My essay is about Whoopi Goldberg. She is the woman responsible for bringing man and dinosaur together, but that's only a fraction of what she's has done for our planet.
Whoopi was born Caryn Elaine Johnson in 1955. She changed her last name to Goldberg because Jew jokes were popular by the time she became a comedian. Whoopi came from her friends when they compared her to a whoopee cushion. There's no truth to the rumor that she gets what they meant by that.
During her first few appearances in films and theater Steven Spielberg thought she would be great in his film about Prince. Eventually The Color Purple was changed to be based on a novel of a black woman in the thirties, which critics felt was a wise choice. There is truth to the rumor that Spielberg is planning to take out all the yucky scenes and replace them with Whoopi stomping on grapes to make the best wine ever. Whoopi didn't win an Oscar for her role but her Golden Globe Award puts her in fine company as other actresses like Pia Zadora.
Despite her prestigious award her movie career hit a slump. Even after films like Jumpin' Jack Flash, The Telephone, and Burglar, she was forced to get a role on television. Well, back in the sixties Whoopi saw an episode of Star Trek and was proud to see that the Uhura character was a black woman who wasn't a maid. When she got her groundbreaking role on Star Trek: The Next Generation, people could now see a black woman as a bartender on television. Truly times have changed.
This reenergized her career and led to her role in Ghost. She was finally given an Oscar after she agreed not to be involved with the pottery wheel scene. She hit her stride in the early nineties and released two movies that taught America that nuns can be funny. The movies were so popular that nuns had to drop the habits, similar to goalies dropping the masks after the Friday the 13th series.
Whoopi was huge at this time. She did guestwork as Gaia in the Captain Planet series , which taught us that enviromentalism means swift retribution to anybody who doesn't respect the planet. She also did the voice of a hyena in the Lion King, an injoke because now she was the one that was laughing! Unfortunately, her ego got big and led to the biggest mistake of her career. She started dating Ted Danson and the both made the film Made in America. Federal Law prevents me from discussing them or this movie anymore.
Whoopi was ordered to make a PSA as her punishment, and this is when she made Theodore Rex. This film, about the prejudices between man and reptile, proves that all films are created equal. It's just that some are more worthy to be released in the theaters than others.
Eddie was going to restart Whoopi's career in the later nineties, but that turned out to be Bogus. It wasn't until she costarred in How Stella Got her Groove back that people started to remember her. This led her to get the center square in The Hollywood Squares, where the celebrities were so good that they were often picked more than her.
In the 00s, she starred in films like The Rat Race, where some mad mad people traveled the world for a prize. She later got her own sitcom that made audiences laugh about how obnoxious some people can be with their political views. This only lasted a year because the writers were already burnt out after making a season of great episodes. Whoopi also voiced a role in an animated penguin movie, since they were so popular for kids in the mid 00s.
Later Whoopi landed a chair on The View to the delight of all the political bloggers. Whoopi loves this show because she can get real drunk and still look like a genius next to Joy Behar.
Whoopi's career speaks for itself. It's so long and distinguished, that you can see why my essay is a day late. Clearly, you can't take off a letter grade because the extra time was worth it.
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