Happy New Year's, Everybody

Thus concludes my obligatory recognition of popular holiday.

Try not to die of alcohol poisoning tonight!

This Week In Entertainment (12/29/09)

There isn't much out this week. I'll make a WiiWare my Pick of the Week. In this case, it's Castlevania: The Adventure Rebirth. It's ten bucks for a remake of a Game Boy game. Just in time for Hallo...the New Year!


Also out this week is a documentary about Beer Pong. Told you it was a quiet week.

Are you tired?

I'm tired.

Are you tired?

I'm tired.

Are you tired?

I'm tired.

Are you tired?

I'm tired.

Are you tired?

I'm tired.

Are you tired?

I'm tired.

Tork's Picks Week 16

Will this stupid season please end? I'll take San Diego over Tennessee tonight. (Does it even matter? I doubt the Titans have a chance at the playoffs and the Chargers already wrapped up the bye week, right?)



I missed both the 1 and 4 o'clock games, so those all count as misses. That leaves me with both night games.


I'll take Dallas over Washington.
And Minnesota over Chicago

Merry Christmas, Y'all

Hope you enjoy the Holidays. Sorry for the lack of Advent Calendar this year but I ran out of ideas. Maybe better luck next December.

This Week In Entertainment (12/21/09)

Just for the sheer lunacy of it. I'll pick Sherlock Holmes as my Pick of the Week. Sure, why not? Mystery movies need more action or something. I wonder if we'll start seeing action Hercule or action Jessica Fletcher or action Columbo. "Just one more question....BAM!"


Whoever thought up the word squeakquel should be unemployed for a long time. Mean to say, but it's how I feel.

Also, last week was Avatar. It's the new Final Fantasy movie.


Out on DVD, EAT THE COOKIE! EAT IT! EAT THE COOKIE!


On the Virtual Console is Super Smash Bros. Yeah, don't release that a few weeks before Brawl to whet our appetites, Nintendo.

Tork's Blog Cancelled

On account of snow.

If you find my frozen body don't let me thaw until they finally make affordable flying cars. Or something just as cool.

Rifftrax Live Open Thread

I'm going to see the second Rifftrax show tonight. Because Thursday is better than Wednesday.



I'll have my thoughts on the show afterwards.

Tork's Picks Week 15

I'll pick Indianapolis over Jacksonville for tonight. I think they are going to try for the perfect season.




The rest of my picks later.


I'll pick New Orleans over Dallas tonight.


Rest of my Picks:

NE over Buffalo
Arizona over Detroit
Miami over Tenn
KC over Cle
Houston over StL
Atl over NY Jets
-
Den over Oak
SD over Cin
Phi over SF
GB over Pit
Sea over TB
Baltimore over Chicago
-
Minn over Car
-
NY Giants over Washington

This Week In Entertainment (12/14/09)

This is cheating, but My Pick of the Week is Zelda: Spirit Tracks which actually came out last week. Whoops. I'm no good at this blog thing.


Also out this week on DVD is The Sherlock Holmes Collection. This pitiful set lacks action.


Also Blaster Master and Earthworm Jim came out for the Virtual Console.






Yeah, my heart wasn't into it this week. Next week I'll get it right.

Finally, Rifftrax Live

No, not the upcoming Christmas one. I haven't mentioned it because I don't know if I'll go. I'm not in the mood right now.

No, I mean the last Rifftrax Live is available for DVD. I will pick this up when I can.


I wonder if it was intentional that this was announced on the same day as the CT DVD. Probably a big coincidence.

Tork's Picks Week 14

I pick Steelers over Browns tonight. Duh.


Rest of the picks later.


And I'm back. My picks are:

New Orleans over Atlanta
GB over Chicago (Unless Cutler is hit by a bus and some grandma is put in uniform.)
Ind over Denver
KC over Buffalo
Cin over Minnesota (Come on Bengals! Get that second seed.)
NE over Car
NYJ over TB
Jac over Mia
Bal over Det
Sea over Houston
-
Tenn over StL
Was over Oak (Battle of the horrible owners! Who knows? Al Davis might actually live Snyder.)
Dal over SD
-
Phi over NYG
-
Ari over SF

Cinematic Titanic returns!

I just got an email saying that they're finally releasing new CT DVDs. In this case they're grabbing a recording of one of their live shows. The movie is a kung fu flick named East Meets Watts. I'm pretty sure that's not close to the original translation.


I'll be honest. I still haven't watched the last two episodes. The first few episodes were Ok but no single episode could really resonate with me. And they kept doing 70s horror which they may like but I tend to find that just too nihilistic to be enjoyable. So I was looking forward to them making fun of a kung fu movie. I'd prefer that they would do this as a regular episode but maybe the live show will be ok.

I recently watched the Rifftrax version of the first Matrix movie, and the best part was when they made fun of the fighting, so this should be a break out episode for the Titans. Let's hope I get off my lazy butt and review this when I get my hands on it.

This Week In Entertainment (12/8/09)

My Pick of the Week is The Princess and the Frog. I could have swore that I listed it a week or two ago but now I'm promoting it to the top to make sure it doesn't get pulled back again. (In hindsight, I think RT just screwed up. I do remember commenting on the oddness of it's position.) Given the subject it should be fun just reading the reviews.


Also out this week on DVD is a whole lot of Harry Potter. First, we have the latest Harry Potter (The sixth movie. Two more to go.) In this one everybody gets paired up and Voldemort gets a weakness out of nowhere.

If you want more Harry they now have ultimate editions of the first two movies. I've said they should have made these before but I'm not about to double dip for a dozen or so minutes of footage they cut out.

Christmas sure does get in trouble a lot. Now it needs a dog to save it. Still waiting for the technology to allow you to create your own _____ Saves Christmas scenario.

Are they really friends if you eat them all?

There's no Wayans sibling in this DVD!


On Wii is Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. I think it's remake of the original.

The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 3: Chapter 1

I have a paper due tomorrow morning, so I guess it's as good a time as any to throw up another one of these things.

Welcome back!


The new head of the Bumblefudge family is Onil. His first act as an adult is to go to town and get himself a job.


It is a job for which he is almost entirely unsuited in every way, but RL Onil once told me that he wanted his Sim Self to be a cop and wear a cool black trench coat, so there it is.

(To be honest, the trench coat I downloaded is not at all cool, but there is only so much I can do.)


Sim Onil, you may remember, wants to be the best at chess. He just invited this guy over for his first ever chess challenge. They make with some small talk to break the ice, then Onil goes inside to pee, since I don't think Onil's pissing all over himself during the match will incite just the right note of terror in his opponent.


What-- Hey! You jerk! You JERK! You will pay for this! Prepare for humiliation!


Beat him, Onil! Kick his ass! Restore the family honor!


Something about the look on Onil's face tells me that he did not restore the family honor.

Rematch, Onil! Right now! Do not let this buttface leave until you have destroyed him!

Victory is ours!

Wow, this whole chess thing is boring. I don't see myself completing this lifetime want.

Let's invite some chicks over.



Before I do that, though, here's some boring exposition. Before we started this Legacy, I promised RL wurwolf I'd let her pick Sim Onil's future Sim spouse. In return, she agreed to get those lawyers she works with and sic them on Tork since he promised me a million dollars and has yet to give me a dime.

I AM KEEPING UP MY END, WURWOLF.

So I got Onil that reward where everybody he invites to a party has to show up no matter what, and the party is always a success even if he takes a dump on the birthday cake (which I realize may be a plus in some circles of the Internet). Then I invited over every girl Onil knows who is a teen or young adult.

Having lots of people in one place makes the game lag like crazy, so don't expect a detailed personality report here. I mainly had to point the camera on real-estate with no Sims in it to keep things moving.


I made everybody dress in formal wear, since I want these women to put their best feet forward. Our first bachelorette is Josephine Jones. She likes the decor, I guess.

The next bachelorette was Joann Watson-Traylor, who I could have sworn I took a picture of. Can't find it now, though. My notes say that she wears a flower in her hair and a long leather skirt. Not too helpful. I don't remember what her face was like, but it wasn't unusually pretty or ugly.

The third guest to arrive was Brandy Ray. Now, I don't know if he's a party crasher or if his girly name and hair fooled me at the invite panel, but here he is. And since boys can't have babies with boys, he's not in the running for Onil's spouse. Sorry, Brandy.


Now I KNOW I took another picture of the chick featured here, but it's gone now. Stupid lag! She'll turn around in a second, though, and then you'll see her.

Don't know what Brandy's problem with Josephine is. Maybe he's jealous that she has a better shot at Onil than he does.

The girl on the left is Karyn Ray-Durant. I suspect she might be Brandy's sister or something. Nice bitchface, Karyn.



It's Andrea's birthday today. Look at her face. It's so sad when they know just how much the transition is about to suck.

Well, it's not great, but by the standards of this game it's not bad. Just look at what the game did to poor wurwolf.

She'll still need a makeover, naturally. The game was too laggy with the party going on to do it right away, though. You'll see it in the next update.


You can see Joann "Mystery Date" Watson's back here. The old lady in the background was not invited but came anyway. Old ladies can't have babies, so she is not in the running to be Onil's wife.

This sullen Asian-looking chick I forgot I invited is Brittany Bellamy.

You may recall that BOG's birthday is the same as Andrea's. He's aging up right now! I won't capture the sparkles, though, because the game is so slow. Yay!


Lookin' good, Grandpa. He too will be getting a makeover, but you won't see it in this update.

His first want as an oldster is to retire. I will grant this wish, but not until he hits the top rung of his career ladder.

Brittany is working on homework. PAAAARRRRTYYYY!!!!!!


So! wurwolf! Who do you wish Onil to marry? Josephine "Hair Poof" Johns? Joann "Mystery Date" Watson-Traylor? Karyn "Bitchface" Roy-Durant? Brittany "The Asian" Bellamy? Pick one and I will do my best to hook her up with Onil. I reserve the right to go after somebody else, though, if the #1 pick turns out to be married or something, so you might also want to pick a #2.

That's it for now!

Take care.

Six of Three

No, I'm not talking about a Borg. The other day I saw a book in the library called "And Another Thing..." It's the sixth Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Book, only written by another author.


Since I read the other five books (and the two Dirk Gently novels) because Lita recommended them, let's see if I can recap them. This will be off the top of my head.




The first book is Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Let me just say that I know that the radio programs were first but we're not going to consider them canon. Ok, nerds? Basically Arthur Dent is a normal guy who ends up being one of two survivors of the destruction of earth. A friend who is actually an alien rescues him and they end up on a stolen space ship that travels the galaxy. They join the president of the galaxy, a depressed robot, and the other surviving human and the book eventually becomes about the disappointing answer to the big questions about life. Throughout the book we get readings from a pda like device that tells us necessary and amusing exposition. There's no subplot about a feelings gun or a sore loser for the presidency. Which is for the best.

Author Douglas Adams must have had big problems with bureaucrats at the time because they are the villain that moves the plot along. The novel starts with Arthur's house getting bulldozed for unfair reasons, and then quickly parallels it with an alien race that bulldozes earth for very similar reasons. The Vogons disappear from the novel after Arthur and Ford escape them but they their decision to bulldoze the earth plays a big part in the end of the novel and the rest of the series.

This novel is very funny and you can see why it became a cult novel among nerds. (Again, forget the radio series.) All of the best bits of the 2005 movie were from the novel. (I actually liked the movie but where it goes wrong is when it tries to invent new stuff.) It's been a while since I read it so I'm not sure I can remember much beyond the best gags.


The second novel is Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy. Still pretty good, but not as good as the first one. The novel is picks up after the end of the first one and has the group going to a restaurant where the universe repeatedly ends. After some stuff happens the crew is split up and we get two plots for the rest of the novel. The first one involves the president of the galaxy and his human girlfriend trying to find the guy in charge of everything. Like the Ultimate Answer, it's a tad disappoining. Arthur and his alien friend Ford end crashing on a mysterious planet.

I remember liking this novel but it's a bit disjointed if I remember correctly. Not that there's anything wrong with an A-story and B-story, but it's now about two things instead of one. I can't even remember who the antagonists in the B-story were, and I may even be remembering stuff from the third novel and mixing it with this one. It still has some great stuff like the religion waiting for their messiah to the very last moment and the machine that humbles people.


The third novel, Life, The Universe, and Everything, is my favorite. It started strong with an irrelavent chapter about an immortal alien that wanted to insult the universe. Afterwards, it picked up where the second novel ends with Arthur and Ford escaping the backwards planet so they can hitchhike again. Then the novel becomes very disjointed with seemingly random chapters about pass characters. At one point we get a great chapter about Arthur escaping a vengeful creature and learning how to fly. In the end, the seemingly random chapters actually fit, which was real surprising.


The fourth novel of the trilogy is So Long and Thanks for All the Fish. Arthur is solo this time and he finds the earth mysteriously reconstructed. Most of the novel is spent on earth as he tries to figure out what's going on and he begins a romance with a woman hinted at in the first novel. I liked this novel even if it wasn't as strong as the others. One moment happens in the novel where Arthur and Fenchurch are flying around and Douglas Adams bluntly asks a question that was just floating in my mind. The novel ends with them hitching a ride and seeing Marvin the Paranoid Android for the last time in the novels. He's a great character so it was nice meeting him one last time.


The fifth novel is Mostly Harmless, and I just didn't like it. It dumps Fenchurch unceremoniously and gets off to a bad start. It brings back Ford and Trillian but it really shouldn't have. Douglas even tries to create another android but it's no Marvin. The novel isn't without it's moments, but it builds up to an ending that just doesn't work the way the third novel did. In fact, it tries to go out with a literal bang, but it just depressed me. Frankly, I'm willing to give the new novel a shot even if it wasn't written by Douglas.


So that's my brief take on the series. Third and the first are the best, second and fourth are worth reading, and meh on the fifth. Let's hope the new author doesn't screw up his chance to write a better ending to the series.

Tork's Picks Week 13

Oops, forgot to pick last night's game between Buffalo and the Jets. Oh well, strike that one against me.


More picks later.


The Redskins will get murdered by the Saints today. I'll also pick:

Phi over Atl
Chi over StL (Although it's fun to root against Cutler)
Cin over Det
Ind over Ten (Nope, I don't think Young can always "just win.")
Den over KC
NE over Mia
Pit over Oak
TB over Car
Jac over Hou
-
SD over Cle
Dal over NYG
Sea over SF
-
Min over Ari
-
Bal over GB

This Week In Entertainment (12/1/09)

My Pick of the Week is expensive but you get a cute figurine with it. It's MST3k Volume XVI and the limited edition comes with a small Tom Servo, just like an earlier set came with a small Crow. This set comes with The Corpse Vanishes, Warrior Of The Lost World, Santa Claus, and Night Of The Blood Beast. I've only seen Warrior of the Lost World and Santa Claus and they're both really good. I think I've seen The Corpse Vanishes unMSTied but haven't seen the season one episode. Hopefully Night of the Blood Beast comes with both sets of host segments.


Also on DVD is a reminder that Disney is releasing a new animated feature. Here's the cheap rip off.

I watched Terminator 3 over the summer and thought it was pretty silly. Here's the follow up which I've heard is worse.

You're only encouraging them to make more lazy seasons of this show. (And how is this set still cheaper than all the Star Trek TV sets?)


On Virtual Console is Tales of Monkey Island Episode 4: The Trial and Execution of Guybrush Threepwood. I've already played it, and while it's good, it sadly doesn't play out like this fan service video.

The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 2: Chapter 10

Welcome back!


This picture isn't actually of anything in particular. Just a placeholder while I tell you about how I got that new patch that's all the rage nowadays. Now I can make basements without doing it the old-fashioned labor-intensive way!

Let's see how it works.


Well, first off, I already have a couple of existing basements.


But the nice thing is, that now it is MUCH easier to get a camera down in here.


So there's not so much fighting to look at all the riches wurwolf gathered during her life.



If I wanted to build a brand new basement, I'd use the basement tool. Here I'm using it to section of a little 5x5 square to be a basement. The results don't look too impressive above ground. Just a colored square on the ground.

Hit the button to go down a story, though...


And you are transported into a horrible yawning black chasm of despair! Also, you can see your basement.


You can add a basement to your basement, too, if you want. You can go down up to four floors.

Ok, now let's undo all this stuff and go back to the Light World. It smells like Tron in here.


It's Alastair's birthday! Happy birthday, Alastair.


Oh. Also another side-effect of the patch is that Sims can now dream, like they used to be able to in Sims 2. I never realized how much I didn't miss dreaming until it was brought back. Now my Sims evenings are so cluttered.


Another promotion for BOG. I believe he's at level 8 now. Each career path has 10 levels.


This garden is kind of big, and is too much work for any one Sim. Now that wurwolf is gone, Onil is learning some gardening so he can pick up the slack.


Speaking of Onil, it's his birthday! He is still as much of an ass as ever, so he once again decides to dislocate his shoulder and age up behind the table.

As you can see, the whole family is deeply excited for Onil and his latest transformation.


Tah-dah!


I don't think it was my fault that Onil did poorly in school. I'd make him do his homework, and he'd do it, but then he wouldn't turn it in or the school wouldn't accept it or something. It was weird and annoying.

Anyway, the game declares that Onil is grumpy. I can't argue with that.


I hate every one of the options given for Onil's lifetime want. I just pick Chess King because. I probably won't put a lot of effort into completing it, and eventually I'll most likely cash in some points to get him a new LTW.


So here's Onil! He is now an adult, and is ready to take his new role as head of the house, so that's where we stop for now.

See you next time!

Take care.

Tork's Picks Week 12

It's Turkey Day! What better way to celebrate than with my dumb football picks

For today I'll take:

GB over Det (I want to see that Browns/Lions game from last week. Who knew it would be so great?)
Dal over Oak
Giants over Den (Two crummy teams, but I think the Giants will win just because the Broncos are crashing and burning.)
-


For the rest of the week, I'll take:

Atlanta over TB
Mia over Buf (Although it would be nice to see Buffalo win after the got rid of Jauron.)
Phi over Was (Please lose Redskins so the Eagles can keep pace with Dallas)
Sea over StL (Boy, do we have a lot of terrible teams in the league.)
Car over NYJ (Unless Carolina passes the ball a lot. Then forget I made this pick.)
Cin over Cle
Ind over Hou
-
SD over KC (Nice win, Denver, but SD is running away with the division)
Jac over SF
Min over Chi
Tenn over Ari (I almost picked the Cardinals, but I forgot that Warner is hurt)
-
Pit over Bal (Two teams coming off tough losses that really hurt their season. Interesting.)
NE over NO (Still rooting for the Saints, but I think the Patriots aren't going to lose another tough game after the Colts one.)


Last Week:
Season:

The Bumblefudge Legacy: Generation 2: Chapter 9

Welcome back!

When last we met we were looking at Hero's family rather than mine, so now I get to switch back to the main Bumblefudge family branch to see how Story Mode has been taking care of them while I was away.


Ah. Food thrown everywhere and BOG is passed out on the floor. Could be worse, I suppose.

I send BOG to bed and go about cleaning up all the food. Then my dog starts to throw up. I rush away from the computer to open the door so my dog can puke outside like nature intended. I didn't have time to pause the game.

When I get back to my Sims, this is what I see:


WURWOLF!!!

Onil is the first to arrive on the scene.

"Excuse me!"

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

"If I could just get by--"

ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY?

"I'm the manmaid du jour. I do think I deserve a front row seat at this thing. Now if you could just get out of my way, buddy."

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM?



Eventually everybody who cares is assembled.


wurwolf goes nicely and Death has no need to slap her around.


Onil, being Onil, is so overcome that he pees himself.


Himself and others. Don't even ask me how he got the puddle all the way over there. I don't want to know.


I bury wurwolf, until her ghost gets too annoying at least, next to the garden she planted and cared for. It seemed appropriate.


"o/`It took way too long
You heard what I said
Ding dong, ding dong,
The bitch is dead!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! o/`"

That doesn't seem very appropriate, BOG.

"It's coming from my heart, Man."



Rambo's a kid now. Hooray! Childcare will now be virtually effort-free until Onil gets around to knocking somebody up!

As a toddler or as a kid, he still doesn't like wearing pants.


Oh, geez. They look exactly the same. I will never ever be able to tell Alastair and Rambo apart again, will I?

"Sure you will. I'll be the one wearing pants."

Oh. Right. Thanks, Alastair.

"I've finished my masterpiece!"

Yeah? I like it. What's it called?

"Mother."

Now, BOG I really don't think that--


"I JUST MISS HER SO GODDAMNED MUCH!!!"

Oh. Well. Ok. There there.


"You kids think your homework is bad now? They're just teaching you your ABCs and shit. A retard can do that. I have to memorize all these bullshit flags. They don't even mean anything."


"So. Is this my room now?"

I guess you can have it. You peed all over it.

"Cool. But I will need a new bed."

What? Why? This one is perfectly good. It's the nicest bed in the house.

"It smells like old lady. Get me a new bed."

You're pushing it, Kid.

"I'm the heir. I want a new bed."


How's this?

"Nice, but it doesn't match the decor."

YOU don't match the decor.

"Just fix it, will you?"

Don't think you won't pay for this.

Does this make you happy, Ass?

"No."

Too bad.



Hero! How could anybody not like you?? You should introduce this Rachel person to Onil. Then she'll know from socially challenged.

Ok, Mr. Couch Potato. Hop on.

"I don't want to."

Too bad. I just signed you up for military school.

"This game doesn't even have military school!

I got a hack and now it does. Now your grades are determined, in part, by your athletic prowess. Get running.

"Ugh! This sucks!"

Keep going until I tell you you can stop.

"Bitch."

What was that?

"Nothing."



BOG just broke the dishwasher and wurwolf is no longer around to fix it for us. We have to hire a repairman and he mostly just stands around like an asshole for a few hours before finally coming inside and taking hours to fix this thing. wurwolf could fix this dishwasher in a flash. I miss her.


Not all the news is bad, though. Look what BOG did!

That's it until next time!

Take care.