Finally, a candidate I can endorse.

Go SMOD! 

The Pro Bowl

If Cam Newton's OK with it, than so am I.

Twenty Year Anniversary

Twenty years since our last Super Bowl appearance.  Heck, twenty years since our last conference championship appearance.  We've only been the playoffs four times since, and three of those trips ended in the divisional round.  We have one division title since then, and none since realignment.

Oh well, back to a Patriots/Giants rematch.  (Still better than a Harbaugh Bowl.)

99 Red Balloons

Floating in the summer sky
If one of those balloons happen to pop
98 Red Balloons go by

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!

Ravens lose the AFC Championship Game!

Manos the HD of Fate

Manos on Blu-Ray?  Yes, please.

I could do that.

But I'd probably die.

I'm talking about a contest by FOX to watch 86+ straight hours of The Simpsons.  I could do it if I wasn't worried of my heart exploding on me. 

To view the contest I was looking through the latest version of The Simpsons website.  Do you remember what it was like during 2000?  FOX had just released some episodes on VHS (FRIGGEN EXPENSIVE, TOO!  Not that I'm bitter.) and dubbed the tenth year of the show as fandemonium or something.  I think there was a donut on the front page or something.  It had a forum, but oh boy was I not going to join that.  Phew. 

Anyway, it has a few episodes from the current season, which is cool, but should I point out that South Park, for example, hosts all their episodes on their website?  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does this sound like the actions of a website for a fan whose had ALL he could watch?   (That made sense in my head.)

I was looking through its character section.  The short paragraphs for each character are accurate for the first few seasons.  Which goes to show what happens when your series lasts 25 years.  (Please, let me see the series finale.)  And Martin Prince is NOT that important a character.  Non-fans would be confused by that section.

This post is over.  Go home.

About SOPA

As someone who opposed PPACA, let me just say:  You SOPA opponents are all a bunch of racists and you deserve to be physically harmed for opposing such an awesome law. 

There, see how you like it.



Also, what if wiki shut down and nobody cared?

God help me.

I'm going to buy three iRiffs tonight.  Boy, does funemployment give you a lot of free time.

I hope Weird Al fans are as funny as he is.

About that guy whose last name rhymes with "eeee o"

Christianity will survive him (and his team, remember?) losing on Saturday.  It's just football. 

My biggest fear about the whole thing was that people were just building him up.  Well, he's a person.  People fail.  And the last thing Christians should do is bet their faith on the outcome of a sports game. 

This whole thing just morphed into identity politics.  "So-and-so shares my beliefs, and if so-and-so triumphs, that validates me!"  Well one thing I've learned about human nature is that people who become disillusion about their beliefs don't seek more moderate beliefs.  They will seek the opposition.  I flipped through ESPN and they showed some kid talking about how that guy inspired him.  I just cringed at the idea of the kid losing faith when he realized that that guy can't throw a football properly.

That guy is most likely a great role model, but he's a crummy quarterback.   We need less cults of personalities, and Christianity already has a Messiah.


Another problem with the whole thing is the pop-song effect. Yeah, not everybody likes that new song you like.  It may be fresh to you, but someone else could already be sick of it. 



On the other side of the issue:  "LOL, people who take their faith seriously!  What a bunch of mooks!" 

You know, we pick our enemies.  That's your enemy, huh? 

Dear NFL,

Please don't give us a Harbaugh Super Bowl.  Not interested in that.

Dear Saints,

Please beat the 49ers this week so we can have a shoot-out NFC Championship game, followed by a shoot-out Super Bowl with the Patriots.

If not, I hope we get a Texans/49ers Super Bowl.  .... BWAHAHAHA!!!!  Alex Smith in a Super Bowl?  HAW!

I just realized

that my first post of not-2012 was about a kinda gross product.

Boy, am I off to a good start.  Is it 2013 yet?  (Of course it is!  Wheee!)

Tork Blog Person of the Year for 2011

And the winner is.....Tad Tadlock!




Congratulations!


Runner up:  Ed Boon, for Mortal Kombat 9, a game that almost makes me want to squeal like a fan girl.

They'll Never Stop the Simpsons

I honestly haven't been watching the Simpsons that much since the season after they released the movie.  I did watch a couple episodes this year.  (This being the show's twenty-third year.  Yeesh, haven't you made enough money off non-enviromentally friendy action figures, Matt?)  The last episode, Holidays of Future Passed, would actually make a decent Series Finale.  (Poor Lisa, though.  Nobody deserves Milhouse.)

So anyway, the next episode is called Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson.  Hurray, I haven't cringed this hard at a premise since season 16 where they were making fun of the Janet Jackson Super Bowl thing.

Remember when there was this guy who had a show, and one day he said something really controversial.  And by controversial, I mean ----ing stupid.  And now he plays off his edginess by going on his HBO show and telling people what they want to hear?  ("Those people we don't like are totally dumb!")  Thanks for reminding us about that troll, jerks.

Actually, now that I think of it, it'd be a better episode if it took shots at political comedians than at dumb cable news op-ed shows.  A Jon Stewart is probably worth 10 Keith Olbermanns (before he flamed out.)  So yeah, that Bill O'Reilly is a bit of a blowhard, huh?  That Glen Beck sure is crazy, huh?  Anyway, Homer's show gets popular and he becomes the spokesman of the Gravy Movement....Ugh.  Let's just call this episode Sideshow Bob Roberts mixed with the Homer half of Today I am a Clown and move on.


After that is The D'oh-cial Network.  Way to keep up with the times, Simpsons' staff!  Admittedly I just got into twitter this last year, but I'm hoping Facebook is just a fad.  Warning:  Lisa episode.  Also Patty and Selma do a thing? 


The following episode is Moe Goes From Rags To Riches.  Hey, Moe is a good character.  I assume.  They haven't ruined him, have they?  Jeremy's Iron guess stars as a dish rag that takes Moe through time.  And, I don't know, maybe they have a crazy wedding where do do do do do... I guess they're still working on this episode.


The five hundredths episode of the show is At Long Last Leave.   Hey, Simpsons' writers?  These "Haw, we've been on the air for too long!" jokes were cute back in the eighth season.  Now?  Yeah, we're not laughing with you.  In fact, you know how for years we kind of laughed with you when you took shots at FOX and Rupert Murdock?  Now some of us are old enough to realize that he gets rich off the show either way.


Oh, and they're going to have a Lady Gaga episode.  Super.


Oh well, I'll at least watch the latter two episodes.

Oh wait, did they ever reveal what happened to Ned and Edna?  That episode wasn't bad, if you ignore the dumb final 30 second cliffhanger thing.  I guess I should have watched the episodes when they popped up on Hulu.  Then again, I should be able to give only as much effort as the show gives.

Holy crap!

Pizza Prints! 

It's like eating your favorite team.  (Warning, loud ad plays without your permission.)

Move over Papa Johns*.  Move over Little Caesar**.  I'm getting me some Pizza Prints.



* -  The Official Pizza of the Washington Redskins!

** - The Official Pizza of the 110 household.