E3

It's E3 week and I'd like to say that this is the official blog for all your E3 needs.

Except for news and booth babes. But I will have my own commentary this week unless I can't watch the E3 Nintendo show. Which could go either way.

Still, OFFICIAL BLOG. Right here.

Two years ago

I could have used this advice.

This Week In Entertainment (5/27/09)

My Pick of the Week is lacking an online vs mode, dangit, but otherwise it should be a fun game. It's Bubble Bobble Plus! for the Wii and is 600 Wii poins. The NES Bubble Bobble was a great two player game so I don't see why they couldn't have tossed in an online 2 player mode.


Also out this week on DVD is Zabriskie's Point. It's a hippy movie that tries to wake you up at the end with a big poinless explosion.


In theaters is Pixar's latest, Up. It looks nice and colorful and I have to admit that the dog is very funny in the trailer.


This DVD set is the complete Land of the Lost show. Say, is there a related movie coming out soon?

This set has a number of 60s cartoons, mostly Hannah Barbara stuff. Most of these shows are probably available separately so this is more of a sampler set.

This set has a number of 70s Hannah Barbara stuff, which means everything is based on Scooby Doo. It includes Charlie Chan and The Funky Phantom.

I like to toss in an occasional oddball item. Every week I check amazon and they always seem to sell new belly dancing DVDs. I can understand the following, but is there really a market for new DVDs every week? Anyway, this set is bellydancing for pregnant women!


Also out on WiiWare this week is Adventure Island: The Beginning. It's the New Super Mario Bros of the Wonder Boy series.

This post contains spoilers about Star Trek Eleven.

Yeah, I said eleven. What are you going to do about that?


About the movie: Did they just decanonized all Trek series except for Enterprise? (Well, I guess TOS still happened because old Spock is still around.)


J. J. Abrams has a huge pair.





Scotty, how could you?

RIP

1997(?) - 2009

This Week In Entertainment (5/17/09)

Boom Blox was a fun game that should have sold more copies, so I'm making its sequel my Pick of the Week. Hopefully it's more of the same despite the party bash theme. I need to go back to the first and beat the shooting missions now.


In theaters this week is the latest Terminator movie. It's a good thing that Arnold isn't in it or otherwise it would have gone broke before completion. Get it?! Haw, that's a real kneeslapper. ... Eh. Anyway, it's PG-13, so expect the fanboys to grumble about it.


SPEAKING OF FANBOYS!


Back to theaters, we have Night at the Museum 2. I bet the museum looks nothing like the Smithsonian, probably for security reasons. A shame, really. I'd see this movie just to see what they do with the real place but oh well.


On DVD we have the seventh season of 24. That makes a whole week now.

This dvd set disturbs me. I know that the show must go on and they were probably stuck with contracts and all, but why did this show continue after John Ritter's death? Look at how sad the DVD cover is. It's just like Newsradio.

The latest Dr. Doolittle movie. I remember reading reviews for the first movie (which was fresh after the funny Nutty Professor remake) and the reviewer said the movie was nothing but butt jokes. By the way, the subtitle is Million Dollar Pets. How expensive was this movie? I'd hate to think that it cost millions to make.

Pacifism equals kicking butt.

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Sadly, no Godzilla.


Finally, back on the Wii we have a remake of Punch Out!!! I'll probably get it but I doubt it's worth full price. I feel compelled to tell a joke but given how this game attracts racist jokes about bicycles I'm just going to back off.

Speaking of nerdy crap

Tomorrow there will be a 72 hour video game marathon done by the Speed Gamers. They will play all three Mother games and will be joined by my mortal youtube enemy, chuggaaconroy. They're doing it for charity on their ustream channel.


I'll be there but I'll miss the beginning because of the upcoming Rifftrax Live Show. But I will be there. I'll defintely chip in a couple bucks for the charity, in this case a charity for breast cancer.

Anyway, since I'm running a gag into the ground, here's another cosplay picture.




She's a boyish princess from the third Mother game. She had a sharp tongue and mostly used magic.

Another Tork Mention in the Blogshack

Blog-o-sphere? Keep flattering yourself desk nerds.

Anyway, I got mentioned in yet another GoNintendo podcast because I submitted music for their music section. This episode is #190, and you can here the mention at about 1 hour, 23 minutes, or 8 minutes to go.

Host RawMeatCowboy said that he loved the music I send in, and I've only submitted thrice.





You hear that, Morrigan? Some guy with a video game blog said that he loves my occasional contributions to his podcast. I don't quite seem to be waaaaaaaaaay out of your league now, do I?

I call SHENANIGANS!

Sexy shenanigans!

But SHENANIGANS nonetheless.

Don't make me call the Blog Police on you, shenaniganizer!

Good night!

Man, I don't even need a reason anymore. And you can't do anything about this, Lita!

Relax, Tork.

You're making a scene.

Did you know...?

That before people built airplanes, they actually glued wings to themselves and jumped off cliffs? What a silly thing to do.





This is an example of how to glue wings to yourself, but remember, people aren't capable of flying!

I have a red shirt.

Just like the guy in this background.

How much is five minus two?

Exactly. Three.

Just a reminder...

A succubus is a demon that steals the energy from men. They do this by taking the form of an attractive young woman to seduce the victim. Let me show you an example...









That concludes today's lesson.

Washington Capitals Report (5/13/09)

As I type this the Caps are all but officially eliminated from the playoffs. I have one thing to say about that.








Ah, isn't she a cutie?

Sometimes...

Sometimes I think that cosplayers are adults who are just flaunting the fact that they haven't grown up yet. I mean, you guys are in your twenties. Stop dressing up like video game characters!









On the other hand I wonder if I should go to a nerd convention someday. I once saw some nerds at a food court when there was a otaku convention at Baltimore.

This Week In Entertainment (5/11/09)

My Pick of the Week is all whatever number of episodes of the Dana Carvey Show was aired. I remember liking the couple episodes I saw but it had Bob Dole jokes so I'm guessing it won't age so well. At least it isn't Master of Disguise.


With Star Trek in theaters, here's a chance to buy more Star Trek for home. Here's the Star Trek Trilogy, otherwise known as the good Star Trek films. Journey Home or First Contact not included.

Speaking of Star Trek, somebody gambled that Star Trek Eleven would suck and therefore a deluxe copy of Galaxy Quest would be perfect for the disgusted Trekkie. Oops.

Now this is what I call quadruple dipping. It's only one season. Why release it in four volumes?


For a change of pace, here's a novel. Remember, BOOKS AREN'T CANON!

Washington Capitals Report (5/10/09)

Stick a fork in them.


The worst part is that the Hurricanes are most likely to win their series against Boston, so the team who wins this series has a great chance at making the Stanley Cup finals.

Rifftrax Live Show May 15th

Rifftrax.com is now going to do a live show for a full length movie next Friday. They're charging for it this time, unlike their two shows back in January.

The movie is Planet of Dinosaurs. It will be preceded by a short and followed by a Q & A session. The show starts on 9pm EST.

The short is Shake Hands With Danger and it's free. The movie and Q &A part is 7 bucks. If you pay 15 bucks, you also get to download the video of the short and movie afterwards. I know how much I'm going to pay. The 15 buck ticket also includes a mp3 song performed by Mike, Bill, and Kevin, as well as some award that goes with your Rifftrax forum account.

So I'll most likely be at the show Friday. If you go, just put your feet up and relax, and hopefully the goon rush won't destroy the ustream servers like last time.

And this is why...

The Onion is the only thing that matters as far as fake news goes.





Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Washington Capitals Report 5/4/09

I need to quit on this team more often.

This Week In Entertainment (5/4/09)

I'll be honest. I haven't seen too many episodes of the Original Star Trek series. I'm more of a TNG, Enterprise, and Voyager fan. I'd watch TOS and DS9 if the series weren't so damn expensive. Anyway, I hope the movies are a hit so we can have more Trek series running concurrently like the good old days.



Speaking of Star Trek, Voyager did this movie already. They called it Innocence.


While we're on the topic of Star Trek, this series is creepy. At least it seemed that way despite the fact I never watched an episode.


Did Attack of the Giant Leaches really need an update? Does this new movie offer a new take on hick incest?

Finally, virtual reality! It's about damn time.


Gee, I wonder what this movie is inspired by?


On the Wii we have a "game" that I thought was already available on Wii Ware.


I still think a skunk falls under the creepy category for animals to anthropomorphize.


Is this game still worth playing without the bongos? Can you still use the bongos? The Wii does have GC slots.


This is the kind of game that needed to be made when the Wii was announced. I bet the sword slashing is lame, though.


It's like a puzzle game, WITH RPG ELEMENTS! [TM]

A Look at the Summer Movies 2009

I almost forgot to do this and it's already May. Better get this done now.



The One Movie I Would See If I Could Only Choose One:


Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: I'm amazed by these movies. I saw the first two films before I read the movies and they were a lot of fun. And the bigger the books got the movies were able to keep up without sacrificing too much narrative. Spoiler alert: There's no prince in this movie!



Movies I Want To See A LOT:


Star Trek 11: Officially Star Trek, but I'm calling it Eleven anyway. This movie is an EXTREEEEEEEEEME revamp of the original crew. This is NOT YOUR FATHER'S STAR TREK, but apparently in a good way unlike Enterprise. Despite the pretty boyness of Kirk and Spock, I'm hoping that they don't screw this up. Featuring a cameo appearance of Leonard Nimoy and not Shatner because one directed Three and Four and the other directed Five. Please guys, don't screw this up. I want them to start making more techno-babble filled ST series! Heck, I bet this film is a hit because the summer is so weak.



Movies that I Might See If Someone Offered:


X-Men Origins: Wolverine: The X-Men films have been good, but I'm worried that it's run its course by this poin. At least I hope this movie drops the preachy tone of the other films.


Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaur: The other two Ice Age films aren't great, but they've been surprisingly good. Should be a descent follow up.


Public Enemies: Especially if they talk in stereotypical Edward G Robinson fashion. Myeh, see?!



Movies I'm Indifferent to:



Terminator Salvation: The only Terminator movie I've seen is the second one when it was shown on network TV. It was good but I doubt that the series is getting any better without the governator.


Angels and Demons: Is this really where you want to go with your career now, Hanks? Ok, whatever.



Battle for Terra: This movie has been out for two years now and is only getting a US release this summer. To show you how little faith I have in this film, let me poin out that this movie is out NOW and I didn't notice it on Monday when I was looking at films.


Orphan: Evil creepy girl movie. I guess they didn't even give her a cool evil creepy name like Damien.



G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: I was never a fan of G.I. Joe growing up, so this is lost on me. But why did they bother making this if they didn't want to make the heroes American?


Land of the Lost: Because that movie based on Lost in Space did so well! (Note: For some reason I have Lost in Space and Land of the Lost as two similar series in my brain, so the joke probably only works to me. Thank you for your patience.)


Now Obligatory CGI Movies:



Up: This is a Pixar movie about an old man who flies around in his house to travel exotic lands. I'll have to admit that it wouldn't interest me if it was done by anybody but Pixar.


Aliens in the Attic: Ok, so this is techinally not a CGI movie, but it feels like it should be. The interesting part is that one kid wears an Activision Grand Prix shirt for no apparent reason. I guess some kids still appreciate 30 year old games.





Sequels In Series I haven't Seen At All:


Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: This might be fun. Hope the museum looks like the real thing even though I doubt it will due to security reasons. Oh well. I used to go to the Smithsonian on field trips.



Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: I was sad to see the first movie not fall flat on its face. Hopefully this one will be so stupid that it pisses off Otaku nerds.



Final Destination: Death Trip: They're still making these movies? Didn't the first movie rest on the premise that John Denver's music will kill everyone? What a dumb series.



H2: Poiny thing goes in squishy part. Why the hell did they reset this franchise? Was Halloween Resurrection really that bad? And will H3 be completely unrelated to Michael Myers?



The Heck!?



G-Force: Beverly Hills Chihuahau with gerbils instead of dogs. Disney, please get on your hands and knees and thank whatever god you believe in for the fact that you still own Pixar.


Funny People: Adam Sandler finds laughter in situations involving terminally ill people. Because this worked so well with Robin Williams in Patch Adams.





No. Flipping. Way.



Year One: This year's Jack Black movie. Sorry, I just can't stand him.


Imagine That: An Eddie Murphy movie where...Eddie Murphy is still allowed to make movies?


Food, Inc.: Another film that teaches us that eating fat foods will make us fat. GET OUT OF TOWN!!! (Damn you, Spurlock! I blame you.)







Closing: Boy, this summer really misses Marvel. I can't wait until the 2010 blockbuster season.

Another Tork mention!

I was mentioned in another GoNintendo podcast from several weeks ago. I get mentioned in Episode 186 during the last 20 minutes.

That was a song I sent in about a year before during the winter. The song was appropriate for the season.