Oh. That was it.
An SNES game I have not played! Here are Tork's terms:
20 minutes. Not any real challenge but try to get to one of the Caverns (I think the first one is Cavern of Hate) within ten minutes.
I recommend the sorcerous.
In the end I did choose the Sorceress, not because Tork told me to, but because she is the only girl. Why do Jofo and Shamino have hamburgers by their heads? Who could say? Let's check out the opening cutscene.
Me too, Buddy! Let's high five!
Not usually my choice for stuff to do when I'm bored, but what the hell? Do what makes you happy, Man.
The Dark Knight carries out his terrible plan and locks Lord Tholden in his castle or someplace.
I guess so! You should have kidnapped that old guy a long time ago!The king of the realm isn't happy, though.
Yeah, good luck with that. I'm gonna be over here playing video games.
Oh. Turns out I'm the Avatar. And it's my job to rescue Lord Balding. This king has soldiers standing all over his palace, but he can't send any of them out. Nope. He has to jump straight to summoning the mystical sorceress or whatever. I should fireball his ass.It was around this poin that the emulator crashed. My time wasn't up yet, so I had to start the thing back up and watch this long unskippable cutscene all over again.
Hell no I didn't stop the timer while that cutscene played the second time.
About 20 seconds after the cutscene ended I was sprinting out of that dumb castle and looking for the Cave Of Hate... which turned out to be right behind the castle. Like five feet away. Watching the cutscene twice took ten minutes, but the actual gameplay time it took to find the cave was under a minute.Who's that walking into the Cavern? That's not me! Stupid game.
So this game is you walk around and if you stop walking your chick blows her bubblegum. That's about what I got out of it. If you smack this hourglass around it'll play a little dumb song but that's about it.
Sometimes these green naked dudes will attack you. They're not very hard to kill. The game didn't get tough until I ran out of ammo. I guess if I had my chick stand around and rest a while her magic would have filled back up over time, but that's boring. I don't play this game to watch a blond chick sit on her ass. I have real life and a mirror for that.
Nah. The way I see it, Lord Old Guy doesn't need saving. The Dark Knight is actually a pretty kickass ruler. If Batman were running for mayor of your town, wouldn't you vote for him?
1 comment:
This game reminds me of Gauntlet, an NES game. I never got very far in that game. My favorite thing to do was to play against other people and shoot them. Good times.
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