Music Video #12

Today I'm watching a video by Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was once so huge that when I was a kid, even I knew about him. Some old guys were playing Bad on WMAL back when it was a local station. This video is Smooth Criminal, which I don't think I've heard of. It's nine and a half minutes long?! It can be found here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mfQn3pYwKM

I feel ashamed right now. I can't remember this song at all, but I recognize this video for having a lot of the iconic Michael Jackson stuff. I never played the Sega Moonwalker game but I know it takes a lot from this video, down to tossing quarters into juke boxes and the way Michael is dressed. The video includes Michael spinning around and poining a dozen times, and then pulling out a tommy gun when he gets bored and wants the video to end.

Do I even have to say much? Let's just freeze the guy in the eighties.

Anyway, white suit and hat Michael Jackson enters a club with a lot of 1930s gangsters. Some kids watch him enter, which only lead to some uncomfortable feelings giving what we know about the guy from the mid-nineties on. For some reason the music is cutesy and Michael is blasted with air when he opens the door. It's a bit Steven Spielberg-esque. Finally he enters and the music goes blank as Michael stares at the crowd before scaring them slightly with an MJ move. He tosses a coin into the juke box. The only way it would be cooler if he took out a gun that shot coins.

I just listened to it again. I had a hard time making out the lyrics the first time since he was singing really fast and Michael's voice is a bit rough the entire time. Anyway, Annie gets attacked. Is she ok? Is she ok? She was attacked by a smooth criminal. That's the whole song. I guess it explains why everyone is dressed like gangsters.

If you had a blue filter, could you do anything with it besides having a music video or fighting a climatic sword fight?

Haw, that one guy got shot in the middle of a flip.

Ok, what's funnier? Michael Jackson flirting with the women or Michael Jackson beating up that one guy with one punch?

I can't really say much about Michael's dancing because I could never do them justice. Seriously, let's freeze this guy in time.

Anyway, about the five and a half minute mark, the song stops and a window breaks. It gets even bluer then before. People start screaming in unintentionally funny ways, and they start yelling the refrain. Yes, I think that questions been asked already. Then back to the song and more dancing. Again, I can't do the dancing justice. He does the moonwalk, naturally, and leans forward until he's 45 degrees from the ground. Yep, he's an alien all right.

Then back to the kids watching. Blah. One kid does a good impersonation of MJ's moves but let's move on, shall we?

After more dancing, the kids get kidnapped by some offscreen menace. So naturally, MJ's reaction is to pull a tommy gun outta nowhere and shoot at the ceiling. See, he was crazy back then. We just didn't realize it yet. (Psst, the kids were kidnapped outside. Or are you shooting inside because you don't want to hit them?)

I apologize to Lita if she expected a longer post, but my ignorance of dancing and music videos in general would lead me to butcher the description of MJ's dancing, so it's better this way. The song isn't as good as Bad, Beat It, or Billie Jean, but it's ok. The dancing is great.

The awesome part is when he breaks the pool ball in his hand and blows the dust in the pool player's face, and by awesome I mean it's sooooo absurd, it's awesome.