Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back,
To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease you a lot cause we've got you on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
Awwww, yeah, I'm back with my Legacy, babies! Did you miss me? Tough.
So where have I been all this time? Eh. I don't know. Hanging around. Game got really slow. Maybe I need to put more memory in the computer or something, I don't know.
So why am I back now?
EA put out a new Sims 3 expansion pack that I couldn't resist! Ambitions! Sims with jobs! Way more interesting than Sims on vacation! I also heard some random person comment that they thought maybe their game loads faster with Ambitions, and that was enough for me. I bought it and here we are.
I've played it a little bit. Not enough to have experienced much of the new stuff, yet. Game is pretty slow.
So let's get started!
Here's our current heir, the lovely and beautiful Onil Bumblefudge, eating some waffles at three in the morning. Why is he up so late/early? No idea. It's been months since I played this thing. It occurs to me that you might not remember anybody either, so I'll wait until morning and give you a cast list.
Onil lives in Bumblefudge Manor with his mother, Andrea.
Also present is former heir and Onil's father, the impossible to photograph BOG Bumblefudge.
Here are Onil's younger brothers, Alastair (front) and Rambo (back, pantsless).
Onil's uncle Hero lives elsewhere with his husband, but still checks in via info bubble from time to time. Looks like my story driver has declared him Town Nerd! Congrats, Hero!
Here he is now, leaving his place of work. Rocky cowers in the background because... well, mainly because he's a coward and that's what cowards do.
Evil Aunt Angie died offscreen, leaving everybody a sizeable inheritance. It's the only helpful thing she ever did.
So! Back to our heir! The childfaced, maidenhaired Onil is chatting online before he has to go to work. That's a portrait of his sainted grandmother and original heir, wurwolf, on the wall behind his head there.
And now Onil is back from work, wondering why I told him to get his phone out. Why, Onil? Because it took me like three real-time hours just to get through your one work day. I can't take this lag anymore. You are moving out. Hopefully a smaller lot with fewer people will make this game go faster.
Maybe one day we can return the legacy to Bumblefudge Manor, but in the meantime, off you go.
I hope you had a chance to say goodbye to all those people I just reintroduced you to. No? Oh well.
I have relinquished control of Bumblefudge Manor for about five seconds before the Story finds elderly devoted housewife Andrea a job. Ugh.
Whatever, Story, do what you want. I'm moving beyond these people.
In other news, Super Nerds get to have peons. Who knew? I bet Tork is reading this wondering when people were planning to tell him about this.
Here we are in the nicest home I could afford with the Bumblefudge family's available assets, Bumblefudge Cottage. It's small, but pretty. Overall, it's not bad.
As you can see from the plumbbob, Onil is tired and cranky from the long drive. And the long standing around on the lawn of Bumblefudge Manor for a few hours waiting for the lag to catch up. Hopefully things move faster now.
First look at the inside. The place is mostly unfurnished, except for the (fridgeless) kitchen and the bathroom. Fortunately, Onil brought some of his own stuff from the Manor and will be able to find a place to sit and to sleep tonight.
No fridge, though, and no cooking skills even if he had one. It's late, so I let Onil order pizza tonight. He does not let the poor pizza girl leave without bitching at her about how sleepy he is.
Plenty of open counter space in the kitchen, not to mention an open desk in the study. Where does Onil dump his pizza? Bathroom. Of course.
He disappoints me by not eating his pizza on the toilet, however.
Onil enjoys his first meal in his new home and then scoots off to bed.
I have no idea what the hell happened in that first info box, but am amused by it, nonetheless.
I'm less amused by the second info box, but I guess this is what happens to you when your eldest son runs off with all your money leaving you without a Simoleon to your name. I'm sure it'll be fine, though. BOG is a rockstar and Andrea has a job, and the game found jobs for Alastair and Rambo as well. They should have a few bucks soon enough.
In the previous chapter, oh so long ago, I introduced Sim Onil to several eligible(ish) neighborhood women and asked his IRL wife wurwolf to pick one out. She did just that, and now it's time to meet Joann "Mystery Date" Watson-Traylor.
Joann is Onil's new fiance, though she doesn't know it yet. She's also a teen, which is more than a little bit creepy. It's a fixable problem, though, just hold tight.
The second she comes into Onil's Pedo Palace, she starts crying about some old lady who died. Probably it's her sainted mother who always told her not to enter the homes of creepy older men with long flaxen locks or something like that, who knows.
Anyway, on with the seduction (barf). Obviously I'm not going to throw any flirts her way yet. Even if I did have the proper hacks enabled to make that possible (I don't), it would be super gross. Instead, I have Onil tell Joann lots of jokes. He's a funny guy with the funny trait, so no attempt he ever makes at humor falls flat. Here he's just done that "There's something on your shirt" nose flick thing... and she's laughing! Nobody laughs at that stupid joke! This humorous trait is magic!
Soon the ick-factor becomes unbearable, so I declare it Joann's birthday and buy her a cake. She is now Onil's age!
And although there is birthday cake on the counter, she makes herself at home and raids his fridge for pizza. (Oh yeah, I bought him a fridge.)
Now that Joann is in Onil's age range, I feel comfortable letting him flirt with her a little bit. She responds positively, but it's still too early to push for anything serious.
We'll leave it here for now. Next time, we'll try to make this friendship a marriage! Everybody's happy! Hooray! Take care!
