Music Video #23

Today's video is called Knights of cydonia and it's made by a band called Muse. It's 6 minutes that can be found here at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV1bRfLHA3A


Wow, that video was crazy. In a good way, of course. It takes some cowboy cliches and mixes them with modern stuff, and even fantasy/sci fi stuff. And I didn't quite catch what a Knight of cydonia was. Maybe it's in the lyrics. This video had a good looking blonde, but she still doesn't match the blonde from Rockafeller Skank video. (Yes, I have a crush on her, so what?)

The video starts with a "Presents" which leads us to believe that we're about to watch a foreign film. We see short glimpses of the hero, villian, and a robot that has nothing to do with anything. Still, a robot, eh? PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT! Mustached cowboy hero imagines himself in a stockade at the middle of a generic old western town. Then he sits up, because he's too cool to wake up first, then sit up. He practices martial arts, because he's too awesome to simply shoot stuff.

He practices several martial art styles that I recognize from the later Mortal Kombat games. Except for the 'flaming energy ball.' What is he, a monkey anime thingie? Cowboy takes off on his horse, and from some angles I'm seeing Bruce Campbell. Just saying.

Cowboy rides around. We see the blonde and the villian again. Muse makes an appearance. Then the cowboy pulls out his gun and shoots at a shrub. Only, the gun shoots a laser. No wonder why he has to learn martial arts. Anyone who has seen a scifi movie with a million laser guns know that they never can hit anybody. Still, that shrub will never ^$#@@$ with him now, am I right?

YOU MANIACS! YOU'RE MAKING A REFERENCE TO PLANET OF THE APES!

Cydonia turns out to be generic old west town. Cowboy beats up some random bad guy, using the Matrix 'come here' fighting style. He celebrates by going to a saloon. However, this is a futuristic bar. The important thing is that the song finally starts two minutes in. Holograms of Muse play in the background. If hologram technology ever takes off for the masses, let's hope it's better then static-y blue stuff.

The song is about the singer inviting you to go on a trip with him through history. Meanwhile the video has the cowboy playing poker with the blonde. He's purposely losing, which shows that he doesn't get the rules to strip poker. Singer continues to sing about how God and government are useless to him, and he offers the listener a chance to fight for survival and stuff. The song repeats itself after that.

Next up the cowboy proves how impressive he is. The blonde is not happy with him, and when he goes up to grab her arm, she turns to slap him three times. The first two times it happens the setting changes while he takes it, but he stops the third one and they begin to make out. I'll have to remember the three slap rule. While the half-naked couple make out, their are clips of him also fighting at the bar. That's how awesome he is.

Villian rides up in a car. This causes some locals to pray, which I guess is funny, or something. Cowboy looks at the hologram machine of Muse, and takes away a cd for some reason. Villian shows up and reveals that he's holding blonde hostage. Cowboy and villain gets into a Three Stooges fight that cowboy loses. You should have brought a pie, you fool! Or do the 'around the world' bop!

Cowboy is in a stockade, and some creepy locals throw some rotten stuff at him. The stuff looks really gross. Suddenly cowboy is in the desert, dying. He looks forward and sees a woman riding a unicorn. That would be a nice way to go, but it turns out to be real, I think. Cowboy gets to hang out with unicorn woman, an asian martial artist, and the robot from earlier.

Villian drags blonde to be executed by noose. Villian seems to be the type of guy who hisses a lot. Villian licks the blonde because he's creepy and it's the old west. Blonde tells the gathered crowd to %@$#@ off, or something. At the last moment, a laser is shot by someone while she falls through onto the motorcycle of the cowboy. Cowboy is wearing a Lone Ranger mask while blonde is shooting people with laser guns. I'm not making any of this video up.

Villian and hero have a standard showdown. Villian misses a dozen times (told ya!) and he's defeated by...the cowboy's badge. Cowboy Badges!, coming this fall...spring to CBS...CW!

Remember when I watched the Michael Jackson video and noted that the awesome part was also ridiculous, and that's what made it awesome? This whole video is like that!