Sports is good for you.
The Nationals lose like the losing losers they are.
The Capitals have clinched a playoff spot and may win their division. Too bad last year was so painful that I can't bring myself to watch them again. Jerks.
Bring on the Redsk...Destoyers!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Oh, hell yeah!
Guess who the coach of Tork's Blog Official Football Team is?
A former Redskins coach, that's who.
Go Destroyers!
A former Redskins coach, that's who.
Go Destroyers!
Monday, March 28, 2011
This Week in Entertainment (3/29/11)
My Pick of the Week is the Nintendo 3DS. It was technically released yesterday, but Sunday is a silly day to release something.
Also out this week is Source Code, which is sadly not about looking at lines of code for 90 minutes. You know, the only good part of The Matrix? The plot sounds a bit like Groundhog's Day, only as a thriller.
Christmas gets a lot of attention for a holiday that isn't as important as Easter. This 3D animated film tries to fix that, I assume.
Rubber is the story of a murderous tire. Part of me thinks that you should be able to write well no matter how dumb the the premise is. You know, challenge yourself. The other part thinks that maybe the public is clamoring for new ideas but this isn't what they mean.
On DVD we have Black Swan, a movie that earned Natalie Portman an oscar for pretending she didn't use a stuntman.
Tangled was Disney's continuing clumsy attempt to make 3D films without Pixar. Good thing you held onto them, right Disney?
The greatest American show about the Cold War is back. It's Bullwinkle and Rocky: Volume Five.
How can you not like Charlton Heston as Moses? Even as a kid I thought his Moses was laying it on thick but that's also why I love the movie.
I guess they're re-releasing the Xena seasons. Season 2 was aired locally on primetime on the WB, and it was a fun season. Not to serious like it got later on in the later third and fourth seasons. I lost track of the show went it went to India and into syndication.
Are you kidding me? Are you really releasing Ace Ventura Jr as if it was some companion piece to the two Ace films? That's like if I filmed my own version of Mortal Kombat and it was released with the two other movies. (Imagine me dressing in a cheap ninja costume and throwing a rope at somebody. That's good enough, right?)
The 80s had Friday the 13th, but it also had Police Academy. It was beginning of the summer blockbuster franchises and I guess they hadn't quite ironed everything out. How long until they reboot the series, or have they already done that?
Also out this week is Source Code, which is sadly not about looking at lines of code for 90 minutes. You know, the only good part of The Matrix? The plot sounds a bit like Groundhog's Day, only as a thriller.
Christmas gets a lot of attention for a holiday that isn't as important as Easter. This 3D animated film tries to fix that, I assume.
Rubber is the story of a murderous tire. Part of me thinks that you should be able to write well no matter how dumb the the premise is. You know, challenge yourself. The other part thinks that maybe the public is clamoring for new ideas but this isn't what they mean.
On DVD we have Black Swan, a movie that earned Natalie Portman an oscar for pretending she didn't use a stuntman.
Tangled was Disney's continuing clumsy attempt to make 3D films without Pixar. Good thing you held onto them, right Disney?
The greatest American show about the Cold War is back. It's Bullwinkle and Rocky: Volume Five.
How can you not like Charlton Heston as Moses? Even as a kid I thought his Moses was laying it on thick but that's also why I love the movie.
I guess they're re-releasing the Xena seasons. Season 2 was aired locally on primetime on the WB, and it was a fun season. Not to serious like it got later on in the later third and fourth seasons. I lost track of the show went it went to India and into syndication.
Are you kidding me? Are you really releasing Ace Ventura Jr as if it was some companion piece to the two Ace films? That's like if I filmed my own version of Mortal Kombat and it was released with the two other movies. (Imagine me dressing in a cheap ninja costume and throwing a rope at somebody. That's good enough, right?)
The 80s had Friday the 13th, but it also had Police Academy. It was beginning of the summer blockbuster franchises and I guess they hadn't quite ironed everything out. How long until they reboot the series, or have they already done that?
Friday, March 25, 2011
See you on Monday
I'm going to get in line for the grand 3DS release. Won't be able to post until then. See ya.
Monday, March 21, 2011
About that kid, or that other kid.
Or that guy. Or remember that gal from a few years ago?
I just wanted to add a little more about that Friday music video. It's a stupid song, but can someone explain why people take music so seriously? I've noticed that people treat their personal music tastes in the same way they'll treat politics or religion. Now that we have iPods why do we need to jump on anybody who likes music that we don't like?
I have a cousin who wears a Justin Beiber rubberband on her fat wrist. Do I need to panic and shame her into picking the One True Music even though she's a ten/eleven year old? Justin will be forgotten in a few years. Why do people get bent out of shape over him? I once trolled a youtube video about the PlayStation Move, and someone countered my Pro-Nintendo comment by comparing the Wii to him. I'm not 12, so I don't spend every moment of the day comparing things to a teen idol, so such a thing is lost on me.
You even see death threats. It reminds me when I was that age, and we much smarter, older, almost teens knew better than those dumb children. They loved Barney. Yeah, well we hate him! DEATH TO BARNEY! DIE DIE DIE! To show how sophisticated we were, we released our inner-sociopath.
How many preteens have access to the Internet? Because it makes me wonder how many adults are also immature enough that they feel threatened by any goofy song that doesn't conform to their standards.
I just wanted to add a little more about that Friday music video. It's a stupid song, but can someone explain why people take music so seriously? I've noticed that people treat their personal music tastes in the same way they'll treat politics or religion. Now that we have iPods why do we need to jump on anybody who likes music that we don't like?
I have a cousin who wears a Justin Beiber rubberband on her fat wrist. Do I need to panic and shame her into picking the One True Music even though she's a ten/eleven year old? Justin will be forgotten in a few years. Why do people get bent out of shape over him? I once trolled a youtube video about the PlayStation Move, and someone countered my Pro-Nintendo comment by comparing the Wii to him. I'm not 12, so I don't spend every moment of the day comparing things to a teen idol, so such a thing is lost on me.
You even see death threats. It reminds me when I was that age, and we much smarter, older, almost teens knew better than those dumb children. They loved Barney. Yeah, well we hate him! DEATH TO BARNEY! DIE DIE DIE! To show how sophisticated we were, we released our inner-sociopath.
How many preteens have access to the Internet? Because it makes me wonder how many adults are also immature enough that they feel threatened by any goofy song that doesn't conform to their standards.
This Week In Entertainment (3/21/11)
My Pick of the Week is a Lego game. I'm not happy with the fact that it's based on the "Who Cares?" Clone Wars, but it's still a Tell Tales Lego game, so good enough for me. There's also a DS version and a 3DS version coming out soon.
In theaters, did you ever notice that Hollywood isn't very good at making movies with female action heroes? (Also, check out the URL? 2010? I smell "delayed and dumped in a forgettable month!)
On DVD is that Yogi Bear movie. Just a name that screamed 3D film for the holidays 50 years after it's relevance.
Hey look, there's a movie that's number on in America. Let's release a similarly named DVD now!
I admit that I list this video solely for the boxart.
Did you know that they made four Brady movies? Did we even need one movie? Yeah, it mocked a bad tv show, but you're suppose to move on after that.
This doesn't strike me as "edgy" since we now live in the porn era.
I see a LOT of belly dancing videos listed at Amazon week to week. So this wasn't too surprising, but it seems like it should have aired on some channel. Seems like ratings gold to me.
And she can stay away!
In theaters, did you ever notice that Hollywood isn't very good at making movies with female action heroes? (Also, check out the URL? 2010? I smell "delayed and dumped in a forgettable month!)
On DVD is that Yogi Bear movie. Just a name that screamed 3D film for the holidays 50 years after it's relevance.
Hey look, there's a movie that's number on in America. Let's release a similarly named DVD now!
I admit that I list this video solely for the boxart.
Did you know that they made four Brady movies? Did we even need one movie? Yeah, it mocked a bad tv show, but you're suppose to move on after that.
This doesn't strike me as "edgy" since we now live in the porn era.
I see a LOT of belly dancing videos listed at Amazon week to week. So this wasn't too surprising, but it seems like it should have aired on some channel. Seems like ratings gold to me.
And she can stay away!
Friday, March 18, 2011
I'm about as white as you can possibly get...
and even I laughed at the rapper in this terrible music video that Mike Nelson made popular.
I thought the moon looked big.
This is the reason why I was suddenly concerned if the world had gone Majora's Mask.
Civil War, Part Deux
Who would have guessed it would start in Wisconsin? I blame the Super Bowl win. This country hasn't had a civil war in nearly 150 years but BAM! PACKERS WIN THE SUPER BOWL!.... LET'S GET ALL STUPID AND VIOLENT! WHOO!
Oh well. If they bring back those hats, I hope they pick better colors than blue and grey. And that much more legs are kept. Ooh!, and update Glory Glory Hallelujah so it rocks.
This shows what I know. I always thought the next big war would be caused by video games, but we might still see that between nations so I'll keep my twenty on the table.
Oh well. If they bring back those hats, I hope they pick better colors than blue and grey. And that much more legs are kept. Ooh!, and update Glory Glory Hallelujah so it rocks.
This shows what I know. I always thought the next big war would be caused by video games, but we might still see that between nations so I'll keep my twenty on the table.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Thank you, snopes.
For making this entry. What kind of monster would make a map like that? It can't be a regular tin-foiler, can it?
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
This Week In Entertainment (3/14/11)
My Pick of the Week is this DVD of Gamera vs Zigra, paired with another Gamera movie. Why? Because it's a slow week. It's the Gamera movie where...I don't know.
Because John Goodman is hefty, you see.
Pfft, every century thinks that theirs is the best.
Man, Snoop must have run out of money when he made this.
I bet you they put both triumphs and tragedies on both DVDs so you can't avoid either. Jerks.
I'm not saying you shouldn't watch these because you should for historical purposes. But you might want to hide them afterwards. People might misunderstand.
Because her one music video where she tried to kill her boyfriend was the most accurate look on women I've ever seen. No, I don't have issues!
Because John Goodman is hefty, you see.
Pfft, every century thinks that theirs is the best.
Man, Snoop must have run out of money when he made this.
I bet you they put both triumphs and tragedies on both DVDs so you can't avoid either. Jerks.
I'm not saying you shouldn't watch these because you should for historical purposes. But you might want to hide them afterwards. People might misunderstand.
Because her one music video where she tried to kill her boyfriend was the most accurate look on women I've ever seen. No, I don't have issues!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Go Destroyers!
Ever here of the UFL? It's all we got if you don't count Arena Football (which is still around even though I thought it folded.)
Anyway, go league that I wouldn't have heard of if the NFL didn't have its current problems!
Friday, March 11, 2011
The NFLPA Dispands
And as a Redskins fan, I'm not angry about possibly losing a season. In fact, we're 2 for 2 winning the Super Bowl during strike seasons.
Edit: Funny, that was suppose to be a gif file. Oh well.
Revenge of Nadine
The epilogue to the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith review, as well as Red Letter Media's Star Wars Prequel films, is up at their webzone.
Call me crazy, but there was something sweet about the "Go get him, Tiger!" line at the end. At least Red Letter Media can make me feel more for a crazed killer and a revenge-seeking hooker more than Lucas could make me feel for Luke Skywalker's parents.
Call me crazy, but there was something sweet about the "Go get him, Tiger!" line at the end. At least Red Letter Media can make me feel more for a crazed killer and a revenge-seeking hooker more than Lucas could make me feel for Luke Skywalker's parents.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
This Week In Entertainment (3/7/11)
My Pick of the first third of 2011 is Mystery Science Theater Volume XX. It's an all-Joel edition. The episodes included are Project Moonbase, Master Ninja 1, Master Ninja 2, and The Magic Voyage of Sinbad.
Also out this week is this summary of Super Bowl XLV. I hope it includes several angles of Big Ben's pick six.
The Game Show Network is going to revive Whose Line is it Anyway?, so why not prepare for that by picking up this copy of a live show by stars Colin Mocherie and Brad Sherwood.
Grover is Jewish. Who knew?
Despite what conspiracy theorists tell you, these things actually happened.
I assume the story goes, "I was too drunk and I missed the bus that exploded" but I don't know how you make a movie or documentary about that.
The Indian Three Stooges! I assume. Maybe they'll do the Maharaja routine.
In theaters we get the Twilight-ification of Little Red Riding Hood. You stink, 12 year old girls. (Or any woman who still acts like they're that age.)
Mars Needs Moms. Doesn't that title sounds like something that would be released straight to video? Well, it is March.
As bad as Mars Needs Moms sound, at least it doesn't look like a big budget movie that's about to flop this month.
Ever notice that colleges don't really teach anything and is more concerned with entertaining its unchaperoned crowd? Just asking.
In vidya game news, Pokemon Black and White was released today. I can't wait for the terrible race jokes this game will get.
Hey look, a baseball game for the Wii. Do they still do the motion controls thing anymore?
Also out this week is this summary of Super Bowl XLV. I hope it includes several angles of Big Ben's pick six.
The Game Show Network is going to revive Whose Line is it Anyway?, so why not prepare for that by picking up this copy of a live show by stars Colin Mocherie and Brad Sherwood.
Grover is Jewish. Who knew?
Despite what conspiracy theorists tell you, these things actually happened.
I assume the story goes, "I was too drunk and I missed the bus that exploded" but I don't know how you make a movie or documentary about that.
The Indian Three Stooges! I assume. Maybe they'll do the Maharaja routine.
In theaters we get the Twilight-ification of Little Red Riding Hood. You stink, 12 year old girls. (Or any woman who still acts like they're that age.)
Mars Needs Moms. Doesn't that title sounds like something that would be released straight to video? Well, it is March.
As bad as Mars Needs Moms sound, at least it doesn't look like a big budget movie that's about to flop this month.
Ever notice that colleges don't really teach anything and is more concerned with entertaining its unchaperoned crowd? Just asking.
In vidya game news, Pokemon Black and White was released today. I can't wait for the terrible race jokes this game will get.
Hey look, a baseball game for the Wii. Do they still do the motion controls thing anymore?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Ways to thank Tork.
One way you could show your appreciation to the guy who writes this blog is a 200 thousand dollar ticket to go on a space plane.
Hey, I'll always have something to brag about if I survive.
Hey, I'll always have something to brag about if I survive.
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