My essay is about Paul Hewson. He is the lead singer of the band U2 and is known as Bono Vox, not to be confused with the former senator or baseball/football player. It's pronounced "Bonn no." The Vox is silent.
Bono is best known for his roll in movies, but he's done more then that. His most famous movie is the one he wrote, Million Dollar Hotel. Since it stars Mel Gibson, I can only assume that it's really gory and questionable.
Bono's band is known for it's use of giant TVs. This is because the group is so tiny that you can barely see them on stage. I don't know what the cars are for, though. Their signature song is Elevation, which is about how awesome the Tomb Raider series is. Well, at least the first couple, and maybe the last one.
Other movies that Bono sung for or contributed to include Johnny Mneumonic, Batman Forever, and Goldeneye. This is because Bono believes in helping others, and he helped out by making people want to put up with 2 crummy movies and an only ok one.
Other causes he supports is the "Help Popes Become Cooler" cause and the "Only Invite Brunettes On Stage" cause. He wants to give iPods to hungry children, but is constantly thwarted by apathetic beaurocrats.
Bono's arch-nemesis is a devil that has taken on his form. You can tell it's the devil by noting it's more feminine appearance and the lack of cool sunglasses. Also, the devil uses less cuss words.
Since Bono is Irish, presumably everything he did in the previous paragraphs happened because he drinks. He once got arrested for indecent exposure at a bar.
Truly this One is no Lemon.
2 comments:
Wow, Tork. You know more about Bono than I thought you did. Tell me the truth. How much of a role did Wikipedia play in the creation of this article?
I admit I laughed a few times reading this. My favorite part:
Bono's arch-nemesis is a devil that has taken on his form. You can tell it's the devil by noting it's more feminine appearance and the lack of cool sunglasses. Also, the devil uses less cuss words.
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