E3 for Big N

Three Words: Any objections, lady?



I watched the gamespot feed for the fourth straight year. I was surprised that I had to enter my birthdate.

So the show itself started with Cammie Dunaway. HAW! Take that, whiney nerds afraid of g-g-girls!

She introduced the first game, a Mario one. I've had up and down feelings about. First, she talked about the fourth dimension, thinking that Mario was going through time. But it turns out that she meant the Mario answer to Zelda: Four Swords. At least it doesn't require four Game Boy Advances to play. You play as Mario, Luigi, Blue Toad or Yellow Toad and can turn into some sort of flying Pikmin thing. Hopefully it includes an online option. I have heard that it has the koopalings so at least there's that.

Nice way to start the show but it only whet my appetite. The next thing was Wii Fit Plus. This takes the old Wii Fit and adds new mini-games plus gives you the locker option that allows you to set your own workout. WHICH THE ORIGINAL GAME SHOULD HAVE HAD! Just saying. It comes with and without a Wii Balance Board. I would like the "First Person version of Mario" mini-game. In fact, I'm surprised they didn't show it off.

Next up was Reggie Phils-Amie or whatever. The big guy. He talked about Wii Motion Plus with some skinny nerd. I can't wait for this thing. I'm going to buy Tiger Woods 10 just to get my hands on one. They showed off some Wii Sports Resort games like basketball and archery. Nintendo, PLEASE have a online mode for Wii Sports Resort. I don't think I'm asking for much.

I learned that the speakers suck at playing their games. Just amuses me.

I'm sorry but I'm not remembering much about the whole thing. There was probably some videos that I ignored. Then they started introducing random games:

Final Fantasy: Crystal Bearers. - Gee, thanks Square-Enix for taking one of your generic games and slapping the Final Fantasy logo on it!

Kingdom Hearts: DS - I give up on the dumb series after the awful second game but it does look good for a DS title.

Mario & Luigi 3: Bowser's Inside Story - I love this series but this game is insane. You play the entire game inside Bowser's gut. And I thought they were kidding.

Golden Sun DS: Never played any of these games. I started to get tired of RPGs around the time the GBA was released.


Cammie showed off a game for women, some detective game about some murder novels. I thought it was weird that they were marketing a game about dead women for women.

Then she showed off a stereotypical "girls" game where you play dress up. Wow, I didn't think they would present a game like that at a big conference.


One of the biggest surprises was COP: The Recruit. It's a GTA style game for the DS that looked pretty good. Might have to get that one.

After that they started talking about the DSi. I don't have one so I lost interest. I do like the idea of making your own Wario Ware Mini Game, and I bet it won't be long before we see dirty DIY mini-games posted on the web.

Also DIY Mario Minis. I was excited about that DS game but lost interest in it quickly. Meh.


Then Nintendo president Iwata came on stage. Sadly, this was the worst part of the show. He just went on and on and for once I agreed with the whiney nerds. He showed off a peripheral that could monitor your heart rate. Presumably this is for exercise games but if they tried it for other games it could be interesting. Still, this part went on too long. Nintendo, next year give only one "We rock. We expand audiences. Whatever" speech, ok?


After that they revealed another Mario game. Since it was towards the end of the show, I was joking to myself that the game was MARIO VS ZELDA, but it turned out to be Super Mario Galaxy 2. I'll take that. Good job.

Then they showed off three more games. One was Resident Evil: Dark Chronicles. I bet those Wii shooting RE games are ok but I'd rather have RE5, even if it was severely stripped down. Another was The Conduit. This game might be a make or break game for the Wii's future given all the hype it's gotten. There was a third game I forgot but it was also bloody.

If they had ended it there I would have been satisfied. But then Nintendo finally threw a knock out punch. (Not a moment too late, either. I liked the show but I'm sure most nerds would have been disappoined.) They showed a trailer that mentioned some video game company I wasn't aware of teaming up with Nintendo. At first the trailer showed off generic, 3d anime characters straight out of a Final Fantasy game. Some blonde with a pixie haircut walked around on some space station. Ho hum. Then there was some military guy. Yeah, yeah. "Any objections, lady?"

What?

WHAAAAAT?!

All of a sudden the blonde suddenly had a ponytail and was dressed in the Zero Suit-Samus costume.


YESSSS!

Damn, another Metroid game. This one seems to combine third and first person. Who cares, this game is going to be great. Just watching her jump on Ridley and shooting at his head was great. I hope the story doesn't get in the way of the game.

Show over.



I like this show. I've seen the usual complaints but I think this show was better than 2007 or the infamous 2008 show. Thanks for the Metroid surprise at the end, Nintendo. More of that will keep fans from making up conspiracy theories about you.