Music Video #61 (Day 31 of 2008) The conclusion

We conclude this day and month with this final video. Don't worry, there are some plans for daily content for August. It won't be about music videos but it'll still be great. Today's video is Bowie's In Space. It is by the Flight of the Concords and is 3 minutes long. Try to control yourself as you watch it.


Huh. The earlier Flight of the Concords song was one of the best songs of the month, yet this one was disappoining. I had a hard time understanding the band members and the song didn't pick up till half way through.

This song is like the end of the trilogy of space themed music videos we did this month. This song is all about poking fun at David Bowie's Space Oddity by making Bowie the object of the song.

We start with some glowing green anime figure going into warp or something. But who cares? We see the glasses guy through a cylinder. The other guy shows up and they start singing about Bowie being in space. I just realized that they were mocking Bowie with the way they sing the song. I guess it's funnier if you're more familiar with Bowie and Space Oddity, but it went over my head. It's still a little annoying. Glasses guy asks if Bowie if it's cold. They're joking that Bowie is lost in space, just like the Major Tom character. While we see the two float around in a spaceship they ask Bowie if his nipples are hard from the cold and if they act as antennae. Hopefully Bowie wrote a song called "Nunya!"

They ask him if he has several space suits, mocking his Changes song. They ask him if he smokes grass or astroturf. I'm not sure what that refers to but they probably just zinged him. I have to poin out that glasses guy looks a bit like Austin Powers, especially from the awful second movie.

Suddenly the song picks up and gets more cheerful. This is an odd shift, but I did complain that Space Oddity shifted gears for no apparent reason. We see multi-colored astronauts play instruments as our protagonists wear dumb silver costumes. Glasses guy calls up the other guy whose floating alone in space and they have a "Bowie to Bowie" conversation. They chat and other guy says he's hanging out with Mick Jagger-nauts. We get to the tragedy part and the other guy describes it as a lsd trip. Oops, the dirty secret of Major Tom is out now. The spaceship, which looks Enterprise-ish, goes off in the distance.


This song is a little better than I first thought, but I still find the way they sing annoying. It's like they're trying to hard at the fake accents. The second part of the song is definitely stronger than the first part. The video is ok, except for all those tight suits. Bleh.

The awesome part is the keyboard controls for the ship. It's impractically but it's cool, especially under the old space controls.







Thanks for reading my entries. See you next time!

Music Video #60 (Day 31 of 2008, Part 2)

As we wind down July Music Video Month we get to yesterday's video. It is Stray Cat Strut by...Oh, it's Strut by the Stray Cats. It's three and a half minutes. Enjoy.


Wow, it's like the fifties or something! Wait, is this what music was like in the fifties? Eh, I'm too lazy to look it up.

This video takes place in an alleyway. There's a cute black cat that appears often and even the lyrics have references to cats. This band is really milking it's name.

The lead singer has really big hair. It curls around the front. The drummer plays on a can. For some reason there's a woman who's probably a prostitute walking around. She meets a guy in a trench coat and they nod before walking off. Such is the life of a cat. At least, it's what a cat sees before it hops down and walks up to another trash can.

The lead singer sings about being broke and in the ditch, just like a cat. He refers to himself as a black and orange cat. That would make him a rare male calico. A woman in some apartment pulls up her window and starts yelling at the band. She's drowned out.

Lead singer will have none of that. He brags about being a ladies' cat, and a female Casanova. Um, what? Oh, feline Casanova. Yeah, that's much better. He doesn't care where he eats or how the world treats him. The hooker reappears and he takes a look at her. Sorry, we heard the first half of your song and we know you can't have her. The woman in the window tries to yell again but is scared off by the black and white kitty. She reappears shortly and starts throwing random junk that the band block with the trash can lid.

After a break the singer goes on about picking fights. Our protagonist is a wild, care free type. The ladies like him, but want to tame him. A couple of women whose virtue I won't question appear and start to walk and snap to the beat. Very retro.

During another break the lady in the apartment sits down to watch tv. She looks a bit like Roseanne at this poin. She flips through several channels and we see some clips from some Tex Avery cartoons. Cool. But she gets real mean and walks outside her apartment to throw a bucket of water at the black cat. She goes away after that.

The refrain (the part about picking a fight) plays one more time. The women walk away and the prostitute shows up one last time.


That was a fun song, and weird that it was played on early MTV (I cheated by looking that up, but I knew that it was from the eighties.) I'm guessing that there was an nostalgia for the fifties (forties? I don't know) and this song became popular.

The awesome part is the Tex Avery cartoon. I don't know which one. The awesome part that doesn't make me sound like a big manchild geek is the part where the cat scared the lady with it's meow. Don't mess with that cat.

Music Video #59 (Day 31 of 2008, Part 1?)

Today's music video is Everlong by the Foo Fighters. And I'm doing it for real today. Sorry about the delay. Real life got in the way.


Ok, so Lita showed me this video before, but it wasn't for a Video Challenge entry. I remember this video for the band member dressed as the blonde woman. I was trying to determine if it was a man or not for a while.

This video starts in black and white outside in some woods. Two people sneak up to...somewhere. Then we go inside a large house where we see several pictures of a couple. The wife/girlfriend is played by a man dressed as a woman, but he does look like very much like a woman from some angles. They're both in bed sleeping. The video is about dreams, as we see several of them.

First dream is the guy's. He imagines himself much younger with ridiculous spiky hair. He has a jacket with an manarchy symbol. He goes to a party and it's in color. The lyrics start as the singer addresses an unseen person. He says that he's been waiting to meet that person for a long time. He says something about throwing himself in and out of the red, which I don't understand. The person he meets is a she and she sings about wanting him to join her so they can waste away. Singer finds himself in over his head as the girl sings some more. Meanwhile the guy sees the blonde at the party and two guys with mutton chops are groping her. This angry ups the man as we then skip to the blondes dream while she's in some woods at night. It's spooky but it's just set up for later in the video.

As the refrain starts the man's hand gets really huge as if he just ate his spinach. He beats up the two guys while all the women at the party look on concerned. One of the mutton chops is tossed around like a doll. The singer is singing with the girl and he feels good and real. That's kind of odd given what she just said to him. Between the way he feels around her and the violent defense of the girl in the video, I'm wondering if this could be considered romantic. If it was, than it's definitely a weird example.

The mutton chops disappear from his dream and end up in hers. Meanwhile the man drags his future wife/girlfriend into a room, only to find that there's only a large telephone in it. He struggles with it until he wakes up. We jump back into the blonde's dream which turns into a horror movie. She's alone in a cabin trying to protect herself from a ax-wielding mutton chop guy. Insert Abe Lincoln meme here. The muttons attack while blonde calls the police. Her husband/boyfriend is in the dream picking up sticks somewhere. Meanwhile singer is singing about wanting to breathe in the girl. He thinks she's out of her head but he doesn't care. The refrain repeats but now he's the one who's suppose to be singing it.

The blonde is tied to the chair. Her guy tries to wake her up for a phone call but gives up and goes back to sleep. He dreams about going back to the party and being in an orgy but his dream fades and he's suddenly has leg-chucks while being in the blonde's dream. He saves the day by using his Popeye hand again. Blonde helps and they smile afterward. He drags the mutton chops to water while she's still tied up following him.

Suddenly the muttons attack in the real world! A member of the band comes out of their bodies through their mouths. The blonde takes his wig off and reveals a drum set under the bed. The band rocks out while the refrain plays one last time.


This is a good song and it's hard to believe it's a love song. The video clearly shows popular fantasies of men and women. In this case, the guy wants to save the girl while the girl wants to be rescued. It's funny cause if you just watched it without the music you would conclude that it was just a goofy Night of the Living Dead or whatever take off.

The awesome thing is the leg-chucks. The unawesome thing is the fact that the drummer looks like an attractive girl from some angles.

Not this one, though.

Good Cheap Places to Eat in NYC

Hey kids! It's me, wurwolf, here for wurwolf Wednesday!!! Are you excited??????

Since literally hundreds of people read Torrk's blog every day, I thought for my first guest post I would talk about my favorite cheap places to eat in NYC. Sometimes people visit New York, and when they do they occasionally like to eat here. Since I work and live here during the week, I thought I'd share these places with you, the reading public.

I work in Midtown and walk down 8th Avenue to catch the train in the West Village, so most of these places are located within that area, with a few exceptions. At all but two of them, dinner can be had for less than $15, and in most cases it can be had for less than $10. (This, of course, is all contingent on a small appetite -- I am someone who can be filled up on one slice of pizza -- so keep that in mind.)

Two Boots is my favorite place to eat right now, in fact I went there tonight and spent $5 on a small soda and a Mr. Pink. They have specialty pizzas named after famous personages, both real and fictional. (They also have plain ol' cheese for those who are less adventurous.) There are Two Bootses scattered around the city, but I go to the one on 7th and Greenwich Avenues in the West Village. It is such a great NY experience. I love sitting at the booth by the window, watching the crowd go by. Recommended if you're a tourist and want to do something real New Yorkers do but don't go with a group, as there is limited seating.

Right down Greenwich Avenue from Two Boots is A Salt & Battery. Cutesie name notwithstanding, they serve excellent and authentic fish & chips, or as authentic as I imagine fish & chips to be. The guys who work there even have British or Irish accents (I'm really bad with accents -- they could be Australian for all I know), and if you're a cute chick there by yourself they'll flirt with you (but not obnoxiously so).

Do you like barbecue? Sure, we all do! After years of being a barbecue wasteland, suddenly NYC is home to like a billion barbecue restaurants. I've only eaten at a handful of them, but the best one I've been to is RUB on 23rd Street between 7th & 8th Avenues. OMG, it is sooooooooooo good! The meats are spectacular, and you can get a one, two or three meat platter and whatever sides you want. The sides are okay -- the real star of the show is the meat. This is one of the more expensive restaurants on this list, but you can still get a meal for two for about $50. DO NOT under any circumstances go to Dallas Barbecue! It is a tourist trap and not good food!

Another passable barbecue place is Bone Lick Park, which is also on Greenwich Avenue, located two or three stores down from Two Boots. They are included second because, while tasty, their meats just aren't up to RUB quality. I do like Bone Lick's sides better, though -- the mashed yams and macaroni and cheese are great. Pricing is similar to RUB's.

Better Burger is a tasty little burger shop on 8th Avenue and 19th Street. If you go ask for the karma ketchup which they keep behind the counter. They have a couple of different ketchup flavors -- original, cajun and karma. They used to have the karma out but I guess the demand wasn't so high so they only give it out by special request. I love it, it's my favorite flavor. There are other Better Burgers around the city, including one on 9th Avenue around 43rd Street.

And while we're up in that neighborhood (Hell's Kitchen), Amy's Bread is located on 9th Avenue between 47th & 46th Streets. They have very tasty sandwiches on homemade bread. Not a huge selection, but quite yummy nevertheless.

Right down the block from Amy's between 45th & 46th Streets is Say Cheese, a restaurant that specializes in grilled cheese. I hesitate to include them in here because, in my opinion, the sandwich that I had there was just okay. Still, it's a good cheap place for food that will fill your belly.

If you happen to be at Grand Central Station, check out their food court. They have lots of great restaurants there, including another Two Boots and a barbecue place which I didn't include because the name escapes me but has very tasty food. If you're in Times Square, run the hell away from that culinary wasteland and go to the food court at Grand Central which is located a few avenues to the east of Times Square. It's not your mall's food court. SRSLY.

Heading back downtown to the East Side, Pommes Frites is a sentimental favorite. My husband and I have gotten fries there many times and I loved them so much that I made a card and mailed it to the restaurant. They serve their fries with flavored mayonnaise -- stop those gagging sounds! It's tasty! Pommes Frites is located on 2nd Avenue right off of St. Marks Place, which is a tourist destination in and of itself. While there, walk around on St. Marks, and then head back to 2nd Avenue and check out Toy Tokyo which is on a second floor practically right above Pommes Frites. (There's also a cool 70s collectibles place called Love something or other two stores down from Pommes Frites.)

That's all I can think of right now. There are probably other places that will occur to me later on. If they do I will make a second post. That's not a promise, that's a threat!

Peas out, britches!

Music Video #58 (Day 29? of 2008, Part 3)

Today's music video is Everlong by the Foo Fighters. Except I'm not doing it today. I'll make it up tomorrow. Sorry about that. See ya in less than 24 hours.

Music Video #58 (Day 29 of 2008, Part 2...)

Yesterday's video was Mexican Radio. It may annoy Lita to know that I've heard this song several times now. I have never seen the video though, because I've only heard this song thanks to Activision Anthology for the PS2, which includes a number of 80s songs. Enjoy this Wall of Voodoo song for four minutes.


This song is about a radio, yet we see lots of tvs. They do have static on them most of the time, yet we don't see too many radios. Interesting.

We start with a static screen with the title on it. Suddenly, some spanish is heard while the lead singer cups his ear. We then see a television screen with static on it and some programs for bull fighting. Because it's Mexico, you see. We see several more bull fighting symbols while the band starts the song. Lead singer describes what it's like to listen to a Mexican Radio. He feels as if he's there with the hot weather and an older culture. He listens to Mexican programs and even buy the iffier products advertised on it. He swears he doesn't use them, which is good because I heard that they just make your heart beat erratically. Meanwhile the lead singer is either winking to the camera too much or he has a tic. The band has a Beatles all bowlcuts look. They are in a little room next to a rarely working tv with red mountains behind them. Lead singer mentions that he listens to the dj, but doesn't understand him.

The refrain starts and the singer says he's on a Mexican radio. When I used to listen to this while playing Activision Anthology, I though the song was about a guy stuck in Mexico being a DJ for a station despite not speaking the language. I have no idea why I assumed that. We get a close look up at the backup singer who reminds me of Vadinho from Puma Man. We get more scenes of bull fighting and we watch someone drive around in a busted car.

Now lead singer mentions a show he just tuned into. The hosts are talking about American economy, yet he doesn't understand too much. He says it's a riddle to him. (I used to think that after "No comprende" he would say something else in Spanish, like "Es no bueno" or something like that. The refrain starts again, and there it is! A guy wearing a sombrero! NOW it's Mexico! Phew, I was afraid they were going to wimp out and not show one. We see the band go on a trip and they look a lot less Beatles like. Meanwhile all through the video we see some kind of devil dog statue.

Then we get the most silly line in the video when the third verse starts. The singer wants to go to Tijuana to eat barbecued iguana. I just used wiki to see if iguanas were mentioned but the search turned up nothing. I guess there aren't too many rhymes for Tijuana. See, if I had a band and I wrote a song just so I could go on vacation, I would pick a better country, but I guess these guys were working their way up. Lead singer would get a job taking requests. He again imagines what it would be like to be in Mexico while he still has problems understanding the DJ. Let's chip in and buy him Rosetta Stone.

The refrain plays several times at this poin. As the song winds down see a woman show off a recipe for something. Beans or something? We suddenly see the director and the film crew of the video. Then one of the band members has his face come out of the woman's recipe, which looks more like a cereal. You, the reader, will have to tell me what it is. I'm no food expert. A iguana crawls over the mask of the devil dog and the video ends.


I love this song, but I loved most of the songs on the above-mentioned game. The video is ok and compliments the song despite it's emphasis on television but the song is the star.

The awesome thing about this video is the iguana line. Come on, what else could it be? It's so surreal you have to love it.

Music Video #57 (Day 28 of 2008, Part 1?)

Sorry for this being so late. I was at Delaware on Sunday and Monday. By the time I got home Monday, I had a headache and the fright white screen was killing me, so I shrugged and put up my apology. I didn't even get to talk to Lita that night. Hopefully I'll be able to do a make up for the last couple days. Here's Sunday's video, which is Pork and Beans by Weezer. It's three and a half minutes of music.



This reminds me of the recent South Park episode where the various Internet memes killed each other. I should watch that whole episode some day.

The video starts with Weezer's guitar player in the upper left corner while the other 3/4ths of the screen is blacked out. Then as he starts playing a drummer and the lead singer appear in two other squares. It's like that movie that came out in the nineties. You know, that movie that was split into four screens? Real time, probably. An indie hit, probably. Time Code? I don't know, but it led me to guess that this video was made in the nineties when I first loaded this up. Not so, for the fourth square is filled with the Numa Numa guy. We're then assaulted by the sight of the dramatic chipmunk with one of the band member's face on it. Some Japanese school girls are upset by it. We then see a parody of some kid who does bad martial arts. I forget if he was also the Star Wars kid or not. We see some experiment where a bottle squirts in a kid's face, but I don't know what that refers to. Finally we see one of those silly G.I. Joe parodies. I'd like to thank PM for introducing me to those.


The singer sings about being in need of Rogaine and a diet. The singer is wearing expensive shades in an attempt to still be cool, especially to kids. It's obviously not working.

We get to the refrain as we see the band outside in front of several fountains. That looks like a lot of fun especially in the middle of the summer. We see one of the band members putting on a tshirt every second, a parody of the youtube videos of someone taking a photo of themselves once everyday. He never takes any shirts off so he appears huge at the end. Suddenly the lyrics sound different as the singer now doesn't give a damn what anybody thinks. He's going to do whatever he wants, including eating candy with pork and beans. We see the Star Wars kid parody followed by the "Leave Britney Alone!" guy. It probably really is him. We see the All Your Base game and the dumb Miss South Carolina contestant. Singer is still telling everybody to bugger off.

(Actually, I just reread the lyrics and the song is consistent. He says that people say he needs more hair and needs to ose any weight, but he doesn't care.)

The second verse starts as we see the Numa Numa kid singing to the lyrics. One of Weezer's band members walks up behind him. Our singer is now laying out a plan to reach the top. He's going to sing a bouncy, happy song and he'll do it after he talks to some guy who's really good at writing songs like that. Singer is determined. We next see the guy who does the history of dances which I think is still the most watched video at youtube. Lita introduced me to that one. Then we get the Chocolate Rain guy, and once again I think they got the real kid to show up and not just the clips of him.

Refrain plays again and we see hands with several words all over the fingers. I haven't watched these videos but I know they ask for several replies. This is followed up by...hot women who also have words on them but they're wearing boxes on their head with holes to stuff letters in. This is the weirdest Laugh-In ever. Then they take their boxes off and we see that they've been swapped with two members of Weezer. Way to weird out your audience.

Stuff happens. We see a woman on her back kicking her feet in the air, but I'm not sure what she refers to. We see some buff guy beat up ninjas. Ninjas being a required Internet meme, of course. I don't see any pirates yet. Next up is one of the Weezer guys dressed as a little girl getting angry as she looks at a pair of shoes. I don't know what this one refers to either, but it looks like a generic Internet temper tantrum. We next go into a studio as the memes explode all over the place. The buff guy unmasks someone to find the banana gif. Lots of people do things. The song ends as the fountains stop.


This is an interesting song but it's overshadowed by the video. Even if you hate all the memes, and some of them annoy me, it's still fun to play Name That Meme. I did as you can see. The song isn't bad as a "screw all the haters" song. Now that I think about it, "screw all the haters" is one of the mottos of Internet celebrities, so it works on another level.

The awesome part about this video is that the title reminds me of an In Living Color sketch that I loved. But that doesn't really have to do with the video, so the second awesome thing is when the South Carolina gal pulls out a lightsabre. I wish I could do that after I had just humiliated myself.

Hello all you peeps out there in Tork's Blog Land!

My name is Rimmi. Two of you may know me from my mosaic blog.

My mosaic blog has taken a hiatus until I can get my digital camera to work. Here is a story that may end up on my mosaic blog soon enough if things go as I fear they might.

My mother broke the toilet. She was lifting the lid off the back of the tank and it slipped from her fingers. It went into the tank, smashed through the bottom of the tank and flooded the bathroom. We can no longer use that toilet. It will have to come out and a brand new one will have to be put in soon. I hope it comes soon. I hate going downstairs and using dad's bathroom. I have to hope our elderly cat, Arthur, hasn't used the kitchen floor as a toilet and I have to battle the germs dad has left behind in his bathroom. Men are messy people!

So what does this have to do with mosaics? Back on my blog I mentioned meeting a mosaic artist in Provincetown. He had his left over glass scattered all over a parking lot in front of a bakery. It was a gorgeous sight to behold. A bit of wisdom that he imparted on my was that toilet glass is the best and sturdiest glass he's ever used. He looks at an old, used toilet as a gift.

I think this is my new challenge. I will take that toilet, smash it to pieces and make something beautiful out of it. Several something beautifuls. There's a lot of toilet to go around!

Stay tuned! Read my blog!

This Week In Entertainment (7/28/08)

I don't know anything about this movie, but I'm making Forbidden Zone my Pick of the Week based on the fact that it's being promoted by Rifftrax. It seems too weird for my tastes, but maybe it's worth a look.



Also out this week is the third Mummy movie. If I did this last week, I probably would have made it the pick of the week, but I'm glad I held off cause the movie has a NINE percent on the tomato meter.



Out on DVD this week is Season One of Freakazoid! It was ok, but I only watched the show because it was on before Earthworm Jim. I never fully got the show.

Another Warner Bros. cartoon of the late 80s/early 90s is Tiny Toons and this set is volume one of season one. I liked this show as a kid but when I reached pre-adolescence I started hating it. Animaniacs soon came along and was much better written and drawn.

Here's a Dick Tracy serial. I picked it last week but I can't remember why, so pretend I said something interesting or funny.

When the original Indiana Jones movie was a huge hit, Allan Quarterman was released to cash in. When the last Indiana movie was made, this movie was also made.


For the Wii we have SNK Classics. I include this not because I've ever played an SNK game, but because this collection is probably cheaper than downloading any of the games on the VC.

MLB Power Pros 1 was a fun game for the Wii that I borrowed for a little bit. Here's this seasons version, rather late. Protip: The Nats aren't a good team.

You know those books that have several different puzzles in them, like crosswords, logic grids, and so forth? I love those. This game is probably better suited for the DS, but here's Puzzler Collection for the Wii.


Another collection of mini-games for the Wii, this game will probably get killed by Mario and Sonic when that game is inevitably rereleased.

Sorry.

Dear Tork's Blog readers,

I O U three music videos tomorrow.


I was going to do yesterday's video tonight and possibly today's, but I'm tired and I have a headache.

Hopefully Lita or Rimmi or Mickey can see this post and fill in for me by posting anything. Just anything amusing.

I like Lita's idea of posting reviews. I'd talk to her about it but I need to go lie down. Night.

I'm not Tork.

Tork's on vacation today and tomorrow so he asked me to write his blog for him while he was away. I was all like, "Cool." He says, "Just introduce yourself or something." And what kind of blog entry is that supposed to look like? "Hi. I'm Lita. I have a couple of other blogs you can check out if you feel like it. Tork decided to make his blog cooler by adding me to the writing staff. You'll see more of me in August when I'm gonna be playing video games for his amusement or something. He's in Delaware. Ok, bye."

Yeah. That's dumb. I decided that if I'm going to be on this blog I should have a feature of some sort and here it is: I'm going to review stuff.

You won't recall Tork's old Tripod website that we don't talk about anymore where I occasionally reviewed GameCube games for him. This will be like that, except with Wii Games, and anything else I happen to feel needs a review. No, I didn't get Tork's ok on this. If he doesn't like it then he should have thought about that before inviting me to join his blog without telling me what it is he expects me to do here.

I can hear you guys right now. You're saying, "But Lita! We don't need you to review Wii games and other random crap for us! We have Tork for that! ... We think. Does Tork review stuff? We don't read this blog." Me neither, my friends. But let me tell you a secret that might help you decide whose reviews to read:

Tork doesn't care about you.

There it is. I said it. Now you have to live with it. It's true, too. Just ask Rimmi and Mickety. They'll agree. Do you think Tork added us because he cares about you? No. Do you, perhaps, think it's because he cares about us? No way. He added us because he didn't feel like writing his own blog. Hey, we all feel like that sometimes. Just check the blogs run by myself, Rimmi, and Mickery if you want to see what that looks like. Tork's too busy being an Internet Fat Cat and rubbing elbows with the likes of the Tron Guy and... the Tron Guy to remember the little people who made him big. But Tork's fame doesn't excuse his boundless apathy. We're all very concerned about Tork. We're thinking of having him committed.

I care about you guys, though. I really do. Each and every one of you. Did I not open my heart and soul to you all by sharing some of my favorite music with you? Yes I did. Because I care. So you can trust me. Next time you feel like you want to read a review of some game that's already been out for a few months, make that my review... assuming that the game you're thinking about is one of the tiny, tiny, tiny percentage of games I have reviewed.

Thanks.

Music Video #56 (Day 26 of 2008)

Lita was annoyed by something I said in the last entry, so now she's giving me today's video. Let's see what the fury of a woman annoyed gets me by watching Do The Evolution by Pearl Jam.


Adolescent angst! Wheee!

We start with a shot of space. Stuff happen and we eventually reach earth where an egg gets fertilized. It reproduces itself and we end up with hundreds of ugly cells until we're underwater looking at at a fish. Then a shark eats the fish. Then a dinosaur eats the shark. It's basically a more violent version of the opening credits to Dilbert. The T-Rex eats more dinosaurs until a comet shoots by in the background. This is really violent but in a way really silly. I mean, it's seconds between each creature killing the next one.

The lyrics start with the singer announcing that he's a man. This guy is proud because he's the first mammal to wear pants. Yep, millions of years of mating got man to this poin. Shows why we rock, really. Then he says he's a American soldier (I guess) who kills for patriotism. At first I thought he was taking a shot at religious people in general until I realized that he used our motto. Meanwhile a monkey kills a monkey kills a monkey. We're now at humans and we quickly skip to shots of Klansmen and knights. Whatever. We constantly see a pale dark hair woman who seems to represent death because she smiles through out all the bloodshed. This is why you can't trust women!

We see a primitive man rip his skin off so he becomes a modern one. We see plenty of modern men jump out of buildings during a stock market crash. EXTREEEEEEEEME Stock Marketing!!!! Singer sings about buying up all the stock after the crash. Then he talks about being a truck that would run anything over. We then see tanks running over a forest once filled with ponies. Then we get a bizarre image. We see people who are obviously Nazis, yet their flag has a Z shape. I guess they're Zanis. They're like more socialistic than nationalistic. They burn books. People starve. Goths nod approvingly while watching. Death chick dances, and she looks a bit like she was animated by the guys who did the Batman and Superman cartoons of the 90s.

We see several quick things, including guillotines and whaling. We see slaves whipped while pyramids are built while the singer commands everybody to admire him. Then we see some Indians who get terrible skin diseases as the singer goes on about how the land is his and he can do what he wants. Get it?! We watch a war machine build weapons and we see skyscrapers jump out from the ground.

This is followed by several leaders, religious and otherwise. The politician specifically has puppet strings behind him as he gives a rousing speech. Singer says that he's a hypocrite who goes to church. We get a break where we watch a girl run around in the field. She steps in an ant hill and the fire bugs explode. Oh wait, I guess it was a land mind. Yep, all life is bleak. We get images of World War One followed by other random images like a monkey getting experimented on (awake?) and people being poured into a bowl for a dog to eat. I guess he's suppose to be like a one-headed Cerberus feasting on souls. Singer says admire him again.

We get images of slavery in a America. Then we see more Klansmen. This is, oddly, followed by a guy who gets assimilated by his computer. I spend way too much time online, but that's just a silly - heck, offensive - contrast. Next we see babies made in a factory with bar codes stamped on their heads. Those will just wipe off with sweat. We then see a gross image of a guy having cyber sex with chords plugged into his pants. Bleck. Here's the punishment, right here.

Finally stuff start to get blown up good. We see an EEEEEvil Castle Greyskull grow Dr. Octopus arms. We see a city get carpet bombed. Finally, a big mushroom cloud finishes the video.


This video is so bleak and ugly that you wonder if the Discovery Institute made it. However, I'm sure it was just a "screw everything!" song. Despite that, I'm chuckling at the fact that they made a video and it had no sex in it. Seriously, it's a song about evolution. Evolution involves reproduction. You were so busy being angsty about wars and such that you forgot to stick it to the whatever with people doing as they please.

The awesome part is the brief appearance by Lex Luthor. He's at 1:57 in the video. It's good to see him get a job at something besides loser leader of the Legion of Doom.

I'm making a note here, huge success

Ha!


Tork totally fell for my evil scheme of getting to comment on this blog without having to do that annoying word verification thing. I am so evil awesome.

I may or may not post things in the near future. But remember to read my blog, praise Swedish Fish, and stop rummaging through my trash.


Tork, I told you, your blog totally needs a logo.

Robot Master Saturday #3

Today's robot is Ice Man. He's a robot that looks like an Eskimo. Observe.




Now let's see what I came up with.





Look out, or he'll attack with his bugles! The icicles are suppose to be this shape, but they still look funny to me. This is one of my earlier attempts to shade in the boss, and it's not too bad here, except around the hood. The belt looks more like an innertube.

Music Video #55 (Day 26 of 2008)

As this month winds down we get another appearance by David Bowie. Maybe Lita's trying to bait him to reply to this blog. Today's song is Fame '90 and is four minutes long.


This video reminds me of picture in a picture television, except this looks more like Press Your Luck vision.

This video starts with a warning. It's directed by Gus Van Sant the same guy who thought that Psycho was missing something. Ahem. We start the song with David wearing a suit in black and white. The background is bare and David does stuff like play the sax. The screen superimposes fire, because David Bowie is that hot. He starts to spin around and he plays a guitar at some poin. We finally see him with a blonde wrapped around him spinning around. This video was made in 1990, but her hair seems to be from the eighties. Finally we see the screen shrink so we see several other videos border the middle video.

The lyrics start, and it's mostly just Bowie saying fame over and over again. When he doesn't say fame, he sings about it, saying that it makes a man hollow and hard to control themselves. The smaller windows show Bowie from several poins in his career, so I'm sure it's suppose to be poking fun at himself. Blonde rolls on Bowie's back while he stays still. Oh, geez. I'm getting a Rick Astley vibe when Bowie is in the distance. I hope Lita isn't pranking me.

Bowie goes on about how fame is fleeting. Well, except for the fame I'm getting from my blog. I'll live forever. Bowie then does a cool bit that's like The Robot, but not so overdone. Then the blonde and Bowie continuing the miming while Bowie says that fame drives people to crime. That explains Hollywood in a nut shell.

Our couple dances during the break, including a poin where Bowie twirls the blonde briefly in the air. Finally we lose the extra windows and go back to color. Blonde's dress is a little too tight. I feel a bit sorry for her as she dances and jumps around. End song.


Not exactly a deep song, but fun nonetheless. The video is worth watching with an attractive woman and several images from Bowie's career.

The awesome thing is the miming part. The second awesome thing is the way the blonde twirls around a couple times when Bowie spins her.

Music Video #54 (Day 24 of 2008)

It seems like Lita gave me a repeat, but I'm tired so I won't tell her. It's Major Tom by Peter Schilling, which is probably his take on David Bowie's song.


Free night, you weren't to be. Or...whatever.

I mean, sure, it clearly takes a lot from David Bowie's song, but there's a lot more stuff, like the cheesy 80s stuff. Oh well, it wasn't called July's Don't Post Anything Like May Or June Month. We start with astronauts doing Right Stuff stuff like walking to the rocket. A synthesizer plays in the background, firmly putting this video in the eighties. Then we see various people wearing 80s fashions walking outside a junkyard. Inside some hobos look up at a pile of cars. Today's band is in one of the cars.

The song starts and Peter sings about the rocket. It's ready for ignition, even though there are some doubts. The computer says it's ok so countdown starts. During this first verse, the pile of cars is contrasted to a rocket. Uh oh? On a nerdy note, I can't help but agree with the nervousness. Back then I'm sure the computers were state of the art, but computers of the early 80s are primitive to what we have to day. Bill Gates once infamously said at the time that 640K are good enough for anybody to run an OS.

I'll shut up. We get more people in cars and bums looking up at them. Peter tells us that the crew believes that everything is ready and Major Tom cracks a joke. Oh, that cut up. The refrain starts as we see various clips of a rocket breaking free and taking off. The refrain talks about how it feels to be in space.

As we start the next part of the song, we get some goofy shots of an astronaut bouncing around the moon. Following this is various guys bouncing around the rocket. Peter sings that the rocket is in orbit and everything is going well. Major Tom is checking the equipment. Space aside, it must be boring. All you do is check computers over and over. Maybe that's why the public lost interest. Suddenly there's a problem on the rocket. We get an image of a flaming ball of wreckage to illustrate the poin. So subtle. We get to the part that's most like David's song where ground control calls for Major Tom about the problem. The refrain starts again and we see a rocket taking off with a halo surrounding its tip. Wink wink.

The third part (verse?) of the song starts with a woman onscreen who represents Major Tom's wife. She looks a little frantic and blows several kisses to the camera while speaking to a NASA microphone. The song informs us that Major Tom is lost. (Uh, why is that guy ironing in the background? The heck?) Peter reveals that the Major is still alive under the rocket. For some reason, we see the wife (I'm sure it's suppose to be her, but yeesh) is making out with the ironing board guy. What the heck? Major Tom is having a religious experience as he accepts his fate. The refrain plays a couple time. Major Tom's image of heaven (or whatever) has women skating around with food orders in their hands. The song ends with several pretty shots of earth from space. Also with Peter(?) standing in a blue background like he was in the opening credits from Quantum Leap.


It's funny that this song came after the great moon landings yet sounds more cheerful than the more relevant Bowie song. Despite the cheesy eightiesness of the video, it's still a good song and the video is good even if I don't think the junkyard cars match a rocket. I also don't get the wife immediately having an affair. That's as out of place as the ending to Bowie's original song. So "I like this song despite..."

The awesome thing is the video of people weightless. I want to get on one of those planes that drop quickly to earth to simulate weightlessness at least once. On an empty stomach, of course.

Music Video #53 (Day 23 of 2008)

Today's video is from an album I got from Lita. It's Short Skirt/Long Jacket by CAKE.


I'm sure I've seen this video before. I'm also sure the big reason why anybody remembers this video is because of Robert L. Clark. He just loves this song.


I'll start with the lyrics because the video is about people sampling the song. Basically singer describes his ideal girl. She's a girl with a hard head, knows what's right, and is very sharp. As the song goes on you realize he wants a super gal, who's perfect at everything, can support herself, and can even do all this stuff without much sleep. I'm sure that the song doesn't take itself too seriously because otherwise I'd say, "Good luck, buddy!"

That's it for the song. I was going to go into it in more detailed but realized I didn't need to. The important part of this video is that several people are asked to listen to the song and they give commentary as the song plays. Several people put on headphones and bob their head to the music. If it was me, I would have stayed perfectly still and not made eye contact with the camera.

Robert L. Clark immediately loves the song and demands to know who it is. He doesn't catch their name but is totally into it. We see other people including a high school student that gives up on it almost immediately. She thinks the singer has a scratchy voice. We return to Robert who makes us laugh when he wonders aloud if the song ended during the refrain. I miss the Robert Clark late night show.

We see other people. Some retired guy predicts that this song won't make it on the charts. Meanwhile Robert says he wants to copies of the song. Everybody else in this video should bow down to him. We see more people including a guy who remembers the good old days of the forties. He gives the song two beards down. A psychologist tries to look important by implying his silly degree to the video. Don't look at me like that. If it's not silly, than why do I have to remember it as P-SI-Chologist just so I can spell it right?

Some cartoonist really doesn't like the nananana part. We next see some hippy who doesn't sound like a hippy. I'm not sure if he's a real hippy. Maybe just a burned out one. We get two women who disagree over how they feel about the lyrics. Next is a tattooed guy who shares how badly his marriage went and says that if his woman was like CAKE's ideal woman, he would have stayed. Very courageous of you, sir. We get a German tourist who thinks the song rocks but complains about the rising action. We end with a woman accusing the band of being a one-hit wonder. Ouch. Funny way to end the video though.


Good song, and a funny idea for a video. The comments distract from the song a little bit but not too much. The song is fun and clearly doesn't take itself seriously.

The awesome thing is obviously Robert L. Clark. I love how his hoodie popped up the moment he fell in love with the song.

Music Video #52 (Day 22 of 2008)

You're lucky to be here for today's video. It's Good Fortune by PJ Harvey. Count your blessings for the next three and a half minutes.


I'm wondering why I never heard of this woman before. She should have had more mainstream fame.

The entire video is about PJ walking down the street at night. She wears black clothing and starts the video wearing anti-tabloid sunglasses before she takes them off. The song is cheerful and she occasionally does stuff like throw her hands in the air and swing her purse. Heck, I bet if someone poined a knife at her she would cheerfully mace them.

Her song starts with her declaring that she threw away her bad fortune. See, cheerful, because you have to be in control of your life before you're happy. Unless you're dumb. Actually, I think you could fill books on this subject, and that has nothing to do with the song. Anyway, her only regret is not throwing away her bad fortune with her guy. She really likes his boyish smile and they had an interesting conversation early in the morning. She knew she loved the guy. She then mentions a drunken incident in Chinatown, which I'm sure it TMI.

PJ recalls more conversations about mostly hypothetical stuff. The guy must have a great personality for not boring her. Their conversations lifted her spirits and she feels like her life is open to new things. Blah blah blah, she starts getting real lovey dovey by talking about how she can see her reflection in his eyes and she paints stuff to remember him, and you get the picture. PJ dreams of running away with her guy. The song ends with her comparing the couple to Bonnie and Clyde. Of course, she means the romanticized story about them, because otherwise she's in love with a cop killer. That would spoil the song.


The song may get a little sappy, but this woman can really sell it. She has a lot of energy in the simple video and she has a nice voice. Good song.

The awesome thing is the first purse twirl. I defy you to find something better in the video.

Music Video #51 (Day 21 of 2008)

Today's video is Radiohead. It's by a band named Just and it's four minutes long.


I realized two things while watching this video. One, I had this band last year. Two, I confused the band's name with the song again.

Our video starts with somebody pressing play. But it also starts with some defeated person looking over their bathtub while wearing a robe. It's so dark and grey that I was wondering if he was sent to Room 101 or something. Guy disrobes while we cut to an apartment where Radiohead is starting their song. Orange hair lead singer goes on about how our protagonist feels that he can't get the stink out after several days. Right off the bat we know this isn't going to be any less gloomy than Creep. At least the song sounds a little cheerful.

Somehow the person in the video has done something really dumb and it's catching up to him. Meanwhile the guy in the video is walking to work wearing a suit. He suddenly stops and freezes in place. Radiohead sings the refrain, which is about how whatever it was he did, he alone is responsible for it. Whatever it is, it's self-destructive, as we're about to see. The guy suddenly lies on the ground. I've felt really bad but never this bad. I'm not unsympathetic even if I don't know what it is he's doing to himself.

Some dork trips over the guy. Dork apologizes thinking he was just careless. Meanwhile orange hair doesn't feel any sympathy for our protagonist. The next set of lyrics makes it look like the protagonist was drunk and violent and needed to be locked out of the apartment. Ok, at least I understand now why the singer hates his subject. That's it for the song, because the refrain repeats twice. Meanwhile, dork is talking with the guy on the ground and is getting angry as the guy continues to lie and evade questions. A crowd gathers and the guy does everything to make sure that they stay there, even if that's not his intention. An officer appears, but that doesn't help the situation.

The guy on the ground acts as if he has a earth-shattering secret that mustn't be leaked. Dork gets way to involved as he and the cop continue yelling at the man to find out what's the problem is. Finally, the man reveals it. He mouths something and a moment later the crowd is lying on the ground next to him. We never find out what it is.


I like this song a little more than Creep. The video is really sad even with the silly ending.

The awesome part of the video is when the orange hair singer spazzes out while singing. He's really good at that part.

This Week In Entertainment (7/21/08)

I hate to make this my Pick of the Week. I've already played through the PS version of Final Fantasy 4, so I don't need this 3d remake. I didn't even like the game that much. Yet, I have a feeling that I'll eventually pick this up. I feel like if I get this game, it's like I'm throwing up my hands and conceding that I'll never get married.


Also out this week in theaters is the X-Files second movie. Boy, is this movie lucky that it doesn't have much competition this week so it won't be blown away too badly by The Dark Knight.


On DVD we have assorted episodes of the television version of the Jack Benny Show. I'd complain about them not releasing it in seasons but they probably lost some episodes. Which really sucks. I hate when old movies and films are destroyed or lost.

Here's a giant collection of public domain cartoons in a thirty dollar set. For those who don't have a set like this and want to start somewhere.

Music Video #50 (Day 20 of 2008)

We reach a milestone today with out fiftieth music video. Maybe, just maybe we'll reach 100 in 2010. Today's video is Sexx Laws by Beck. It's a filthy four minutes.


Oooooooooooooooooook.

We start with a logo for #mpglovers. This probably has nothing to do with the video but I'm poining it out anyway. We cut to night where we see five dateless losers called the Vision Warriors Men Circle. They do nerdy guy stuff like yoga and talking about what they want to do. Pfft, punch something you so-called guys! One of them is Jack Black so we can see where this is going. They start to group hug and talk about progress but before they can pretend that Jediism is real, football players break through the walls.

Music starts while we see Beck and his band play. I can't really make much out but the word Vulture is in the background in green. There's a cage or something to the right and Beck is wearing clothes with lots of strings hanging off his chest, arms and whatever. The rainbow-colored football players smash the nerds with what's left of the wall. Beck starts singing about war or something causing you to lose your balance...then he completely loses me. I think something to do with a prostitute. Anyway the nerds go to the kitchen and act like they're in a comedy ghost movie. Stuff happens, including kitchen items humping each other. Even the fridge grows arms and goes after the oven. Why am I watching this?

We reach the refrain as Beck sings about wanting to defy the logic of the sex laws. Not the laws themselves, mine you, but the logic behind them. His fantasy apparently is to let you take advantage of him while he pretends to be helpless at a halfway home. Come on, Beck's an adult and he can handle this! I have a compromise. You do what you want, and you do it all the way over there were I'm not, and we never meet again and I never have to hear from you again. Sounds good? I'm not taking away your privacy, right? Sigh. Anyway, we see the guitarist turn into a zebra furry for no reason. If someone ever comes up with a scale of worst furries, zebra heads have to rank pretty high I'd think.

Not content to be really strange, it gets weirder as aliens make an appearance. The aliens in the ufo look over assorted aliens on land who start the same behind the back standing position thing that the fridge did. Aliens have ufos but they don't have the karma sutra. Advantage: Earth. Oh, I guess the ufo aliens are like The Man trying to stop per...free people from doing what the want. A Power Ranger like fight breaks out. I have no pony in this. Meanwhile I still don't understand a thing Beck is saying but I caught a line about a venereal disease, so there. Power rangers defeat the ufo aliens.

Refrain repeats. Some girl that looks like Screech grows breasts. Yeah, you defy the logic of the laws that say breasts don't just grow out of nowhere! We see a lot of dancers behind some dirty brick building. They start to spray paint each other. I hate to pour cold water on these escapades but this isn't an orgy, people. Various people from the video show up where Beck's band is and they all do random things. The nerds seem to be enjoying themselves. The video ends with Jack Black giving a short speech about defying sex laws. I'm shocked, SHOCKED that he was given something to say.


I don't know how to compare this to the other two really strange videos this month. The song is ok but the subject isn't really my thing. I mean, come on, I write a blog! The video is pretty freaken strange and the lyrics probably mean something but they're non-sensical to me.

The awesome thing is when someone smashed Jack Black over the head with a wall.

Music Video #49 (Day 19 of 2008)

This will be the most unique entry in this series EVER! For you see, not only have I heard this song before...I've also seen the video! Ok, I've only seen the shorten version so a little is new, but otherwise I already knew what the video was about. So there. Today's video is Three Little Pigs, by Green Jelly. This song was included on this CD that I own, and I saw the video last year.


For anybody who hasn't seen the video, it's a silly metal version of the Three Little Pigs. We start with a swirly intro and a book of fairy tales shows up. The singer tells us to sit back while he tells us a story about the pigs and a BIG BAAD WOLF! We get several pig butt shots when he says tail.

We go from the book to a claymation anthropomorphic wolf. It looks down at itself and sees that it's wearing a jacket and jeans. THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANDFATHER'S Three Little Pigs! To prove that, the wolf puts on sunglasses and flashes a winning smile. He starts to play the guitar as we get our first lyrics.

Pig number one is a hick who lives on a farm. He wears a green cap and a chin that screams yokel. Pig rides around on a tractor but wants to break free from the country. He buys a guitar and moves to Hollywood to make a name for himself. Somehow, he avoids falling into prostitution but he does fail. He builds a straw house on a street with lots of pornography stores and such and is soon attacked by the wolf.

We get the standard wolf attack set to heavy metal. Pigs have very squeaky voices. They're the only part of the song not narrated by the singer. These parts are the highlight of the song as the singer repeats the wolf's lines over and over again getting louder as he goes. In the video the wolf actually bursts into the room before destroying the house. After the house is destroyed the wolf does a solo, which includes a bit where the Big Bad Wolf looks like he's...never mind.

Our second pig is a slacker. In fact, the video informs us that he's a marijuana head. The pig is lying on the beach next to a Jamaican flag towel. Is there anything else that island is known for? He makes his income from religious preaching. Sigh. Instead of sticks he makes his house of trash. He hangs out with the hick pig and does druggie stuff. The wolf pulls up in a motorcycle to attack. The same thing happens to these two pigs and the wolf smokes a giant cigarette when he's done. I think it's a cigarette.

The third pig has a The Brain size noggin and is a grade A student. Not only that, but his dad is a rock star named Pig Nugent who has several gold records. Third pig got a master degree in engineering and built an odd three story building where each floor is jutting out in a different direction. Look pig, just because you can... It's a tri-level mansion that his father paid for. I'm now envious of a gumby-like character.

Wolf attacks, but the attack fails. The pig respond by calling the police. And by police, I somehow mean Rambo. Rambo shoots the wolf several times and we get a quick shot of some live show which was probably taken when Green Jelly did this to a crowd. I'm guessing. We get a story book picture of the pigs looking over the wolf. The song ends by noting that if you listen hard enough, you can still hear the wolf attacking the pigs. Cue chorus. Actually, the song ends with this:

A band with no talent can easily amuse
idiots, with a stupid, puppet show.

I'd be insulted, but they used claymation, so who's stupid now?


I love this song. Heavy metal and drug jokes aren't my thing, but this is still a great, fun song. The video was great too.

The awesome thing is some of the lyrics, especially the part that goes like this:

Then one day he was cranking out Bob Marley,
and along came the Wolf on his big bad Harley.

If only I was half as clever I could have a better blog.

Robot Master Saturday #2

Here's Guts Man. He's a tough robot that can pick up giant rocks and throw them at you. He's returned in various forms in several other Mega Man games. So let's see what I came up with back when I was a kid.



It's Square Man! Look out, or he'll throw a quadrilateral with sides of equal length and all 90 degree angles at you!

That's a goofy face I drew. Even goofier is the way his right leg looks. His knee is so big he can touch it with his hand without bending over. I think the biggest problem is that I made the room so large that he looks tiny in comparison. Oh well.

Music Video #48 (Day 18 of 2008)

Today's video is by Matthew Good Band. It's titled Load Me Up and is four minutes long.


Are you trying to tell me something, Lita? Hmmm?

We start the video with a big eye. In it we can see the reflection of people running. It's like the Drew Carey show is about to start. Three guys escape from a building while a bunch of dumb people run right into the doors. They eventually figure out that the doors go inward. I hate it when that happens, because some doors are poorly designed and yet you feel like a complete moron when you push instead of pull. These people look like they're dressed to go to a private school. Whoo hoo, schools out!

The singer who we don't see tells us to picture ourself sleeping on a plane with a possible bomb ticking. Well there's a pleasant, not scary at all scenario. Everybody is dead, and we're informed that everybody probably didn't go to heaven. Super. We reach the refrain and singer is asking us if we're feeling ok and looking out for ourselves. Well we were until your depressing little exercise. The three guys run up a curved flight of stairs while the private schoolers follow.

Singer wants to be put out of his misery, most likely by drug or drink. Sure, why not? I'll have what he's having. Three guys jump off the top floor of the building and the mob follows. Wasn't there a Beatles music video like this? They all somehow land in a pool or a river or something. I find it implausible that the building would be so close to this body of water and I find it implausible that they didn't fall on each other. Now singer wants us to think about being alone in the ocean with bunch of corpses. You just keep piling on, song.

Three guys (or is it four?) emerge from wherever to a fake wall at the end of The Truman Show. At least that's what I'm thinking of when looking at the background. The private school kids give chase, and this gives the video the opportunity to show several women dripping wet. Totally part of a story and not a cheap excuse for wet tshirts, really! During the break the gang catches the three guys and tackle them back under water. This will load you up: Drowning! One girl even bites a guy's hand, which seems like overkill. I guess you really, really don't ever screw with their school mascot.

One guy gets tackled by a girl. It's not me*. He ends up at a soccer field somehow. Did they really think that soccer was going to liven things up? It's raining while the crowd is yelling insults at him from the other side of the field. One woman spits to illustrate how murderous they are. This is how I view the world, but I may be but a wee bit paranoid. Singer is now singing about picturing yourself losing your shirt at Vegas. Our final guy must be hearing the same lyrics I am and takes the only way out by trying to crowd surf.

But wait! This guy is really sleeping. He wakes up to see the spitting chick in his room looking down at him. SHE'S GOT A KNIFE!


This song is ok, as long as you don't pay attention to the lyrics. Usually I don't when I first view a video and I rely on lyrics web pages a lot. The music video fits the theme. I'll give it that. The singer is trying to run away from the bad stuff, in this case a mob.

The awesome thing about this video is the story I made up to explain why the crowd was so angry. You see, they listened to the song when the band, the three guys, played it to them. The crowd was already feeling bad and the song was driving them into depression. However, they decided they could deal with their emotions by beating the heck out of the band. That made them feel better.


* - That was self-depreciative humor. Not bragging.

Music Video #47 (Day 17 of 2008)

We're already half way through the month. Today's video is Frontier Psychiatrist by the Avalanches. Take a seat and watch the next four and a half minutes.


Well, anything goes, I guess. I usually recap a lot of the action in the video for no reason but I'm not sure if can with this one.

The video starts with a curtain on stage, just like the last video that was go for broke nuts. Behind the curtain we see two people in mock black and white talking about a kid named Dexter. Dexter's mom believes he's at school, while his principle informs her that he's actually been expelled from the Baltimore public school system. It was always my understanding that you can't be expelled from public school, but I've probably mentioned that before and forgot the explanation. A granny plays the drums in the background while the mother makes excuses for her kid. Principle informs her that Dexter is considered criminally insane by his staff. Ah, swift, brutal discipline.

The lights go on and no one is black and white anymore. The song starts and we see some men play some really funny wind instruments. I have no idea what they are but they remind me of cartoon characters who play furnaces as instruments. Or maybe they are made of old tires. Then we see ghosts rock back and forth to the rhythm. Did they kill this kid too? Two old guys start rapping about how Dexter needs therapy. The second guy argues that it's psychosomatic. Then it gets crazy as we see an old guy's head on a turtle and a guy with a coconut puppet. I didn't make that up. Dexter still needs therapy according to the first old guy. Some cowboys act out Dexter's anger, I think. For some reason we're told that Dexter made false teeth. I know I'm only an impartial observer, but that particular piece of evidence doesn't help the case to get him a therapist.

During the break we just get a lot of random stuff. A skeleton plays a record. Some indians show up. Some guy foams on a therapist's couch. A guy in a diaper shows up. Foam guy (I think) felt hypnotized and in another world that sounds like a harem. I never get to have dream. Then suddenly there's a skeleton with a yellowish glass eye ball. Then there's a woman doing aerobics where her legs can almost touch her head. Then there's a woman selling a juicer. Sure, why not. Frontier psychiatrism sounds like a blast.

We get a repeat of the boy needs therapy part up to the false teeth part. The only thing new is the gorilla playing the drums.

Then there's suddenly a naked woman. Lita! Except she's just wearing a peach colored bikini. Definitely catches the eye though. The song shifts a gear by having a elderly teacher ask a little girl about animals that can talk that aren't human. Girl is stumped until she sees a person in a pigeon costume. This leads to a chimp chasing the pigeon around the stage. Somehow I'm reminded of the strangest Three Stooges short ever.

Teacher asks if the girl can think of anything else. She points to a big record being rolled out on stage. The song ends with a bunch of Mexicans playing instruments while walking away.


Dang what a weird video. Much more random than the one I linked. It's good, but that can be said about a lot of songs that sound like they took a few phrases and remixed them to a good beat. The music video makes it unique.

The awesome thing about this video is the scary old guy head turtle. It's just like my alma mater says. "Fear the turtle!"

Music Video #46 (Day 16 of 2008)

Today's video is out of this world! Yeah, I'm unimaginitive. It's Space Oddity by four time champ David Bowie. And guess what, we get five minutes of him.


My first reaction to watching this video was wondering "this was made in the 60s? I would have guessed early 80s." I know that this was around the time the counter-culture got big but David's look still seems out of place for the decade, no matter how late it was.

We start with a close up with one of those wavelength machines. I forget what they're called, but they're only used for physics class to try to teach about wavelengths. Or so I recall. I think it was called the glowing slinky machine.

We see Bowie and he has orange died hair and a feminine look. That's why I thought it was made in the eighties because that period had a brief androgynous fad. We get a look at his face and I have to clarify what I said. When I say feminine, I mean he's wearing makeup, because he'd otherwise be a very ugly looking transvestite. Moving along, David plays a guitar while singing generic space shuttle program phrases. In this case, it's "Ground control to Major Tom." Major Tom is told to get ready for liftoff. Then Major Tom is informed that the count down is about to start and he's wished good luck.

We see a switchboard and David sings through a countdown. I bet that people lost interest in the space program after they got tired of countless countdowns seen in movies. David poins to the sky to dramatically make his poin.

David reaches a higher octave when he sings about how Major Tom is already a hero. Product placements are already guaranteed. (Did that happen in real life? I'm curious now about what Buzz Aldrin put his name on, or if Armstrong did a commercial where he said "one small step.") Major Tom is told that he's about to take the first exciting step outside the capsule.

Major Tom finally gets something to say. He talks about what's it like to float around in space while the camera tries to simulate it. Space is like a wobbly web cam. The major notes how the stars look different and so does the earth. I would hope so giving how much taxpayer money went into this project! Could you imagine going into space and saying "Oh, just what I thought. This isn't a big deal."?

Then the video takes a strange and unnecessary turn. Major Tom starts to talk about how the spaceship know were to go. His last words to ground control is that he loves his wife. Ground control frantically tries to get Major Tom to respond, but David's body language says that this doesn't happen.

The song ends with Major Tom once again notices how he's alone in a space capsule not able to do anything. Why did this have to turn into Apollo 13? That hadn't even happened yet. Couldn't they have been all introspective without the tragedy?


I liked this song up to the ending. It's a nice song especially since it came out right after the first moon landing. Bowie still looks weird.

The awesome thing about this video is what I just noted. This song came out just around at the time where several more missions would send a shuttle to the moon. Bowie was at the right place at the right time and gave a memorable song.

Music Video #45 (Day 15 of 2008)

Today's video is called Camel Walk. It is by a band called Southern Culture on the Skids. The South will not rise again in a brief two and a half minutes.


This is a weird video in that it's weird that Lita likes it. Or maybe someone else picked it for her.

We start with a couple of hicks outside a shack. The guy has dumb lower lip facial hair (I forget what that's called) and the woman looks like Peg Bundy. Hick guy tells his gal to eat a cracker while wearing presumably lingerie. I guess it's a hick thing that a wussy suburbanite like me wouldn't get. Since this is the soundtrack to some movie I never heard of, we see various clips from that movie. The first clip looks like some guy licking Ellen Degeneres's armpit.

Many cuts happen. I guess it's a short video because they cut every 2 seconds. I'm not listing everything on screen, but there is a Mexican wrestler in one of the clips. He even shows up at a party where dumb lower lip facial hair guy is. At some party with an aloha sign in the background this guy sings about being like the Israelites escaping from the pharaoh and wondering around the desert. Instead of finding the promise land and some Manna, he instead wants the truth, poiny boots, and a few snack crackers. You can really judge a person by what they ask for in their hour of need. I hope he got those little fish crackers.

While he does a hick yell, Mary Tyler Moore shows off her cleavage in another movie clip. How was the career going in the nineties, Laura? Hick guy sings that his gal makes him want to walk like a camel. You mean awkwardly, ready to spit at anyone? More random scenes happen, including a what the heck moment when a woman takes something and sticks it under her shirt on her underwear. People dance. Hick wonders aloud who's in charge. He wants crackers NOW, dangit. He warns someone not to eat too much oatmeal pie. This turns him on for some reason. Refrain about camels again.


Third verse is about how the hick asks if he can get a quarter out from under the poiny boot of the subject. This is suggestive for some reason, as if the quarter was going to put him over the top of the funds needed to go on a date with sexy results expected. I refuse to make the previous sentence better written. He sings that he wants oatmeal pie, and I wish I knew what it looks like because he makes it sound obscene. Walk like a hump-back animal.

The movie looks like a comedy date movie. I deduce that from the fact that I'm cringing just looking at it. Why do women like stupid things? (Admittedly, they may not like this particular movie.)


This song is about wanting to walk like a camel. That means...getting on all fours. And...I have no idea. It sounds like a happy little hick song and the guy sounds vaguely horny, but let's not explore that.

The song is ok, I guess. As for the video, what is up with the girl putting the thing between her thighs? The heck!

The awesome thing about the video is obvious. It's the Mexican wrestler. It's like the one thing Mexico gets right. Does the WWF ever have Mexican wrestlers? That would be interesting.

E3 for Big N (2008)

I watched the Nintendo presentation again and I'll give my thoughts. I was only half paying attention to it this year.

The presentation was really light. Like last year, Nintendo seems content to coast on it's success. It's odd, really. I'm not complaining because I thought the thing was ok but I wish they would stop showing sales charts and make the show more exciting like their famous 2006 effort.

They started off by showing off some snowboard game. I'm not into a game like that, so I didn't care.

They next brought in the president of Nintendo to talk about blah blah blah. Basically it was the standard we rock and here are the buzzwords speech. Thankfully after a while they showed off the first must have game for me, Animal Crossing Wii. It looks way too much like the DS version but it does have voice chat which I'd like to try with Lita. I hope Nintendo opens it up and allows you to play with non-friends, but I doubt it. I hope Nintendo reveals more info about which games will use the Wii Chat thing.

After that I think they moved on to DS games. They talked about Spore and another Guitar Hero DS game, and I'm interested in neither. They did mention GTA for the DS, which has me interested. Will it be 3d? If they pull it off, I may be interested, even if it'll lack the sound track of the other games. They mentioned Pokemon something, but I didn't care and I think they wasted too much time with it.

They finally brought up what should be huge news for the Wii. They showed off the Wii MotionPlus, which will likely tell us if the Wii sinks or swims from here on out. The Motion Plus allows the Wii Remote to be more accurate, which it hasn't really since Wii Sports baseball. I've complained about how Nintendo seems to have dropped the ball on accurate motion and to tell the truth this thing should have been out at launch. Still, I can't wait to see what Nintendo (and hopefully some third parties) will do with this thing besides Wii Sports Resorts. By the way, Resorts looked like a lot of fun even though it's another mini-game collection. I definitely want to try the sword game and hope that Nintendo offers some online. This is the second must-have game.

The show concluded with Wii Music, which seems like a missed opportunity to me. I'm sure it'll be a great family game but I think if Nintendo revealed a big franchise title they would have had a much better presentation. I'm going to withhold my opinion on Wii Music for now but it better not be random button pushes that do a preset musical. Let's hope Nintendo has thought this one out right by the holiday season.

At the end of the show Reggie took a shot at the competitors. Good for him.

After the show I went to some gamefaqs boards to see a lot of nerds whine like they did last year. So I guess that means the Wii will continue selling strong. See ya next year!

Music Video #44 (Day 14 of 2008)

You're looking at Tork's Blog, where your favorite music video goes to die. Today's ruined memory is Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve. It's five minutes you'll miss.


That guy is ruder than me. I've never walked down the street like a hockey player.

Our video is of a guy who walks down the street towards the camera. He passes several people, not too successfully. The video leaves out some colors so it has a blue look. There's a violin that plays throughout the song because the music video has symphony in the title.

Our singer stands in front of a street and waits a half minute before crossing. He nearly gets hit by a car but that probably wasn't intentional. He starts singing about how life is a bitter sweet symphony because it's tough making ends meet. He says that life is about slavery to money and then you die. If we went back to a barter system, would that help? What, I'm just asking. He bumps into a couple women by going in between them. He barely reacts and continues his song while they give him dirty looks. This is followed by him knocking over a woman who isn't paying attention. And yet he still doesn't react. This doesn't make him likable.

He promises to take the viewer down the only road he knows. It's a road that meets all the other roads. The refrain begins and he goes on about not changing but that's who he is, baby! Only not so peppy. He next claims that he's a million different people from one day to next, so I guess he represents a large city of people just going around doing their business. He knocks into 3 other people, bringing the bump count up to 5. If you ever do change, learn how to walk properly.

During the second verse he jumps on a car in a alley and pisses off the driver. She gets out just to scream at him for a bit before realizing he doesn't see her. He sings about not being a praying person but tonight he's trying because of the pain he feels. The praying makes him feel a little better but he doesn't think anything is listening to him. He somehow manages not to hit anybody during the refrain.

But during the third verse he knocks into two guys. The black guy is muscular and I was waiting for him to tear off our skinny singer's head when I first saw this video. Even he realizes that you can't get the attention of this guy and gives up. Also, the third verse is just repeating everything else in the song, so we're wrapping things up at this poin. Four guys eventually join our singer, so they're probably the rest of The Verve. They all walk off into the overcast.

This song is about... well you can tell it has a bit to do with depression giving the defeatist lyrics that begin the song. Also, he feels that he can't change his life which is how depression controls a person. Even when turning to God he finds no comfort. In the music video he's almost completely oblivious to anything and never changes his path. Very gloomy stuff.

I wonder what a Eeyore music video would be like.


The song is ok. The violin is a nice touch and is important to the idea that life is a bitter sweet symphony. The music video is the second (I believe) video this month that goes for a blue, washed out colors look. I can at least see what they were going for here.

The awesome thing is when he passes the Golden Fried Chicken Restaurant. Sound delicious!