A Look at the Summer Movies 2008

Once again I'm going to look at the upcoming summer blockbuster movies. I'm including May since I can. I guarantee that this post will be better than your butt.



The One Movie I Would See If I Could Only Choose One:

The Dark Knight - I loved Batman Begins. It blew away the previous Batman movies unless you count the Adam West one. I know it's become a cliche where superhero movies have long, bloated origins stories, but Batman really needed one. I also liked Michael Caine as Alfred. There's something in the trailer where he urges Bruce to fight that I liked. I just wish the actor who played the Joker hadn't died because now I feel bad about anticipating this movie which will do well thanks to his overdosing.




Movies I Want To See A LOT:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - This is clearly a movie that people will see for the sake of seeing, and not because of the movie itself. Still, even though I'm going to lower my expectations I still want to see it, despite the fact that I can never remember its title. The trailer seems a bit too jokey, even if the whole series is suppose to be tongue-in-cheek. I'm going to miss Sean Connery.

This movie takes place during the fifties, so hopefully old Indiana Jones kicks Commie butt in this one. Come on, say it! "Commies, I hate these guys."



Hellboy II: The Golden Army - I never heard of Hellboy before I saw the first movie but it was pretty good. It helps that I find Selma Blair really attractive, and she's returned for this one. Hopefully this movie will be as fun as the first one. Ron Perlman was great just smoking a cigar.



Movies that I Might See If Someone Offered:

Iron Man - Once again, it's a superhero movie where I don't know much about the superhero. I'm almost indifferent to it but I'll give it a shot. It should be fun just to see Iron Man fly around, I guess.


Get Smart - I'm aware that this movie will probably suck badly. I'll probably end up seeing it anyway. I actually liked the FOX reunion show when it briefly aired. I have no taste.



The Incredible Hulk - Again, I'm almost indifferent to this movie, but hopefully they learned their lesson from the first movie and will cut out the crap that made it so boring. We'll see.





Movies I'm Indifferent to:

What Happens in Vegas - Back in 1994 I had a huge crush on Cameron Diaz after I saw The Mask. She hasn't appeared in a movie I wanted to see since. This movie stars her and Ashton Kutcher, which is a strike against it in my book. And isn't the "what happens in Vegas" joke already old?


The X-Files: I Want To Believe - I Want To Avoid. (I never saw the tv series.)



Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D - Never heard of it, BUT IT'S IN 3D! WOW!



Now Obligatory CGI Movies:

Kung Fu Panda - This movie has two strikes against it in my view. A) It stars Jack Black, who annoys me. B) It's a Dreamworks animated film, which means it'll remind us over and over again how it's WAAAAAAAY cooler than that dumb, unhip Disney! It may be watchable, but I'll pass.



WALL-E - Why am I getting a Short Circuit vibe when I see that robot? I don't even remember what that movie was about, nor do I remember if I saw the whole movie. Anyway, this is from Pixar so it's got to be at least good.




Sequels In Series I haven't Seen At All:

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - I've been wanting to see the original movie but I haven't got around to it. I've seen other versions of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I have read this book, so at least I know what it's about. Still, I should watch the original just to have an idea what this one will be like.



The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 - Whatever. (Actually, let me take the moment to poin out that the entire month of August looks terrible. Look at this page and tell me if there's anything worth watching or even commenting about. I can't find any.)



The Heck!?

Speed Racer - Why would you want to take anime and make it live action? It doesn't make sense. Anime is just to weird and badly drawn and badly paced and badly animated for anybody to look at it and go, "Hey, this would be great if it was live action!" And I'll probably see this anyway. I've never seen an episode of this show but my parents have.


You Don't Mess With Zohan - Adam Sandler is an Israeli commando who fakes his death so he can go to New York and cut hair. The question is, who funded this film? Hamas or Fatah?


Meet Dave - You know a movie is going to be bad when it's renamed to be as bland sounding as possible. I'm placing this movie here if only because it seems to soon for Eddie Murphy to star in another sci-fi-com. Or, sci-fi-"com". I would only see this because Bill Corbett has a writing credit.



No. Flipping. Way.


Sex In The City: The Movie - Never saw the show, never going to given the title and the fact that the main character is Sarah Parker. (HAW! I didn't include your middle name! Now you're like the rest of us!) It seems too soon for the movie but how would I know? I would like to hear Crow's take on the movie.


The Love Guru - I'm am so not a fan of Mike Myers. The poster alone is enough to rank the movie all the way down here.





See ya next year!