I'm not Tork.

Tork's on vacation today and tomorrow so he asked me to write his blog for him while he was away. I was all like, "Cool." He says, "Just introduce yourself or something." And what kind of blog entry is that supposed to look like? "Hi. I'm Lita. I have a couple of other blogs you can check out if you feel like it. Tork decided to make his blog cooler by adding me to the writing staff. You'll see more of me in August when I'm gonna be playing video games for his amusement or something. He's in Delaware. Ok, bye."

Yeah. That's dumb. I decided that if I'm going to be on this blog I should have a feature of some sort and here it is: I'm going to review stuff.

You won't recall Tork's old Tripod website that we don't talk about anymore where I occasionally reviewed GameCube games for him. This will be like that, except with Wii Games, and anything else I happen to feel needs a review. No, I didn't get Tork's ok on this. If he doesn't like it then he should have thought about that before inviting me to join his blog without telling me what it is he expects me to do here.

I can hear you guys right now. You're saying, "But Lita! We don't need you to review Wii games and other random crap for us! We have Tork for that! ... We think. Does Tork review stuff? We don't read this blog." Me neither, my friends. But let me tell you a secret that might help you decide whose reviews to read:

Tork doesn't care about you.

There it is. I said it. Now you have to live with it. It's true, too. Just ask Rimmi and Mickety. They'll agree. Do you think Tork added us because he cares about you? No. Do you, perhaps, think it's because he cares about us? No way. He added us because he didn't feel like writing his own blog. Hey, we all feel like that sometimes. Just check the blogs run by myself, Rimmi, and Mickery if you want to see what that looks like. Tork's too busy being an Internet Fat Cat and rubbing elbows with the likes of the Tron Guy and... the Tron Guy to remember the little people who made him big. But Tork's fame doesn't excuse his boundless apathy. We're all very concerned about Tork. We're thinking of having him committed.

I care about you guys, though. I really do. Each and every one of you. Did I not open my heart and soul to you all by sharing some of my favorite music with you? Yes I did. Because I care. So you can trust me. Next time you feel like you want to read a review of some game that's already been out for a few months, make that my review... assuming that the game you're thinking about is one of the tiny, tiny, tiny percentage of games I have reviewed.

Thanks.