April Non-Specific History Month Essay #1: April Showers

My essay is about Janet Leigh. She is best known for her scandalous performances.

Janet was the only child of her parents. This led her to be an isolated child and eventually helped her when it came time to play roles where she fled into the waiting arms of creepy, murderous transvestites. Janet eventually got a contract from MGM to feed the lion.

She was also hired to do some acting, and she did. She started in the late fourties and made some films that probably aired on AMC when it was good. In the fifties she made even more films. This is a good way to sustain a movie career.

Some of her films of this decade include Houdini, where she played Bess, his eventually wife. This movie taught us that while Houdini could easily escape a open any safe (especially if he was placed inside), the most important safe to open was Bess's heart. Awwww! Janet also starred in a movie about Prince Valient as Princess Aleta. I would give details about this movie but since it's a newspaper comic, nobody reads it and therefore nobody is even sure it exists.

She was also the title character in My Sister Eileen. The movie was going to be about two women who take an unfortunate turn and end up at a motel, but that testing audiences hated the idea so instead the movie is a musical.

In the sixties, Janet played her most famous role, the love interest of Sinatra's brainwashed character. Janet had to be watched for the rest of her life, but thankfully she hasn't betrayed her country to Commies. Yet.

Janet also starred in Psycho. Alfred Hitchcock had bought the rights to a novel that talked about the virtues of relaxing in the bath tub and not rushing everything with a shower. He went on to make a movie that scared people about dumb showers. However, this backfired when people realized that watching a woman shower was very sexy. At this poin Hitchcock renamed his main character to Bates.

Janet was a bright woman. When filming this movie, she was quoted as saying, "The best part of this movie is that someday this will be a big genre that my daughter will get a role in." This was proven true when Jamie starred in Perfect when her aerobic instructor character pulled out a knife and stabbed John Travolta. I think I once saw on a message board some wrote in italics that Jamie Lee's daughter is now starring in torture movies, which goes to show how Janet's granddaughter is following in her footsteps.

In the seventies, Janet starred in her scariest film, "Night of the Lepus." People could not look at the Cadbury Bunny the same way after this film was made. Janet also starred in a Columbo episode, where Peter Falk played as the second creepiest stalker in her entertainment career.

In conclusion, shower scenes rule.