Black History Month Essay #5

Do not disparage the great man who I am about to write about, for he is Jaleel Rufus White. His many triumphs will be revealed in my essay.

Jaleel was born in 1976 in Pasadena, California. Despite the little old ladies he grew up to be a fine young child actor. Jaleel's father was a dentist, and he would remind his son to smile during a commercial shooting by pulling out a dental drill.

Jaleel's early starts were numerous. He starred in a Kelloggs commercial and he performed admirably despite the constant whir sound. He got his first start on a television show by appearing on Flip Wilson. There is no truth to the rumor that Satan forced him. Jaleel wasn't always successful, and suffered a humiliating snub when he failed to be cast for Saved By the Bell. This will always be one of the Entertainment Industry's biggest What If? scenarios.

Jaleel bounced back and by the nineties he starred in what turned out to be his trademark role. Everybody loved his voice for Sonic the Hedgehog, including people who wouldn't creep you out. Jaleel showed his diverse talent by voicing a Sonic for a goofy weekday show, a Sonic for a more serious Saturday show, and a Sonic show that was written when people were starting to get tired of the games. Jaleel could take Captain Lou Albano in a fight.

Jaleel also had a cereal in the nineties. It was called Urkel-Os and was made thanks to his ties to Kelloggs. Of course, everybody thought it was stupid to have a cereal mascot with no history, so Kelloggs got ABC to force this new character into Full House. He didn't fit there, but he proved popular enough to appear in other shows. Finally they just created a show called "That Urkel Show", and eased his character into that. It was officially called something else, but only the producers remember the original name.

"Thank Goodness It's Friggen-Good-Cereal" made more money for Urkel than he knew what to do with. Sadly he spent most of his money on painkillers because he had to bend his knees and hike his pants up so often. Critics and fans alike started to realize his character wasn't as funny when he was thirty-three, so the show was finally cancelled. White was broke and had already made powerful enemies. (At his high school, Middlesex, he got several students angry at him when they mistakenly thought he was a nerd. Matt Damon was his arch-nemesis.)

Like all people who were desperate for money, any money, he had a sitcom on UPN. This didn't last long nor his affair with Soleil Moon Frye. He did get some work as the definitive voice of Martin Luther King Jr in My Friend Martin, though. Later he got a role in the political documentary Who Made the Potatoe Salad? Critics were split over whether Dan Quayle jokes were still funny.

Jaleel has had a remarkable career and is a fine American. His fans will see what should be one of his finest roles in the film Green Flash, where he will play Jason Bootie. I'm sure we will all see it this year and look at what he did.