.


Here are Onil's younger brothers, Alastair (front) and Rambo (back, pantsless).


Onil's uncle Hero lives elsewhere with his husband, but still checks in via info bubble from time to time. Looks like my story driver has declared him Town Nerd! Congrats, Hero!


Here he is now, leaving his place of work. Rocky cowers in the background because... well, mainly because he's a coward and that's what cowards do.


Evil Aunt Angie died offscreen, leaving everybody a sizeable inheritance. It's the only helpful thing she ever did.



So! Back to our heir! The childfaced, maidenhaired Onil is chatting online before he has to go to work. That's a portrait of his sainted grandmother and original heir, wurwolf, on the wall behind his head there.


And now Onil is back from work, wondering why I told him to get his phone out. Why, Onil? Because it took me like three real-time hours just to get through your one work day. I can't take this lag anymore. You are moving out. Hopefully a smaller lot with fewer people will make this game go faster.

Maybe one day we can return the legacy to Bumblefudge Manor, but in the meantime, off you go.


I hope you had a chance to say goodbye to all those people I just reintroduced you to. No? Oh well.



I have relinquished control of Bumblefudge Manor for about five seconds before the Story finds elderly devoted housewife Andrea a job. Ugh.

Whatever, Story, do what you want. I'm moving beyond these people.

In other news, Super Nerds get to have peons. Who knew? I bet Tork is reading this wondering when people were planning to tell him about this.


Here we are in the nicest home I could afford with the Bumblefudge family's available assets, Bumblefudge Cottage. It's small, but pretty. Overall, it's not bad.

As you can see from the plumbbob, Onil is tired and cranky from the long drive. And the long standing around on the lawn of Bumblefudge Manor for a few hours waiting for the lag to catch up. Hopefully things move faster now.


First look at the inside. The place is mostly unfurnished, except for the (fridgeless) kitchen and the bathroom. Fortunately, Onil brought some of his own stuff from the Manor and will be able to find a place to sit and to sleep tonight.


No fridge, though, and no cooking skills even if he had one. It's late, so I let Onil order pizza tonight. He does not let the poor pizza girl leave without bitching at her about how sleepy he is.


Plenty of open counter space in the kitchen, not to mention an open desk in the study. Where does Onil dump his pizza? Bathroom. Of course.


He disappoints me by not eating his pizza on the toilet, however.

Onil enjoys his first meal in his new home and then scoots off to bed.


I have no idea what the hell happened in that first info box, but am amused by it, nonetheless.

I'm less amused by the second info box, but I guess this is what happens to you when your eldest son runs off with all your money leaving you without a Simoleon to your name. I'm sure it'll be fine, though. BOG is a rockstar and Andrea has a job, and the game found jobs for Alastair and Rambo as well. They should have a few bucks soon enough.


In the previous chapter, oh so long ago, I introduced Sim Onil to several eligible(ish) neighborhood women and asked his IRL wife wurwolf to pick one out. She did just that, and now it's time to meet Joann "Mystery Date" Watson-Traylor.

Joann is Onil's new fiance, though she doesn't know it yet. She's also a teen, which is more than a little bit creepy. It's a fixable problem, though, just hold tight.


The second she comes into Onil's Pedo Palace, she starts crying about some old lady who died. Probably it's her sainted mother who always told her not to enter the homes of creepy older men with long flaxen locks or something like that, who knows.


Anyway, on with the seduction (barf). Obviously I'm not going to throw any flirts her way yet. Even if I did have the proper hacks enabled to make that possible (I don't), it would be super gross. Instead, I have Onil tell Joann lots of jokes. He's a funny guy with the funny trait, so no attempt he ever makes at humor falls flat. Here he's just done that "There's something on your shirt" nose flick thing... and she's laughing! Nobody laughs at that stupid joke! This humorous trait is magic!


Soon the ick-factor becomes unbearable, so I declare it Joann's birthday and buy her a cake. She is now Onil's age!


And although there is birthday cake on the counter, she makes herself at home and raids his fridge for pizza. (Oh yeah, I bought him a fridge.)


Now that Joann is in Onil's age range, I feel comfortable letting him flirt with her a little bit. She responds positively, but it's still too early to push for anything serious.

We'll leave it here for now. Next time, we'll try to make this friendship a marriage! Everybody's happy! Hooray! Take care!

The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 3: Chapter 1

I have a paper due tomorrow morning, so I guess it's as good a time as any to throw up another one of these things.

Welcome back!


The new head of the Bumblefudge family is Onil. His first act as an adult is to go to town and get himself a job.


It is a job for which he is almost entirely unsuited in every way, but RL Onil once told me that he wanted his Sim Self to be a cop and wear a cool black trench coat, so there it is.

(To be honest, the trench coat I downloaded is not at all cool, but there is only so much I can do.)


Sim Onil, you may remember, wants to be the best at chess. He just invited this guy over for his first ever chess challenge. They make with some small talk to break the ice, then Onil goes inside to pee, since I don't think Onil's pissing all over himself during the match will incite just the right note of terror in his opponent.


What-- Hey! You jerk! You JERK! You will pay for this! Prepare for humiliation!


Beat him, Onil! Kick his ass! Restore the family honor!


Something about the look on Onil's face tells me that he did not restore the family honor.

Rematch, Onil! Right now! Do not let this buttface leave until you have destroyed him!

Victory is ours!

Wow, this whole chess thing is boring. I don't see myself completing this lifetime want.

Let's invite some chicks over.



Before I do that, though, here's some boring exposition. Before we started this Legacy, I promised RL wurwolf I'd let her pick Sim Onil's future Sim spouse. In return, she agreed to get those lawyers she works with and sic them on Tork since he promised me a million dollars and has yet to give me a dime.

I AM KEEPING UP MY END, WURWOLF.

So I got Onil that reward where everybody he invites to a party has to show up no matter what, and the party is always a success even if he takes a dump on the birthday cake (which I realize may be a plus in some circles of the Internet). Then I invited over every girl Onil knows who is a teen or young adult.

Having lots of people in one place makes the game lag like crazy, so don't expect a detailed personality report here. I mainly had to point the camera on real-estate with no Sims in it to keep things moving.


I made everybody dress in formal wear, since I want these women to put their best feet forward. Our first bachelorette is Josephine Jones. She likes the decor, I guess.

The next bachelorette was Joann Watson-Traylor, who I could have sworn I took a picture of. Can't find it now, though. My notes say that she wears a flower in her hair and a long leather skirt. Not too helpful. I don't remember what her face was like, but it wasn't unusually pretty or ugly.

The third guest to arrive was Brandy Ray. Now, I don't know if he's a party crasher or if his girly name and hair fooled me at the invite panel, but here he is. And since boys can't have babies with boys, he's not in the running for Onil's spouse. Sorry, Brandy.


Now I KNOW I took another picture of the chick featured here, but it's gone now. Stupid lag! She'll turn around in a second, though, and then you'll see her.

Don't know what Brandy's problem with Josephine is. Maybe he's jealous that she has a better shot at Onil than he does.

The girl on the left is Karyn Ray-Durant. I suspect she might be Brandy's sister or something. Nice bitchface, Karyn.



It's Andrea's birthday today. Look at her face. It's so sad when they know just how much the transition is about to suck.

Well, it's not great, but by the standards of this game it's not bad. Just look at what the game did to poor wurwolf.

She'll still need a makeover, naturally. The game was too laggy with the party going on to do it right away, though. You'll see it in the next update.


You can see Joann "Mystery Date" Watson's back here. The old lady in the background was not invited but came anyway. Old ladies can't have babies, so she is not in the running to be Onil's wife.

This sullen Asian-looking chick I forgot I invited is Brittany Bellamy.

You may recall that BOG's birthday is the same as Andrea's. He's aging up right now! I won't capture the sparkles, though, because the game is so slow. Yay!


Lookin' good, Grandpa. He too will be getting a makeover, but you won't see it in this update.

His first want as an oldster is to retire. I will grant this wish, but not until he hits the top rung of his career ladder.

Brittany is working on homework. PAAAARRRRTYYYY!!!!!!


So! wurwolf! Who do you wish Onil to marry? Josephine "Hair Poof" Johns? Joann "Mystery Date" Watson-Traylor? Karyn "Bitchface" Roy-Durant? Brittany "The Asian" Bellamy? Pick one and I will do my best to hook her up with Onil. I reserve the right to go after somebody else, though, if the #1 pick turns out to be married or something, so you might also want to pick a #2.

That's it for now!

Take care.