Happy Halloween!

For the scary holiday I choose the scariest of monsters: Medusa!

Of course, I choose this picture of a video game sprite so my readers don't turn to stone.


When I was in college I minored in history. In a class about classical Greek myths we came across this creature. The professor told us that the monster was a reputation of Greek men and their fear of female sexuality. No, really. Think of the snakes as hair, and remember that she spat out some kids after being decapitated. Also, her stare turns people into stone. Her face is just so scary and hideous!

While looking for an appropriate picture I saw many Medusa's with pretty faces, which misses the whole poin. I guess it could be a lot worse given the Internet.

Tork's Picks Week 8

I'll pick

Hou over Buf
Chi over Cle
Dal over Sea
Det over StL (Good gravy. I bet this game is somehow shown on FOX.)
Ind over SF
NYJ over Mia (Both these teams stink. Bet this game is shown on CBS, though.)
NYG over Phi (Go whoever can best beat Dallas if they meet in the playoffs)
Balt over Den (Denver is bound to lose one, right?)
-
Tenn over Jac (So, which city will the Jaguars move to? Will we finally have a LA team?)
SD over Oak
Ari over Car
Minn over GB (I'm glad we're getting these Brett/GB matchups done quickly.)
-
NO over Atl


open: Was and some other teams


Last Week: 9-4
Total: 67-36

This Week In Entertainment (10/27/09)

My Pick of the Week is Tales of Monkey Island Episode 3 for the WiiWare. What took you guys so long? Yes, I know the answer is that Nintendo sucks at release schedules.


Out in theaters this week is a stitched together movie about Michael Jackson's last concert. Or some other concerts stitched together. This blogger chooses to skip this movie and remember the 80s.

Not a movie about the Boondocks the comic.


On home DVD is another movie about Tinker Bell and all her girlfriends. Let me guess: She talks, because why bother keeping her in character.

I thought this series was about the anthology series introduced by the Cryptkeeper, but it isn't, so forget about it.

I just mentioned this film being in theaters LAST WEEK!

Technically he wasn't... Just saying.

Due to all the promotion about 2012, I'm not very worried about the year. It looks like the next Y2k.


On Wii and DS is Press Your Luck. It better be cheap. In fact, it should be packaged with Price Is Right for 30 dollars. I'd pick them up.

Geocities is dead

I used to have a geocities account. I wanted to make a website that contained all the posts from a role playing game that my friends and I participated in. I also wanted to play around with HTML and work on my own things. So in 2002 I got an account and started making my own website.

It was fun at first, but unfortunately I did something really stupid that stopped the project dead. For some reason, you're not suppose to hard save a geocities webpage. Hard saving is when you save an individual web page to your computer. This ended up doing two things. 1) I could no longer access any geocities pages. 2) I was getting frequent pop-ups for female anatomy. Specifically it was always Asian female anatomy. I never got why it was so specific.

So somehow I had a virus that prevented me from using the website anymore at home. I think part of the problem was that I was using a Windows 98 computer with little updates. So I was left without a website and with the embarrassing task of telling my friends that I couldn't use my own website anymore. Thanks to my friend PM, I got a tripod account and was able to move my files over. Now I have a tripod account that I haven't touched in years. Hopefully tripod lasts a little longer. I don't want to move my stuff to freewebs anytime soon.

So thank you, yahoo, for giving me a place to host my first website. But I'm afraid my memories of geocities is mostly side ads and mysterious viruses.

Tork's Picks Week 7

I bet the Redskins lose by 30 poins Monday night.


I'll take:

Green Bay over Cleveland
San Diego over Kansas City
Indianapolis over StL
Minnesota over Pittsburgh
NE over TB
Houston over SF
-
NYJ over Oakland
Carolina over Buffalo
Chicago over Cincinnati
Dallas over Atlanta
NO over Miami
-
NYG over Ari
-
Phi over Was


Last Week: 9- 5
Season: 58- 32

This Week In Entertainment (10/20/09)

This isn't a movie, game, or video, but My Pick of the Week is Windows 7 because I hope it's what Vista should have been. In fact, I assume it's just a stable Vista. I'd love to get a faster computer with an updated OS.



Also out this week is the latest in this decade's version of Friday the Thirteenth. I will be reading the wiki entry Friday night just to see how stupid Saw VI is.

Want to see a movie that's actually scary? Stan Helsing. Yes, it's YET ANOTHER dumb spoof, this one that I didn't hear of until now. I will never understand the illegal drug culture.

Motherhood is a movie starring Uma Thurman. The only reason why I bring it up is the poster art reminds me of the awful poster for a movie called Baby Mama. I know it may sound like I'm exaggerating, but I can't stand the Baby Mama poster. It makes me cringe.

Astroboy is a 3d animated movie. This movie is for the older crowd because it certainly wasn't around for my generation. This will be either the first or second highest opening this week.


On dvd is the second Transformers movie. I saw a video review of the first one. Boy, was it not funny. Yes, I'm talking about the comedy when it was a summer blockbuster film. I can't imagine the second film being any better.

Also out on DVD is all of those bunny movie parodies. For not-free!

Did somebody mention a new version of Windows? Time to roll out the video tutorials!

There's a ton of DS and Wii games out this week. The only one worth mentioning is Cooking Mama 3 for the DS. Nintendo, where the heck is Tales of Monkey Island Episode 3?

Your Butt

People are mortal. I hope you were sitting down when you read that last sentence. Anyway, since people want to squeeze some more years out of their lives, there's always products that claim to extend your life. Unfortunately, a lot of them are scams. For example!!!

The most recent fad usually has two steps. The first step is unimportant. Usually you eat some rare berries or something. It's the kind of thing found in old diets where one miracle thing can make up for your lifetime of watching TV and eating potato chips.

It's step two that tries something new. The second step in a lot of these scams that you'll see in many web ads are colon cleansings. Basically, they claim that there is a lot of gunk in your colon, and if you don't flush the "toxins" out, you'll stay fat or something. I've heard that some of these ads even show gross feces to convince you that something was clogging you up and now the guy in the photo is good to go.

The solution is some product that you eat to "flush" your colon. Naturally, you have to take the company's word that it's your previously bad colon that produced your gross feces, not the product.


I bring this up for a couple reasons. One, this ad is everywhere, at least where I roam to on the internet. (Now that I think of that...HEY!!!) It's endorsed by CNN, Oprah, and some Food Network cook, except when it's not. Whenever you click on an ad promising weight loss, you can be assured that it will tell you about your large intestines.

(And of course, they won't let you leave unless you click a double pop up prompt to cancel. Didn't we all agree that pop ups are a bad thing and only used by people who want to give us viruses? I get very nervous when I see that box and want to close the whole page instead.)

The second reason is that this scam uses the WORST before and after pics I've seen. It must be hard for con men to put those together. You have to get a before guy who appeals to the gullible, but you have to have the after guy look reasonably like the before guy. Instead, many of the ads I see show a bulked up before guy, and the same guy with a tan and a baseball cap. Really.

Flush your colon, people. It's holding your melanin count down.