King's Dominion

My friend showed me a link last night to a website called Theme Park Review, and I started thinking about the theme park I used to go to as a kid and want to go back to this year. So let me share a few memories of this place.

King's Dominion (which became Paramount King's Dominion by the last year I went there) is an amusement park in Virginia. Since I live in Maryland, it's quite a long trip there, probably three or more hours. My parents used to bring me there once a year up till 1993, and I went there in 1994 with my eighth grade class. My dad used to get half price tickets from his union, while my eighth grade class were involved in several things that raised money for a trip.

Before it was taking over by Paramount, King's Dominion mostly had Hanna Barbara mascots. When you parked, you could park at the Yogi parking lot or the Boo Boo parking lot or so on. Some of the sites I would visit every year was the Yogi cave (sadly, no longer there) and the Scooby Doo roller coaster. The Scooby Doo roller coaster was a kiddy coaster which was probably the only one I could get on. I'm kind of a chicken when it comes to heights.

One of the most famous rides (also no longer there, sadly) was Smurf Mountain. This was the King's Dominion version of the Small World Ride. I don't know if it would drive me crazy as an adult, but I was sad to hear that it was replaced by some volcano ride. The lines for Smurf Mountain used to be terribly wrong and I'm sure it would have been worth seeing the Smurfs one last time.

A couple of my favorite rides involved riding on the water. Neither of these involved bathing suits, so my dad and I would go them every year. The first involved riding a raft through a twisting tube. One time we went to King's Dominion with Uncle Buddy, and he had the video camera waiting for us to come out of the tube. He got half a dozen other people and missed us. I hope to find that video.

The other ride was riding on a big round boat shaped like a tire. This was called the White Water Canyon ride. It could carry about eight people and would float around. The river would generally push you along in the right direction and you would eventually get splashed by short squirts of water from random places. Even though you don't need a bathing suit, the ride will always end with you going into a cave where water may pour freely on the walls. You can get really soaked if your tire boat tilted you towards the walls. I loved this ride and when my eighth grade class went there I ran towards it first. I'll be really sad if I go back to the park one day and find this ride missing. (The last time I went there, a new water park had opened and several of my classmates brought bathing suits.)

King's Dominion used to have a gondola ride. Again, I'm a chicken when it comes to heights, but this was a great way to get to and fro in the park. I think the gondola ride was big enough to sit four people, but I may be wrong. According to my sister, this is also no longer around.

The central part of King's Dominion is the Eiffel Tower. The elevator operator would give the history about the tower. My sister and I would fight over the pay telescope and my parents would take several pictures. This was always a good idea for middle of the day when we've gotten on several rides and needed a break.

We actually went to a couple shows a few times. One restaurant had a show for kids followed by a show for everyone. The kids part had this animontronic thing which had a genie. He would wish something and some other animatronic thing would come to life, tell jokes, and probably sang a song. My mind is rather hazy here. Then after this part was done, three women would come out and sing songs. During one of the songs they would run out into the audience and flirt with some single men. I kind of feel sorry for them, having to do that every twenty-thirty minutes. We stayed at that restaurant long enough to see both acts twice.

There was another theater we would pass by several times, and we went into more then once. The one time I can remember going in was after Paramount took over the park, so we saw stuff like "The Naked Gun...On Ice!" It was rather funny as the guy with the Leslie Neilson mask tripped over a stage light that fell from the ceiling, and when the skating was done he was in the background and fell. (Yes, I know I'm not doing any justice to the act.) There were many more movies on ice after that, but I can't remember them. They were probably more serious after that.

Towards the early ninties the park opened up a theater where the seats tilted around. My dad and I saw Days of Thunder, the movie ride!, there once. It was basically you as a driver driving around, with a narrator helpfully telling you whether you're winning or not. Every single gear shift made the seats tilt.

I believe that one year, and this may have been late eighties when I was still a kid but when my memory was starting to work, we went on a tour ride on a monorail where the rider would tell you to look left or right to see the animals. (However, I may be remembering another park, so I may have to delete this. I'll ask someone later.) I know for sure we went on a ride that was similar but the train was open. I think it was raining that day and there weren't many animals around. I think my parents and Uncle Buddy just wanted a rest at that poin.

A couple more rides I remember going on multiple times: One was a pirate theme water boat ride inside part of Smurf Mountain. This ended with the boat poining straight downward, so I became sort of a chicken. Sometimes my dad could convince me to get on, sometimes I couldn't. Another ride was the Shanadoan River, which was a boat ride with two parts where you were lifted up and dropped like a roller coaster. I remember going on this one twice during my last trip.

That's it for the rides I remember going on. Now for a few memories of individual trips.

One year, on one of the nineties trips, we went on a day where it rained most of the day. I don't think it messed up our plans too badly, but I think we spent most of the morning finding ways to avoid the light rain. The most memorable part of the trip was some poor guy who had an Indian act. Part of his act was doing a rain dance, and that drew many threats from passer-bys.

Another year I remember just the end where my dad had to get on a roller coaster that involved going upside down at one poin. I don't even think I was tall enough to get on it, so the rest of us just waited for him. The park usually closes at 8pm but we had to wait thirty minutes past that before he was done. It might have been The Grizzly, but I'm not sure. My parents promised that we would one day stay in a hotel for a day or so, but that never happened.

The trip I remember most was my last trip with my eighth grade class. I quickly ditched everybody and went to the White Water Canyon ride first. Afterwards, I made sure to go to all my favorite rides, including the water slides, Smurf Mountain, and the Eiffel Tower. I got yelled at by the teacher because I was late for one of the class check-ins.

However, this day became infamous because of the way I spent the money my parents gave me. They gave me thirty dollars, in three wrappers full of quarters. I was too spend this on food, but after I went on all my favorite rides, and found myself with a lot of free time. I ended up going to a couple arcades and spent everything I had. Mortal Kombat 2 was huge at the time, and I must have spent a sixth of what I had on that game alone. I never got past the fourth battle. I also played Super Street Fighter 2, and probably whatever else was in the first arcade I was in. A second arcade I went to was found at the exit of the Days of Thunder theater. Here I played a few racing games, including a rather primitive one made my Midway. I forget the name, but it featured early polygons and the best part of the race was failing to make a loop-de-loop.

I didn't eat anything that day. It was kind of awkward telling my parents that I had spent all the money at the arcade. I had a sandwich at home after 8.

That's all I can remember for now. Hopefully I'll go this year and see if my nostalgia holds or bitter disappoinment will smack me in the face. I'll be sure to bring a camcorder and camera.