Music Video #98 (Day 7 of 2010)

Today's video is dedicated to Maila Nurmi. It's Vampira by The Devin Townsend Band.



Hey look, heavy metal. Is it me, or is heavy metal hard purer than most genre? I mean, it's hard to deviate from "Hail Satan and screw what your parents say!" It's not like you'll hear "Jesus EFFING Rocks!; DON'T Go To Hell!" in church.

This song is called Vampira but it's really about our lead singer dressed in a devil costume. We start at the outside of a graveyard with a full moon. We see a quick evil letter flash on the moon. Is this a subliminal message from the Devil!? We're introduced to the band name and the song's title, the latter bleeding like a cheesy movie. Bats take us to a spot in the cemetery where our lead singer begins.

As he sings, we cut to a comic book which shows several different clips from the graveyard. It even has yellow boxes that describe Vampira, who we see in one of the panels. She does one of those Sixties dance deals. (That's as far as my knowledge of dancing goes.) Devil guy sings about how he feels sad when she's gone and he needs the strength to go on. Awwww, it's a regular love story dressed up in red pajamas!

Devil guy flashes several devil signs to remind us that he's a devil. And a heavy metal guy. Vampira points to him from another panel. She doesn't have much to do in this video besides look crazy. Meanwhile devil guy has himself a band thanks to some skeleton guys. Take that, Disney! Again, he sings about how the darkness comes while his gal is away. Oh, don't be so insecure. He sings about how his mind is now full of hate, but I think he really means jealousy or something like that. We see Vampira grow bat wings because she needs them for her deviant art account. He finally commands his girlfriend to kneel for him. I think he's coming on too strong but maybe it's just different for heavy metal...ers.

Oh, you dork. Now he's dancing in the graveyard. Why can't we have more enjoyable vampire films like this? He repeats how he feels with his gal leaves him, this time making it sound more intense. He dances around more while repeating the line about hate being his co-conspirator. (This goofiness makes me think of any one on the Internet who can't take criticism.) The video ends with everyone rocking out and a final look at the comic book pages. We're reminded that Vampira still walks the earth and causes madness. Just like any woman! Har!








While this genre isn't really my thing, the singer has a goofy charm to him. He taught me that even demons suffer from heart ache.

I'm glad they didn't try to make Vampira too sexy. I don't understand the pointy teeth/crazed look fetish.

The awesome part is whenever the singer would just dance. It sells the video.

Music Video #97 (Day 6 of 2010)

Today's video, and not yesterday's video, is by Massive Attack. It is entitled Teardrop. Pffft, I can survive a teardrop.





I see where they were going with this video. I just don't think they got there.

We start in a dark, wet place. The walls look organic and there's some kind of...cord? Wait is this what I think it is? Before long, a tiny hand confirmed what I thought I was looking at. We're inside a womb looking at a cgi baby. Specks of womb debris float around, and the video at time treats it like snow flakes.

The music starts and we get to problem number one. I just can't understand the singer. After, "Love, love" I can't understand a word she says. The first time I watched the video I just tuned the lyrics out. It was the only way I could make the first go. She's singing very lovingly, I guess.

Love, to her, is a verb. True, but it can also be a noun. Oh, I should shut up. It's a verb to her because it's an action. And boy is she not afraid to say it! At least that's what I'm sure "fearless on my breath" means.

Actually, looking at the lyrics now I can see that they are meant to be poetic because I can't figure them out. "Teardrop on fire", "Most faithful mirror", "Nine night of matter" are all great examples. From the way she sings the song, I'm sure it all means, "lovey dovey wuvey loviness."

The womb lights up a bit as the baby opens its eyes. Do babies really do that? I can't even open my eyes in a pool. At this point we come to my second problem with this video. The baby sometimes sings to the song. I'm sure the video makers thought that this would be cute, and maybe deep or touching, but it just doesn't work. The uncanny valley hurts here.

Now we get a shot of the baby just chilling. Suddenly the lights go on and I guess it's about to drop some phat beats. We look downward at the source of the light. I guess it's showtime for the baby. Or not. The light goes off and we get more singing. The baby sings in the darkness which is suppose to be poignent or thought provoking or whatever the lyrics are going for. After the baby starts to look nervous we get more light, and the baby reacts. This time it looks like someone is shooting fireworks outside. So it's time for bir...or not. Huh. I guess it's a tough job being an unborn baby. Time for a nap, I guess.




I guess this song is sweet but I found the execution lacking. Also, the way the singer would sing high notes on the wrong syllables annoyed me. I'll have to give this song a thumbs down.

The awesome thing is when the baby looks like it's about to start air drumming.

Music Video #96 (Day 5 of 2010)

Today's music video is St. Vincent. It is Jesus Saves, I Spend. Wait, what?

Ok, this is going to be an interesting video.





We start with St. Vincent (I assume that's what she goes by and it's not a band name) walking down a street. She walks up to a door and inside there are a few kids sleeping on the floor. They awake to see the door (doors now?) part and we see St. Vincent enter. St., huh? Is it too early to detect a messianic streak? She sings that while Jesus saves people, she spends not money, but her time doing stuff in the background. Said background has quotes of famous saints on them. The kids run up and give her a hug. We see someone set up lights and she takes off her coat to sing the next part. Not to be mean, but while she's not unattractive, there's something ...off about her. Like she's too skinny and it's causing a bug-eyed effect. File that under, "Just an observation."

She sings that while other's are having a darn good time on Christmas, she's just alone with "another absentee." Who's that? Come on, song. Help me out. I'm kind of slow with musical lyrics. Is it the devil? Nah, the video sets her up as a positive thing. Anyway, it turns out that the kids she hangs out with are boy scouts. One of the poor guys is stuck in a tied up sleeping bag. Look out for mutant bears. The scouts start dragging lights around and they also drag the poor sleeping bag kid. One of the kids makes a fire. One of them prays on a rock. One of them is indoors and thinking about a suddenly appearing sandwich. He wins a patch for a "mind sandwich." Say, they didn't mention mind sandwiches when they tried pitching the boy scouts to me. The lady sings about while other people sit on their duffs watching tv and drinking beer, she spends her time sculpting art. At least that's what I gather from the second verse.

More badges are handed out. Sleeping bag kids gets one for escape. Another kid gets one for eating books. Add boy scouts to things people will now bitch about for being dumbed down. One kid captures a caterpillar that hums to the "Bum bum bum bum"s that we hear throughout the song.






Next we see kids looking at the sky and reading science magazines. St. Vincent mentions the absentee again. Is it a boyfriend? Give more hints! She really believes in this absentee and declares that he will be the one who saves her. HEY KID! Don't look into that sudden eclipse!!! These kids are a handful. Next up St. Vincent is reading a story to the kids. She sings about how she's setting up a play. I think. It could be a metaphor but I'll take literal interpretation for the moment. The audience loves the play but meh, she thought it was a waste of her time. The audience threw a bunch of flowers and she ignores it.

Meanwhile in the video one of the kids REALLY likes our protagonist. Then we see the kids play the special guest star, Swamp Thing. That's the absentee? Suddenly a war breaks out between the kids. At least that's how it looks as they push over a few plants and toss sticks. The video ends with the kids sleeping on the floor of whatever building St. Vincent locks them up in. And one of the kids got a badge for the hat he wore.

I was worried going into this that it was a "Screw religion and or Christianity!" video, but now I'm getting more of a "You guys might like this Christianity stuff, but I'm not feeling it" vibe. Or maybe I'm completely not getting it. She does seem to feel isolated, probably from more showy Christians.




I don't hate this song and video, but I'm just kind of shrugging at it.

The awesome thing about this video is the caterpillar. Hum it, little guy!

Music Video #95 (Day 4 of 2010)

Today's video welcomes back the band that introduced the July Challenge to the world. The Chemical Brothers bring you The Salmon Dance.




Interesting.

This song is about some fish in a tank singing to a kid. It's one of those, "Here's a brand new dance and here's how it goes!" songs.

We start with some kid in bed in his large home. (What kind of lamp is that?) He is awoken by a loud but admittedly catchy beat. He walks through an unfinished room that might be a gross bathroom. He sees a big aquarium and walks up to it.

Whoa, the fish suddenly swim away and we get a record scratch. Ah, the record scratch. You'll continue to be around for a long time. Kid walks up to the fancy aquarium and we get a couple minutes of tension. The only fish we see are a blow fish, a piranha, and a red bug-eyed fish.

Suddenly the piranha starts talking to the kid, and he doesn't react at all. (CUT! Take it from the top!) The piranha is the leader and he introduces himself as Fat Lip. The red fish is a salmon named Sammy, although the quick image search I did doesn't match the fish in this video. Besides a new dance we're also going to learn some fun facts about salmon. Aww, why leave the other fish out? Oh yeah, they're dull, that's what.

The song is a rap, and it's slow enough and non-threatening so most can enjoy it. Oh wait, it's hip hop. Yes, I'm the type that can't tell the difference. I'm what scientist call a Whitus Boyus. I love how the blow fish puffs to the beat. Nice touch there.

The other fish start to come out as we learn that anyone can do this song as long as you have style. Doh! Basically you put your hands to the side and move your body like a salmon moving up stream. Does this dance involve people being snatched up by hungry bears?

Next we see several seahorses line up. Now, I loved the visuals in Let Forever Be, and here we have a great moment where the seahorses tails create a spiral effect from the side.

Our first fun fact about salmon is that they spend part of their lives in fresh water and the other part in salt water. Our second is that they don't last too long after spawning. I guess that explains the Dr. Zoidberg episode where his people died after mating in the ocean. What a way to go. Sammy the "salmon" talks like he's from Microsoft text-to-speech software.

Did I say that this song was non-threatening? Well it is, but only cause they took out some obvious swears in the next part of the song. Let's just say that The Salmon Dance wasn't an immediate hit. It confused people and they were afraid of its wild ways. Kid is on the floor, probably delirious. He moves his foot to simulate pushing one of the fish. Anyway, it wasn't long until people got The Salmon Dance and the other fish accepted it and they evolved, or whatever it is that happens when people accept something so radical.



Suddenly the fish, including all the seahorse, line up and a fancy angel fish emerges from the pebble bottom. Kid is so into it now that he starts kissing some yellow fish pressing up on the glass. Sammy tells us that fish have a better sense of smell than dogs (TAKE THAT!) and bears (ALSO TAKE THAT!) and they use it to find home. Salmon also rely on tides, current, and the friggen moon gravitational pull. Well la-de-da, Sammy. Can you invent a smart phone? I think not. Fat Lip is impressed by these latest facts, though. To illustrate the last point, a car flies to the moon. Wait, huh?

BUT WAIT! More facts! Sammy can go to Japan and back. From where? I want to know now. Wait, he doesn't mean from the moon, does he? Nah. Several fish come out of the underwater castle and form a cube. This is also a neat visual. It also shows us that the fish tank is bigger on the inside than on the outside. Next the fish make a double helix. Our last fact is not so fun. Pollution can kill both adult and baby salmon. Kind of goes without saying, huh? Kid responds to the sudden preachiness by throw food in the tank to assuage his guilt, but the fish are having none of that easy way out. One of the yellow fish commits suicide just to make sure that the kid spends every waking moment thinking about them. Or maybe not since the kid never notices the cat running off with the fish.

The song is over and Fat Lip asks for a round of applause. He gets it, but not from the kid. But fish can't clap. FISH CAN'T CLAP!!! The video ends with Fat Lip asking who's hungry. Oh yeaaaaah, the piranha thing. The other fish run away and we see a treasure chest toy opening up and closing three times. I guess that's the "Waah waaah waah waaah WAAAAAAAH" of the fish world.



This is a decent song, although compared to the other Chemical Brothers song I prefer the other one. I'll admit that at first I didn't think I would like this song but now I've warmed up to it.

The awesome thing is the spiral seahorse tail scene, just beating out the fish cube.

Music Video #94 (Day 3 of 2010)

Today's video marks the return of Annie Lennox. This video is "Walking on Broken Glass." I've heard the song before but wasn't aware that she was the one who sang it.



"Ow! Ow! OW! OW! Because she's walking on broken glass, get it!?"

The video takes place in the fop era. That means the men wear white wigs and the women fan the hell out of themselves. I'm glad I was born in another time period. I'm going to sit next to the air conditioner as I type this in my tshirt and jeans.

Anyway, Annie is dressed in red with her hair wrapped in a towel or something. Some guy she's sitting next to is annoying her. Then we get a quick succession of other people dressed in 18th century fashion. One of the women shows her leg off a little...no wait, that's a man. Friggen late 18th century! Also, calm down with the fan, Annie. Yeesh.

Someone enters the ballroom. He has facial hair that seems out of place and a woman on his arm. Uh oh, Annie is shooting jealous glances at him. The song starts, and more uh oh, because the first line is "You were the sweetest thing..." and we can now see where this is going. She takes a posture that shows that she's in pain and wants to go over to that guy, but is hesitant. The song title is about how it has felt to her since her ex left her.

The chorus plays and we get various people dancing, fanning, joking, fanning, and more while Annie stands there looking upset. Annie returns to her own guy. He apparently lost her despite the fact she didn't move that far away and was close to making a scene. He tries for some late 18th century necking but she isn't having any of it. Annie starts fanning herself even more aggressively as her ex starts kissing his gal gently. That probably means something. Uh oh, a quick cut shows that the ex used to kiss her like that. Notably when they were alone and she was younger and not dressed the socially acceptable way.

Warning! We have a woman scorned! This is not a drill!

Annie has been singing about how nothing else matters. Also, she has an alcoholic drink to go with her sour expression. Not helping is that her guy is chatting it up with the couple. He's trying to be nice but he knows she's about to explode. She grabs another drink before we see more flashbacks of her younger self. She finally goes up to her ex, pushes the bride away, and takes him outside.



What happens next is probably more realistic than you'd expect. She's halfway hitting him lightly and halfway trying to yell at him without breaking down. I'm sure in her character's mind she was going to read him the riot act and then leave him shamed. The man just finally leaves behind the woman who he wronged (and who has had a little to drink) to think about how bad her confrontation went. Meanwhile in her song she's talking about how much in pain she's in.

She pulls it together in the next scene and tries to walk as cooly down the ballroom as she can. She passes several guests until she gets to the other three and...Hmm. She breaks down and grabs her ex's arm and begs him to take her back. This goes about as well as you'd expect. (In fact, I'm curious to see what would happen if the stalkee did immediately accept the stalker. It would be novel.)

Annie's character finally takes a hint after wrestling around with a few women holding her back. She leaves and goes down a long spiral staircase. The song is already done at this point and just rerunning the chorus until it's over. She finally reaches the bottom and a man is there. She jumps into his arms and...it's not the guy she was with but it's her ex. He swings her around and she looks really happy and... really? You're going with a happy ending here?

The moral is don't let go of old crushes/relationships/flings. Push yourself back into your ex's life until they accept you. Or maybe I shouldn't take this video seriously.



I like this song even though I never had a look at what it's about before. I don't think the song is about stalking but the video seems to say, "Hey, what if we take the song to the wrong conclusion?" Not that I'm saying the video is bad or scary. I don't think anybody is going to get the wrong idea from it.

Annie still looks good.

The awesome part of this video is when Annie hits the two women holding her back with a quick move that almost frees herself. Shows how slapstick can help in non-slapstick moments.

Music Video #93 (Day 2 of 2010)

Today we have the return of The White Stripes. This video is called "We're Going to Be Friends." Allow me to illustrate the concept.



Basically Jack White sits on a couch outside a home singing to some Asian chick. Oh wait, that's Meg, isn't it? She sleeps through the entire song until Jack wakes her at the end, so her only action in the video is opening her eyes.

Jack sings about meeting a girl at school. I assumed it was a romantic song but after listening a second time it's more about going to an elementary school and just having fun learning and playing. Between classes they look at bugs and get dirt on their uniforms. In class they sit together and don't notice the time pass by. It's a cute song about two school mates.

At the end of the song he recounts lying in bed and anticipating more of the same tomorrow. Here is probably why I assumed the song was more romantic since usually get a sense of yearning when people are alone singing about others. Nope, here Jack is just some kid singing about a girl he had fun with the previous day. It's an innocent song about school days.


I wonder if I've heard this song before. It feels familiar but I haven't seen any of the movies or shows listed at the wiki entry for this single. I'll admit that it's not the kind of song that will stay in my mind for a long time since it's slow and reflective, but it is a good song.

The awesome part of the video is how low key the music video is for a low key song. There's nothing fancy. There's no need to show anything. It's just a guy with a guitar letting your imagination do the work.

Music Video #92 (Day 1 of 2010)

Welcome to year four of our little experiment. Maybe this is the year my head will explode from being exposed to new stuff.


Today's music video is Rockin' the Suburbs by Ben Folds.





This video reminds me of Weird Al's White and Nerdy, or Offspring's Pretty Fly, but lets just say it's much closer to White and Nerdy, if you know what I mean. (I mean that it isn't garbage.)

The song is about a guy with a widow's peak who wants to be angry at stuff but can't really because he lives a comfortable life. It's hard to have righteous anger when you're well off. But righteous anger is what all the cool people have, so you'll see people like him make up how they're a victim of something too.

This video doesn't really take itself too seriously, so I'm not going to poke too much fun at it.

The song starts with the guy looking at the camera. Immediately you want to ridicule his aging white guy look, but that's what he's going for so he's way ahead of you. He presses his nose against the glass briefly to the music.

Then we see that he's in what looks to be a nice living room. Even though he's in his later 30s, he and several other hims are rocking as if they were teens in their parents home. The opening lyrics tell us that this is a lament of the suburban white guy. Oh, and buy his CD, folks. He's shows it off quickly.

Next he's outside on a skateboard riding around in the neighborhood. (A very nice neighborhood.) This guy has problems just like you! But he's not authentic enough, so you'll ignore him or mock him and that just feeds his pain. We next see him dancing with two clones, and it's as dorky as you'd expect.

We get to the chorus. He's rockin' the suburbs, yo! Just like Michael Jackson. Except the talent...oh, he said that before me. See, he's way ahead of you. Suddenly he's squatting down while the camera is looking up at him. I don't want to be down here. He sings that he takes his checks and knows that his music is fixed in post-production. He's the kind of guy who's given up and is depressed and knows what's wrong with his life yet doesn't bother to do anything.

He's also passive-aggressive. His next verse tells us about he's a wimp who gets pushed around and he blames his parents so...he's gonna say a swear! Take that, somebody! The only person this clown could ever push around is himself, though, so he asks random people for something to break. God, what's next? Maybe he won't use his turn signals! Maybe he won't leave a tip! Civilization is crumbling from his rebellious ways.

We get to the chorus again. Quiet Riot replaces Michael Jackson, but in this case we learn that they're not as talented as this guy. ZING! I'd bet I would agree so much if I knew who they were! But I'm just a ... never mind. We get a neat cameo by Weird Al when we find out that he's the producer who fixes this guy's songs.

Al slides the switches from "sucks" to "rocks". Our protagonist tells us that while driving he had this feeling. He can't really describe it but something doesn't feel right. He hears music that probably has a "screw whitey!" tone to it and it gives him terrible white guilt. Poor guy didn't need this. He was just going to the store for some hemorrhoid medicine.



Next we see him walking down a hallway trying to look like Eminem. I guess he was already popular by the time this video was released in 2001. He tries and fails to be angsty due to the previous established things that work against him.

Next up in the chorus Von Jobi* is mentioned, and is declared more talented than this guy. Then he starts jumping into a pool and grilling burgers in his big back yard. Hey, if you want a crappier life so you can feel better about yourself, I'm perfectly willing to trade for a pool and huge property. Just saying. I'll give you my email if you want.

Oh wait, this is just a character. Anyway, he finally gets to say some of those swears he threatened to do earlier. The song ends with him rocking out in a room with light coming out of several holes in the wall.


This song never takes itself seriously, and my attempts to mock it probably work against me. It's a fun, light song and I can see why Lita chose it for the first day of this year.

I'd say that the awesome part is the pool, but that's just my bias speaking. So I'll say that the white boy dancing is the awesome part of the video.




* - Or Bon Jobi if you prefer the correct way of spelling it.