Video Game Nerds are Freaken Retarded

Ok, last year I made a mock post about a recent video game controversy. It was about some stupid crap about a long time video game reviewer at gamespot.com who was supposedly fired for giving a mediocre review to a game called Kane & Lynch. Eidos, the company who either made it or put it out on the market had bought up plenty of ads during the week of the game's release.

The controversy was so big that it reached gonintendo.com, the only blog I really follow about video games. I followed it for a day or so and thought it was so dumb that I wrote the above post. I mean, there were idiots who were denouncing capitalism because of a VIDEO GAME REVIEW! I don't know why we were then suddenly talking about the integrity of gamespot when it still hosted the perfect score for Chrono Cross. Please.

Anyway, I think part of the controversy was started by Penny Arcade, the stupid "gamer" comic. (My sister likes that comic and so does a lot of nerds, but I can't stand it. Everytime I sit down and give it a chance I end up reading a few comics before walking away wondering what's so great about it. Sure, it's better than the millions of knock-off comics, but I wouldn't mind seeing Penny Arcade going if it could mercifully take away CAD or Dueling Analogs.)

So anyway, they made a stink about video game journalism. Pfft. As if regular journalism was so sacred. Doesn't the phrase "video game journalism" make you want to laugh out loud?

You know what reviews I read? I read the lowest scored reviews at gamefaqs and decide if the game is right for me. A negative review can say far more than a gushing review. I've learned long ago to read video game reviews without becoming a marxist or a self-proclaimed white knight of all video games.

So now Eidos is apparently at it again. The latest Tomb Raider has apparently gotten bad reviews (I haven't checked but I already own the Wii version). So the newest Penny Arcade is about Eidos's PR guy admitting that he's trying to make the reviews seem better.

May I ask a question? Who is Penny Arcade to poin fingers? Look at this review from four years ago for Jak 2. That was a game that got everything wrong, and yet here one of the two morons are talking it up as a brave and PERFECT sequel. I could write a book about how bad that game is. Naughty Dog must have written them a big check for that review.

I was once at a gamespy thread about 25 overrated games. In the list there was an entry for Donkey Kong Country. Well, Penny Arcade didn't like that, and drew this comic. Note the dishonest bait and switch in the comic. In the first panel the moron is talking about overhyped/overrated games, which is what the list was about. In the third panel, he accuses gamespy of saying that Donkey Kong Country was a bad game. I poined out that the comic was lying in the thread connected to the post, and some outraged nerd told me that Penny was the most unbiased blah blah blah.

I told you this anecdote because I believe it represents the kind of video game nerd who reads Penny Arcade. They actually believe that they're unbiased!! HELLOOOOOOO!!!!! Let's review. Video game magazines, websites, and so forth make money through advertisements. Most of those advertisements come from video game companies trying to sell their games. If there's a conflict of interest, it comes from video game magazines giving good reviews to overhyped, heavily advertised games.

However, and here's the poin of this long, unwiedly post. Penny Arcade is not unbiased. While magazines get their revenue from ads, Penny Arcade gets its revenue from the "gamers" themselves. (Well, there are a few video game ads on the side of their webpage, but I'll politely leave them out.) Here's a store filled with tshirts and old comics. You know why gamers will become zealots over a freaken webcomic? Because the webcomic knows how to massage their sweet spots. Penny Arcade will tell them what they want to hear, so if you attack Penny Arcade, you attack them.

Look at the Wii. The Wii had a lot of people excited, so Penny Arcade jumped on the bandwagon. The PS3 was getting nothing but bad press, so the guys touted the "Wii60" as the way to go. What happened after the last E3 when most gamers were upset at Nintendo? A bright shiny comic about how rich and arrogant Nintendo was for not making the kind of games that PA fans liked. How dare Nintendo try to actually win the console generation!!!! Don't they know that they're only allowed to make hardcore games, whatever that means?!?!! (I guess the checks from Nintendo ran out.)

And excuse for me for thinking that it's hard to be unbiased when you have your own game out. At that poin it's hard not to be a part of the establishment and not some independent voice against it.

It's actually a bit scary how morons get these kind of followings. Look at the gamespy comic again. The middle panel has the character saying that he's going to remove a gamespy tool (service?) because gamespy said that one of his favorite games wasn't as great as the hype*. Now, how many people do you think read the comic religiously and decided to remove this service or badmouth gamespy? What if gamespy lost a bit of money because of this? Are they going to start catering to the PA crowd? (They did in another post about 25 biggest mistakes.) How can you bitch about gaming journalism when you go around basically threatening to take away readers from journalists because they disagree with you? (I guess this is what happen when you're fighting over people who think "Do a barrel roll!" is hilarious.)

(* - I agree with gamespy. It was just a platformer with bulgy sprites. It was ok but I never bought it because I was disappoined after renting it.)

The PA guys need to get over themselves. I like their charity and I've donated some money to it but I've never cared for the rest their work. They're not endearing me to them by being a self-annoited guardian. Many gamers will be angry at Eidos for subpar games, but guess what? Eidos will get a bad reputation and lose money until it gets better or goes the way of Acclaim. Did we need gamers to tell us that Acclaim sucked? Nope.


I will now end this post with a link to a good comic.