Demo Fun #9

Today's demo is called Panther. It can be found here at the usual site.

The picture is of some sort of rocket/satellite thing with a office building in the background. There's also a couple flying saucers and some clouds. The cloud on the right looks like a woman holding a big fricken gun. It does. The leg gives it away. On top is the name of the team who made this demo, The Meanteam.

The text starts off telling us that the Meanteam persents us how to be a "complete b******d." Yeah, like how to add asterisks to reduce the offensiveness of your mildly profane language! OR, how to write a para demo. Or not. The author is just "snipin' at sum awesome coders." Speaking of being a complete b******d, he hasn't used any periods yet. This is going to be a long one. And before I can recover, he fires this run on sentence at me:

I am writing this message under a total and utterly amazing amount of hassle from STE and JCB to finish this message.

Keep in mind that the demo can only fit about 3 or four words on the screen at a time. Also, I find it interesting that the hassle he got sounds so positive. This is followed by what looks like a bunch of division symbols or maybe lightning strikes.

Then the demo gets real nerdy. He asks us if we just 'luv' his chr set. He says it's from an old super blast(?) called Hellgate. Then the unnamed author tells us that if we think JCB did this demo, we're wrong. Look, I wasn't prejudiced in anyway! Claka is the one who did this. Then JC...Doh! I mean Claka goes on a long tangent about how great a demo called Sanxion Ish by Paras is. It's the best demo on the face of the earth! This is probably sarcasm, because Paras is described as infamous and we should give them credit for trying. "Very trying."

Claka tells us that this demo is 99 percent BASIC (GASP!) with a little machine code for the "bit map." He also tells us to try shift-clr-home if we can. And I wish he could use a period if he could. This is suppose to make the color in the demo disappear. Claka attempts a metaphor here.

just look at that colour vanish like demestos down the bog

Sorta makes you think, doesn't it? Whatever it means.

Whoa, periods! Oh, it's a long ellipsis. Must be making up for the lack of periods so far. Claka can't wait for their next demo. Yep, it's already marked on his calendar.

"Enuf of the jovial banter." Uh, was he talking to himself? Onto lesser things, and in a pivotal moment, Claka uses a period to end a run-on sentence! This demo was easy because most of the code was made by JCB. Ah, good old code reuse. Friend to all programmers, whether from their own code or from others. Then it gets a little weird.

Oh God the jobless ones are on about sleeping habbits no not who with but with but the sound they make.

Claka, you have to identify who or what you're talking about or you'll confuse your audience. Claka admits that the demo is about to get a little egotisical which makes no sense. I've never heard of a hacker with an ego! (Now that's sarcasm!) We are now to hear from Claka's sponsors.

First up is STE. He addresses "software houses" and asks them if they need any graffix, load screens, or just a coder. At least, that's what I think he says. The sentence just goes on and on and I'm not even going to bother to type it out. Didn't his English teacher ever tell him to keep things brief and clear?

Now for quik joke!

Why did Popeye hit Moses ????? Because he went to Mount Olive!!!!!!

Finally the part we've all been "Judge Dredding." I never saw that movie, but I'm going to assume he talking about Rob Schneider. Actually, it's the long list of other people. Goodie, no wonder why this thing is seven minutes long. Here's the list: Goat, Maaaaiiiirrrr, Ubik, Mat ( JCB says something about K'Busters), Kernal, Huddy, Ian and Mic, Cas, Dokk, Zaz and Mack, Alloy Graphic Design, Le Git La Git and the Little Git To Be (awww, the happy family!), Tom the oh hey wait a minute Mr Postman (Look, I didn't make up these names.), Chris and Griffo .BCS., ..... And some other nerds. This ends with some characters that look like camels.

After listing even more nerds that I don't care about, Claka thanks STE and JCB for the spelling help. Ah, the blind leading the blind. Then Claka says goodbye to anybody thick enuf to still be reading. Oooh! I've been totally burned! I guess that's what I get for reading "rubbish."

Claka ends this demo with "Vark Vark" followed by some lightning bolts and some camels. That about sums it all up.





Stats:

Date - Sometime in the eighties, maybe 1986 if the picture is accurate.
Scrolling text - No lower case letters allowed.
Font - The A are triangular, and the quotation marks look like a circle with a diagonal slash through it.
Europeans - Yep.
Bragging about Accomplishments -
Putting other hackers down - Yep.
Listing a ton of other nerds - Yep.
Harsh language - One word of the s variety.
Song - I'll give it a 6/10.