The Fisher Price Tape Recorder!

My family usually see relatives on Christmas Eve. We were even allowed to open presents that night, which made it really exciting. During a really early Christmas Eve, I got a Fisher Price Tape Recorder, which my sister and I had a lot of fun with.

This tape recorder comes as you see and has a microphone in the front next to the eject button. It came with a yellow cassette tape. On one side was a fun instructional recording that tells kids how they could use the recorder. It had people singing songs, explaining radio plays, and so forth. The other side was blank so you can get started. I wish I could find an audio file containing that first side just so I could hear it once more. (We lost this tape because my sister and I at one poin started making so many fart jokes that when my dad listened to it he cut the tape.)

With this tape and a couple more tapes we either got or stole from our parents, my sister and I had a lot of fun with this. We at one poin invented a show called "Totally Hidden Recorder", based on the FOX show of the similar name. Don't blame us. We never heard of Candid Camera. We invented fake pranks that weren't all that clever. One prank was just turning on the sink and pretending to get splashed in the face, and the joke was that the victim - I forget who - turned the tables and also turned on the sink. I also remember asking my cousin to say something, ANYTHING, and when she said, "what?", I told her she was on Totally Hidden Recorder. It was the only thing I could get her to say.

More memories include the time we were at our trailer in Delaware playing Bowling for the Atari 2600. Uncle Buddy and I were playing, and there was a memorable frame where we both messed up. The tape recorder caught the scratchy bowling noise, and my uncle Buddy yelling, "Aww, man!!" Then it caught more bowling noises, and me saying "Awwww, maaan." This was very funny, but part of it later got erased. I actually tried to record my part of that exchange by making up all the sound effects, and saying "Awww, maaan" again.

Another time at Delaware, my parents were watching some R rated firemen movie in the living room so my sister, our favorite cousin and I were in the backroom playing the NES game, "Bart Vs the Space Mutants." (Side note: I remember that at one poin our parents yelled, "That's it!", referring to why the movie was rated R.) I was playing vs the Baby Sitter Bandit at the end of level two. It was at this poin I learned just how big a ham our cousin was, as he stopped cheering for me and became this character announcing what a big deal everything I just did was. I also wish I had a clip of that.

One time I was really sick on a Sunday, so my sister and dad went to Uncle Buddy's while mom and I stayed home. My sister brought the tape recorder, and I'm glad she did, because my dad, ever the aggitator, bugged the heck out of Uncle Buddy as he was playing Tetris for the NES. This was at the time where Tetris and "Your MAMA!" were both huge in the mainstream media. Dad was apparently told to not talk at one poin, because he started making high pitched noises that eventually distracted Uncle Buddy. My sister was laughing the entire time. After Uncle Buddy whined, "Everytime I (unintellgible)", my dad came up with the comeback that my sister and I laughed at for a long time. It's funny how much mileage you can get with two words.

I mentioned the Simpsons earlier. Probably one of the biggest uses we had for the tape recorder was taping a couple Simpsons episodes. We did have a Beta machine, but my sister and I couldn't convince our parents to tape too many shows. We ended up taping an episode called The War of the Simpsons, and it became a favorite of mine. I listened to that tape many, many times. I still laugh at the belt joke which introduced the famous "Haw haw!" We taped a couple more episodes: Brother from the Same Planet, Duffless, and Bart Vs. Austrailia. These are all great episodes and probably had our laughted mixed in with the recordings. We even did brief one minute comments after episodes, and if I could find these it'll be the only place where you'll hear me do a terrible attempt at a Arsenio Hall audience impersonation. (My sister thought I was making monkey noises.) Also, you'll hear my sister say "Shwack!", which was a catchphrase of a local sports radio host named Rich "The Coach" Gilgallon. (The Redskins used to do that to their opponents.)

Of course, the biggest recordings we did was Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 1 (and eventually 2). We must have worned that tape out, but you can't solve that mystery by listening to it. I still have that complete tape somewhere.

Later on when we were teams we started making a couple recordings. One memorable instance was when my sister asked me to say something funny. However, I pretended to be annoyed that she said my name wrong, and currected her. She pretended that I didn't follow instructions.

"That is not a joke, stupid. Rewind. Go back and make another joke."

What made this memorable was that the tape recorder, for some reason, recorded this at a slow speed. So we laughed at this and the above quote became a running joke. I bet if I repeated it to her today she would start laughing. Another time she started singing, introducing herself and prompting me. I, for some stupid reason, sang what she said verbatim, instead of using my name. As we were laughing, I threw in a, "That is not a joke, stupid!" reference.

That was the last hurrah for the tape recorder. Soon my sister had a karaoke player, but we never got into recording after that. I guess we were just too old. The Fisher Price Tape Recorder ended up in the basement where it got dirty. The door for the batteries broke off and the inside started to rust a little. We probably still have it somewhere but I'm not sure where to look.