The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 1: Chapter 9

Welcome back to more of this!

BOG is so hard to photograph. I dodged the hell out of this picture and you can still barely see him.

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

I'm trying to say that EA didn't worry too much about the logistics of taking pictures of black people when they made this game. So. What are you doing. Feeding Hero?

"Yeah. Somehow I just knew I'd end up being the one raising this kid. That lazy cow upstairs won't drag her ass out of bed before noon."

Oh, stop it. This is maybe only the second feeding you've had to do.

"Yeah, ok. Leaving now."


Ok, wurwolf. BOG wussed out. Time for you to change the diaper.

"Oh, yeah? Hmm. Yeah, I'll get right on that right--- WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD THAT BE??"

What?? Where?? I don't see any--



Oh, you bitch.


"Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Sprayin' my butt!! Wooo!!!"

wurwolf, if you're going to be out here, at least do something useful.


"Oh, fine. (...stupidragglefrackinmurgleburgle...)"


It is Hero's birthday! And now he is a toddler! There he is!


He looks almost part Asian, even though his father wasn't. Maybe it's just a toddler thing.


He also tends to photograph kind of evil.


It's a little worrying.



Hero isn't the only one who has a birthday to think about! The next day, it's BOG's turn!

BOG is a loner and isn't into parties, so he doesn't care if he just ages naturally. wurwolf likes parties, though, and has the party perk that makes all her parties legendary. I put her on the phone and let her make the guest list for BOG's party.


For BOG's birthday party, wurwolf invites her best friend Bree (who hasn't finished loading yet), that dude she's cheating on BOG's dad with,


BOG's aunt Angie (I was thinking maybe she's settled down since her crazy youth and gave her another chance. You can't tell, but she did not feel that this occasion was worth showering for and is being followed by a cloud of stinkiness),


BOG's girlfriend (I think her name is Andrea?), and BOG's girlfriend's sister, who are both unhappy to be standing in Angie's vapor trail.


Look at that thousand yard stare. wurwolf is already regretting inviting Angie to this shindig.


"Guh-huh! Hi! How are you?"

"Tee hee! Hi! I'm good! How are you?"

"Hee hee! I'm good! Hee hee!"

Ah, teenagers in love. It's all kind of cute and gross at the same time.

Hey! It's Girlfriend's birthday today, too! I know! What are the odds?! (We're aging via magical birthday cake, so the odds are what I tell them to be.)

It's Ladies First, so I send her to the birthday cake before BOG.


Wow, random clothing chooser thing, that is a terrible thing to do to a woman on her birthday.


Look at Angie's head peeking out behind wurwolf like a devil on her shoulder. You just know who to blame if wurwolf says or does anything obnoxious for the rest of the party. Fight it, wurwolf!


"Wow. Are you really going to eat that slice of cake, dear? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It's my BIRTHDAY, Ms. Bumblefudge!!"



Wow. The clothing chooser REALLY hates this poor girl. I'll have to do something about this some time.


What the hell is Angie doing?

"HA HA!!! Look at the birthday boy! What are you gonna do, little birthday boy? You gonna blow out the candles on your stupid little birthday boy cake? Ha ha!!! Sounds like something a lame little birthday boy would do!!!"

Wow. What a bitch.



Undaunted by the taunts of his aunt, BOG proceeds with the birthday cake aging ritual.

Oh, good God no. I know you can't see it, but I can, and this will NOT last. To the mirror right--


Oh. Gotta choose the Lifetime Wish. Master of the Arts seems right up BOG's alley, so I go for that. Notice how he also got the Writer option that was denied to wurwolf.

Ok, Buddy, NOW you gotta get over to that mirror--

"Um, Boggy? Didn't she tell you to go change your clothes and hair? Like a few times?"

"Yep."

"I hear her frantically clicking right now."

"It's my birthday. I want to eat some cake."

"You just know she's going to start calling you Fabio any moment now."

"Oh, fine!"


And here's the new Young Adult BOG! I lightened up his hair a bit, and though I looked through the facial hair options, all the goatees looked terrible, so BOG keeps his teenage soulpatch.

Come back next time when BOG takes over as Bumblefudge heir and head of house! It's been a busy day, but everybody is happy and all is right with the world!

Take care!

This Week In Entertainment (9/29/09)

My Pick of the Week is this animated movie about Batman and Superman teaming up against President Lex Luthor. I'm not a comic book fan and I wasn't really a fan of Lois and Clark or the nineties Superman cartoon, so I still think of Lex Luthor as the guy who wears the green and purple supervillian suit. So he would be the best president ever. Supposedly he uses a crisis against an overly reactive Superman, and I'm sure Batman has to clean everything up.



In theaters this week is 3D versions of Toy Story and Toy Story 2. I'm not sure how it happened, but 3D movies have become a hot, niche thing. They're even making new 3D HD televisions. I think the whole thing is silly but I will admit that 3D has improved since red/blue days of the fifties. I went to a ride at Busch Garden's where you feel like weapons are being thrown at your face without you getting a headache. Since the Toy Story movies are great, I wouldn't mind seeing them again with a silly gimmick. I just hope SOMEBODY doesn't screw up the inevitable third movie currently being made. Sigh.

Also in theaters is Zombieland. A movie about zombies. And land. Hey Woody, running away from a character isn't much different than playing the same character over and over again.


On DVD is Monsters and Aliens. I haven't seen it but it should be worth watching for the fifty foot woman character alone.

The seventieth anniversary of the Wizard of Oz gives them an excuse to milk more money out of the movie. Fine by me. Still love it and watch it once every year or so.

I never watched this show, but was it really necessary to announce on this box that the season (or select episodes) deal with these aging women hitting menopause? I know it's a drama, but really.

Remember the 80s? Here's the first four Police Academy movies advertised as fan favorites. A) They picked the first four movies, which means that the series ran out of steam afterwards, so they didn't have to pick the fan favorites. B) Were these movies really that great, or did they strike a nerve one year, and were able to coast a few more times? I bet the latter, and I doubt there's a huge amount of Police Academy fans.

I've never even heard of this Christmas movie. Is this even a muppets-muppets movie? I guess at least it has Statler and Waldorf on the cover, but I think the muppets are in trouble when their background hecklers are starting to become the most popular characters.



On the Wii is Dead Space Extraction. I have no idea what Dead Space is, but this game takes that and turns it into a rail shooter! Yay?

On the DS is Kingdom Hearts 358/2. Because we haven't had enough of this fan-wanking series about Disney characters meeting Final Fantasy characters, button smashing fighting, and ... ah, who cares? If I but it it will only be for pretty DS graphics.

The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 1: Chapter 8

All right! We're back! Of course, it's been at least a month since I've played this, so we'll see where we are.


AGGGHHH!!! THE FURNITURE!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OUR FURNITURE!!!


Oh. There it is. How about those load times, huh?

"Hey, speaking of load times..."


"I think this one is just about up!"

Yipes! Looks like it's almost time to meet the Spare!


You can't tell in this poorly lit shot, but wurwolf just climbed into a car. Off to the hospital with her!


Hey, BOG! Your mom is going to the hospital to give birth to your new baby brother or sister. Don't you want to go support her?

"Nah. I got my own problems. *SIGH*"

...Ok. It's getting a little Emo in here. Let's see how wurwolf is.


The game picked the Spare's first traits, but Brave and Artistic are both nice ones. Thanks, game!


"So, what? Why am I in here? Were you hoping I'd hold this fruit of my mother's faithlessness and my heart would melt?"

Aww, come on. It's not the kid's fault. Besides, look at his little face!

"Whatever. It's time for me to go to school. Mom can feed this thing."

...fine.

wurwolf! Come take care of your baby!


"Oh, ugh!!! Has there ever been a kid that didn't suck?"

Come on, wurwolf, I know I gotta let you guys live your lives, but I'm trying to tell a nice story here. If I can't get BOG to care about this baby, I was at least hoping you'd try to do a better job with this one than you did with the last one.

"Yeah, just keep hoping, Pollyanna."

...

:o(


Sally Bumblefudge is dead! DEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hey, look! BOG brought a little friend home from school! That's nice!


"Pff! Little?! That's a laugh."

"Mom, quit embarrassing me! I'm trying to make a friend here!"

"Oh, don't worry, Son. I'm not the worst mom ever, no matter what you might sing at strangers in the park. See? I'm even fixing you guys some grilled cheese."

"...Thanks, Mom, I guess that's nice."

"Looks like I'm gonna have to make some more than I thought."

"What?"

"I'm saying it looks like your friend will want a lot of food. On account of she's such a fata--"

"MOOOOM!!!"

"What?"

"What's that noise?"

"Oh, that's just the fire alarm."



"AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! THE FIRE ALARM???? WHAT THE HELL, MOM, ARE YOU SERIOUS????"

"Oh, relax, you big baby. You always were a whiner."

"HOW ON EARTH DO YOU START A FIRE JUST BY MAKING GRILLED CHEESE????"


"It's really not a big deal. You never were able to keep your cool. They wouldn't have invented fire extinguishers if they didn't expect this to happen."


"There. It's fixed. Honey, I know you might be at a place where you think your options are limited, but are you sure you like this kid? I think he just crapped his pants."

"MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!

"Er... Ms. Bumblefudge? Um... I think maybe the fire isn't out yet... maybe..."


"Oh, for fuck's sake!"


"There! Beat the fire department to putting out the fire! Would a 'bad mom' be able to do that?"

"A good mom wouldn't have started the fire in the first place."

"I should wash your mouth out with soap."


"Wow. That was pretty freaky. My mom always does this. She always takes everything good that's happening for me and ruins it."

"Um, can we talk about something else besides your mom? Like ever?"

"I'm sorry. It's just my MOM almost set us both on FIRE. That makes an impression. But what do you want to talk about?"

"Got any pot?"

"What?"

"Um, I mean... I think you're hot?"

"Well... thanks... actually, I think you're kind of pretty, too. I mean, your face is... er *cough* I mean, you know, I've never met a girl before quite like--"

"OH, GEEZUM CROW HAVE I GOT TO PEE!! MY BACK TEETH ARE FLOATING OVER HERE!! LOOK AT MY EYEBALLS, ARE THEY TURNING YELLOW???"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!"

"Will you STOP worrying about your mom?!"

"But I--"



"MMPF!!"

"Woo!! Go Boggy!! You got an extra large sack of sugar over there!!"

"MMMoMMPH!!!!!"


Ahhh, young love. So beautiful. So touching.

That's it for now! Take care!

I come here today

not to weep for the Redskins but to bury them.


Go to hell, Snyder.

Olie the Goalie retired

This picture is of bad quality but I include it because it was one of my favorite moments from the Washington Capitals '98 Stanley Cup run. It might have been game 6 of the semifinals and this kept the game tied so the Caps could later win it. I loved how he kicked the puck away with his toe.

Enjoy retirement! Too bad you guys never made it back and it was sad the way the franchise disposed of you towards the end.